"Woooo!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!"

[Muad'Dib]

I was leaving work tonight, sometime around 11:00 pm, when I heard this. I work at one of the finest hotels in Sacramento California, aww heck, I'll just say it, I work at the Hyatt Regency (it is where das Governator is currently living). I was leaving work, walking down one of the back halls, when I heard someone yell:

"WOOOOO!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!"

I do not know who said this. I do not know why.
I do not know if it was the punchline to a joke. I do not know if it was happening just then and he wanted to brag.

I just know what I heard, and that it was among the most surreal moments of my life.

(Posted here because of cursing)

[Ephemera]

Was it said in a thick Austrian accent?

[asomihite]

Damn!! It's cool that you used the word "surreal" to describe this experience. A friend of mine and me were talkin about surreal experiences the other day and he tried to say that to be surreal, the event had to be something that seriously impacted and possibly totally changed your life. I said "hell no it doesn't." A thread on surreal experiences might be kinda cool. I'm too tired to start it now though.

[Silver Serpentine]

Ah. I see you've had an encounter with the elusive Lithuanian Ninja.

[Silver Serpentine]

Oh yeah.

And I think "surreal" means something so strange as to be dream-like (you know how wonky dreams are). Not like-changing. Pfffft.

I could look it up, but I'm laaaaaaazy.

[htns]

Originally Posted by Muad'Dib

I was leaving work tonight, sometime around 11:00 pm, when I heard this. I work at one of the finest hotels in Sacramento California, aww heck, I'll just say it, I work at the Hyatt Regency (it is where das Governator is currently living). I was leaving work, walking down one of the back halls, when I heard someone yell:

"WOOOOO!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!"

I do not know who said this. I do not know why.
I do not know if it was the punchline to a joke. I do not know if it was happening just then and he wanted to brag.

I just know what I heard, and that it was among the most surreal moments of my life.

(Posted here because of cursing)

That's hilarious! Thanks for making my morning!

[Casey1505]

If he had time to comment on his activities, he obviously wasn't giving his full attention to the task at hand.

[Philster]

Did you hear, "All your jerk belong to us?"

Because then it would have made a lot more sense.

[Horrifying Howler Monkey]

I would have pointed out how disturbing it was that he was thinking of fucking his mom while masturbating.

[Dante]

You should have shouted back "When done masturbating, bring pie!"

[WernhamHogg]

It's not really surreal, just weird and disgusting. Surreal would have to be not only weird and surprising, but "unreal" or (more properly) transcending what you believe to be real.

I wonder if surreal is the "ironic" of the new decade. I've heard it a lot lately.

[Chastain86]

Did he follow it up with "SNOOTCH TO THE NOOCH, YOU FAT FUCK!"

Because if he did, I might know who that is.

[The Flying Dutchman]

Was it a male or female voice? That would make a difference for me.

[Shodan]

Give him a break, he probably just learned how.

You know what they say - if masturbation offends you, just don't sit by me on the bus.

Regards,
Shodan

[Tony Montana]

Originally Posted by skutir

It's not really surreal, just weird and disgusting. Surreal would have to be not only weird and surprising, but "unreal" or (more properly) transcending what you believe to be real.

Who's to say that it didn't trancend what he thought to be real?

[Knowed Out]

Dude, it's California. Something like that should be par for the course.

[Starving Artist]

Originally Posted by asomihite

Damn!! It's cool that you used the word "surreal" to describe this experience. A friend of mine and me were talkin about surreal experiences the other day and he tried to say that to be surreal, the event had to be something that seriously impacted and possibly totally changed your life. I said "hell no it doesn't." A thread on surreal experiences might be kinda cool. I'm too tired to start it now though.

Could be your friend is thinking of an epiphany or a paradigm shift.

[Munch]

"If it wasn't for my horse, I never would have spent that year in college."
-Overheard by Lewis Black

[MsRobyn]

Originally Posted by Dante

You should have shouted back "When done masturbating, bring pie!"

I don't think I want pie from that guy.

Robin

[WernhamHogg]

Originally Posted by Tony Montana

Who's to say that it didn't trancend what he thought to be real?

Well, if you have to ask you don't really understand the meaning of "surreal." It's not just something shocking and unexpected, but "having the intense irrational reality of a dream." Hearing someone yell about masturbation is hardly "intensely irrational," it's just gross and weird.

I see the English language has lost another word. It can join "literally" and "ironic" in the afterlife of words that used to have meaning and now mean nothing at all.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

Originally Posted by Shodan

Give him a break, he probably just learned how.

So, you're saying that the Governator did say it?

[vibrotronica]

Best. Thread title. Ever!

[Greathouse]

Originally Posted by Chastain86

Did he follow it up with "SNOOTCH TO THE NOOCH, YOU FAT FUCK!"

Because if he did, I might know who that is.

Awsome! Fucking awsome! Now I have to explain to my coworkers what the hell was so funny.

[lightingtool]

Originally Posted by skutir

Well, if you have to ask you don't really understand the meaning of "surreal." It's not just something shocking and unexpected, but "having the intense irrational reality of a dream." Hearing someone yell about masturbation is hardly "intensely irrational," it's just gross and weird.

I see the English language has lost another word. It can join "literally" and "ironic" in the afterlife of words that used to have meaning and now mean nothing at all.

Dude, get off your high horse.* Do you wander around speaking 17th century English? Or do you use the language that has evolved since then? And even beyond that, I think you're wrong. I ambled over to dictionary.com (Whoops, I hope that's good enough for a language fundie like yourself) and found the first definition of surreal to be "Having qualities attributed to or associated with surrealism." So, I looked up surrealism: "A 20th-century literary and artistic movement that attempts to express the workings of the subconscious and is characterized by fantastic imagery and incongruous juxtaposition of subject matter." I would say hearing someone shouting the now famous line, "Whoooo! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!" while you're just trying to go home after getting off (heh) work fits that definition.


*Alternate readings for that line inlcude: "When come down from horse, bring pie." "Oh, that must be a 1920's style death horse you're on." and, of course, "All your high horse belong to us."

[Antigen]

Originally Posted by Casey1505

If he had time to comment on his activities, he obviously wasn't giving his full attention to the task at hand.

Task at hand... heh heh.

[WernhamHogg]

Originally Posted by lightingtool

Dude, get off your high horse.* Do you wander around speaking 17th century English? Or do you use the language that has evolved since then? And even beyond that, I think you're wrong. I ambled over to dictionary.com (Whoops, I hope that's good enough for a language fundie like yourself) and found the first definition of surreal to be "Having qualities attributed to or associated with surrealism." So, I looked up surrealism: "A 20th-century literary and artistic movement that attempts to express the workings of the subconscious and is characterized by fantastic imagery and incongruous juxtaposition of subject matter." I would say hearing someone shouting the now famous line, "Whoooo! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!" while you're just trying to go home after getting off (heh) work fits that definition.


*Alternate readings for that line inlcude: "When come down from horse, bring pie." "Oh, that must be a 1920's style death horse you're on." and, of course, "All your high horse belong to us."

What's this about a high horse? I merely project that "surreal" will, like so many other words, have basically no meaning in the near future because it'll be used willy nilly to express anything, much like a few other words that have been recently reduced to mere syllables. I attribute no morals or ethics to the situation, perhaps a little disappointment.

[Astroboy14]

Dang! I didn't know I yelled that loudly enough for anyone to hear...

Sorry 'bout that, dude!

[Smeghead]

Only on the SDMB could a thread titled, "Woooo!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!" turn into a discussion on semantics.

[plnnr]

Maybe it was Salvador Dali's ghost - then you'd both be right. Or maybe Magritte - yeah, probably Magritte.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

Originally Posted by skutir

Well, if you have to ask you don't really understand the meaning of "surreal." It's not just something shocking and unexpected, but "having the intense irrational reality of a dream." Hearing someone yell about masturbation is hardly "intensely irrational," it's just gross and weird.

I see the English language has lost another word. It can join "literally" and "ironic" in the afterlife of words that used to have meaning and now mean nothing at all.

What if the phrase in question really was uttered by Arnold Schwarzeneggar, who has just been elected the governor of California? Would that not have the irrational reality of a dream?

I think the "surreality" of experience is somewhat subjective. It felt surreal to me (as if I was dreaming) when I got married and when my daughter was born but those are both perfectly ordinary experiences.

I don't the occasionally hyperbolic use of the term "surreal" is really on a par with the categorically incorrect use of the word "literally" in statements like "Watching the Passion was literally a kick in the stomach."

[blowero]

Originally Posted by Aesiron

Was it said in a thick Austrian accent?

First, ve are allowing ze masturbating in der hotel room, zen it is license for marriage of same sex. Maybe ze next ting ees another city zat hands out licenses for assault weapons and someone else hands out die licenses for selling drugs, und dis und dat und tings of dis nature. I mean you can't do that.

[Philster]

Look, it's obviously tied to George Bush, the popularity of being gay and the Passion of the Christ.

I find it literally ironic on a surreal level that this could happen.

Either that or an ignorant SUV driver ran the dude over befor he could finish the word 'fucker'.

Bill O'reilly is behind all of this!

[Kalhoun]

I never thought I'd find a reason to relay this story, but damned if I didn't right here on the Straight Dope.

My ex and I were split up, but we were sharing a room at a boarding house. He was seriously involved with another woman and I was still in love with him ( ).

So, I'm locked out of the house and had to go in through the window. The ex is in bed, (heh) MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK! I walk in and catch him in the act. He tells me the new girlfriend is floozing around on him.

WOOOOO! I was getting even like a MOTHER FUCK!!!!

[Morbo]

Surreal would be if he followed it up with "GOTCHA YA!!!!"

[Lute Skywatcher]

I tried to post this earlier but the hamsters must have been on strike or something.

I once spent a couple of weeks in a mental health facility, this particular facility was in a renovated home and served as an alternative to hospitalization. One day, as I walked past an upstairs bathroom, I heard a voice say, "Oooh, it's so big!" in an obvious falsetto. I recognized the voice and nearly said, "Hey, Brendon, keep it down in there!"

[troub]

In other news, a man was arrested today on charges of distributing misleading phrasebooks to foreign travellers. . .

Poorly remember Monty Python sketch

[samclem]

So, you're upset with the person's verbal ejaculation, if I understand....

[MaxTheVool]

So what precisely was Hans "Yippy-kai-yay, Motherfuck" Gruber doing in Sacramento, anyhow?

[lieu]

Want some pie?

No thanks, I just Oedipus.

[Lobsang]

lieu I am cuming to associate you with sexual threads/posts.

[OpalCat]

Originally Posted by MsRobyn

I don't think I want pie from that guy.

Robin

It's the guy from that American Pie movie, isn't it!

[Morrigoon]

Originally Posted by troub

In other news, a man was arrested today on charges of distributing misleading phrasebooks to foreign travellers. . .

Poorly remember Monty Python sketch

All your hovercraft are belong to eels....

[Larry Mudd]

Masturbating like a motherfuck is not surreal.

That, my friend, clearly falls under the rubric of Dada.

Now, if he'd said "Whoo! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE AN EXQUISITE CORPSE, I AM ALL OVER AMORPHOUS BLOBS, PROPPED UP BY CRUDE CRUTCHES, AND COVERED WITH ANTS! ANTS THAT LOOK LIKE TINY VAGINAS, IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY!" that would be surreal.

[HDS]

Just wanted to say that while waiting on a customer yesterday I had a visual of Ah-nold doing just that while saying "mast-tah-bating lak a mudderfokk" and started giggling. He probably thought I had tampered with his order.

[cowgirl]

A friend once reported to me that a friend of hers boasted of having the skill of 'masturbating like a demon.'

(This was even more funny because she had forgotten that I knew the friend in question.)

Which led us to wonder ... first of all, who isn't good at masturbating? I mean, really.

Second, in what manner do demons masturbate, and how would she know?

So many questions ... !

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by lieu

Want some pie?

No thanks, I just Oedipus.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

[Elza B]

Originally Posted by Smeghead

Only on the SDMB could a thread titled, "Woooo!!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCK!!!" turn into a discussion on semantics.

I'm covering for our receptionist today, and I swear to God, if I answer the phone one more time with "Good morning, *snuffle, snuffle, giggle, giggle* Company Name, *snort, giggle, snort*", I'm so going to get fired.

Ava

[luluBahrain]

I am just poking my head in (heheh, I said head and poking) to say hello to the only other Sacramento Doper I have ever seen. Hellooooooooooo

[tiny ham]

At least he comes when he calls.

[Shodan]

Originally Posted by Larry Mudd

Masturbating like a motherfuck is not surreal.

This is correct.

It would only be surreal if it was heard in response to:

"Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. It has been six weeks since my last confession."


Regards,
Shodan