So last night, I’m flipping channels on cable at a friend’s house while trying to fall asleep. And I discover THIS masterpiece.
Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String.
Here’s the “plot” :
The wizard Smirnoff sends a handful of Throbbits (Dildo Saggins, Horny, and Spam) to destroy the G-String (one to bind them, huh?). Along the way, they have to do battle for the evil wizard Sourass. Sourass, as his name implies, casts spells by farting on people. The jokes (I’m assuming there are supposed to BE jokes) fall flat. The acting is below-porn quality. And that’s saying something.
I’m one of those people that are willing to give a flier to really cheesy movies, especially if the sex scenes are okay.
Guess what? This was phoned in, too. The sex was forced. Again, porn-style sex seems more realistic. It was 85% of each person rubbing themselves on their hips. The nipple-grabbing and gyrating couldn’t have been more forced if it were at gunpoint.
I understand that there are people who will watch anything (hell, I watched the damn thing last night. But how in the bloody hell did this things get green-lighted?