A modern martyrdom gone horribly wrong.
He’s never going to live this one down. For the rest of his life, it’ll be his cross to bear.
Hmmm. Much as I’d like to chalk this event up to “those wacky fundies,” I’m going to have to call this one “sad” rather than “funny.” This man was obviously (and I say “obviously,” as it was clearly a suicide attempt) mentally unbalanced. In that kind of state, you’re just not going to be rational about things. We can step back and say, “Ha, he thought he was going to get closer to God by crucifying himself.” Would anyone be laughing if he’d attempted suicide in any other manner?
Frankly, I think this man deserves help, not derision.
I found the pictures… both of them!
He’d better not try to blame the Jews for this!
What the hell? Hasn’t he heard of Velcro?
Yeah I gotta go with Duke on this one.
Poor fucked up guy.
I feel sorry for the guy, too. He’s clearly mentally ill and needs help.
But it’s still pretty fucking funny.
“It was unclear whether the man was seeking assistance for his injury or help in nailing down his other hand.”
So you are favor of the police nailing the other hand down? 
Current archeological research says that driving the nail through the hand is a bad idea. Keeps tearing out, don’t you know. Best to nail through the wrist. You still need an assistant, however. Do not try this at home.
Did he have any plans to set the cross upright in the ground, or was he planning on bleeding to death from the wrists?
It’s obviously sad and tragic when someone is in enough pain that they want to take their own life. His pain shoudn’t be a source of humor. The method however is a different story. The dark side of me does see the humor here. I mean, come on, 10 seconds of logical thought would have enlightened him to the fact that this way just wasn’t going to work.
But hey, maybe it was a blessing in disguise. It wasn’t successful. Maybe he can get the help that he needs now.
I don’t know what kind of therapy is going to stop him from being a dumbass.
So, being mentally ill=“dumbass”? :rolleyes:
No, thinking you’re going to be able to nail your hand to a board when the other hand is already nailed down=dumbass. Therapy might help the mentally ill part…
There are plenty of mentally ill people with no inclination to nail themselves to a cross. And there are plenty of people who nail themselves to crosses who aren’t mentally ill. I see it on CNN every Easter. Still, after reading the article, my vote is sorrow. He was inside his living room, with a note, it doesn’t seem like a stunt.
I’m now trying to think of fun and creative ways to get the job done. Aside from asking a friend to help you out, I mean. (A true friend will give you a hand in this. Or something like that.)
My first thought is to use a couple of nail guns with some sort of remote trigger. Put a dummy on the cross (a dummy other than you) in the requisite position and aim and fire the nail guns until you get them just right.
Then, climb up onto the cross (switching out the dummies) and fire away! Voila! You now are crucified and the cross is in the upright position! It’s very exciting.
Put the nails in first from the back so that the points are still protruding. Impale wrists/hands as desired.
He could have saved himself a lot of trouble by following these handy tips.