If you’ve seen Johnny Carson, you know how to play. Carnac holds a sealed envelope to his forehead, and listens to the spirit world for a response. He states the response, and then opens the envelope to reveal the question. Here’s an example…
Carnac: They’ve all moved to India.
Envelope: What happened to Bush’s 2 million new jobs?
Say what the envelope contains for the post above yours, and then offer a Carnac for the next poster.
Okay, ready? First envelope, please…
Carnac: I’ll take Manhattan.
Q: What did Donald Trump say when told he could retire to his own private island?
Next A: The Christian Science Monitor
meek
March 29, 2004, 11:16pm
3
Envelope: The guy who supervises the monastery laboratory.
Carnac: The Straight Dope.
Post-cokehead George Bush
The Sun Also Rises
What happens after your daughter-in-law wakes up?
Q: What is the age of the next poster’s sex partner?
Q: Who will be performing at next year’s Superbowl halftime show?
(Mrs. Lagomorph would like a word with you racer72 )
What was the title of the unsuccessful Ketchup Kama Sutra.
A : Albert Einstein and J. Lo.
Q: What’s the only couple weirder than Ben and J. Lo.
A: Pepsi, Coke, RC.
Envelope: What are three forms of water pollution?
Carnac: Weapons of mass destruction.
meek
March 30, 2004, 12:01pm
11
Envelope: What does the National Hockey League call Todd Bertuzzi’s fists?
Q. Who was recently arrested for attacking someone at the airport?
Next answer.
Carnac: The higher, the fewer.
Which answer makes the least sense?
---------------------------next answer-------------------------
Carnac: 99 bottles of beer on the wall.
What does Diana Ross leave behind when she goes for a drive?
Next one:
Four monkeys and a bungee cord.
Trunk
March 30, 2004, 1:44pm
15
Which answer makes the least sense?
---------------------------next answer-------------------------
Carnac: 99 bottles of beer on the wall.
What does Mickey Rourke call a night cap?
Chitty-chitty bang bang.
Trunk:
Chitty-chitty bang bang.
Answer: What happens when you put firecrakers in the toilet?
Trunk
March 30, 2004, 2:58pm
17
What runs through a gay guy’s mind when he sees sexy twins walking in front of him?
[sorry for self-replying]
How does Whitney Houston refer to her last crack-free week?
Carnac: Superbowl.
Where’s the best place to see boobage action on network television?
Envelope: You’re fired.
Envelope: What was the message in GWBs last birthday card to Richard Clarke?
Carnac: What goes up, must come down.
Trunk
March 30, 2004, 3:54pm
20
BJMoose:
Envelope: What was the message in GWBs last birthday card to Richard Clarke?
Carnac: What goes up, must come down.
Envelope: Why do Pfizer’s sales of Viagra keep improving?
Carnac: The Curse of the Mummy