Best bad films

I figured I may as well start a topic to get some reccomendations and other’s opinions on this, it felt a little… wrong to put this stuff in “most laughable film” because this is about films so bad they’re good, not films so pitiful they’re sad. So just tell us your favorite bad films and why you like them.

So, let the favorites begin!

If there’s any Aussies here, they will no doubt know of SBS’ classics on Saturday at around eleven. My favorite? A film known as “Ghost Vixen.”

The whole story of Ghost Vixen is about a deadly ghost women who needs to kill one hundred virgin men born on the same date and, you guessed it, our “hero” is next up from 99. But his ugly girlfriend when he was young, who he claimed to save his “first time” for, has something to say about that. Armed with magic bags and a face that not even a mother could love (nah, she ain’t really that ugly, they make her out to be in the film), she does her best to save the day.

Some of my favorite scenes include when a girl who fancies him gets pissed off at his hiring of a whore and casts one of the three magic bags of punishment, given to her by her father. Anyway, this particular one makes his dick so big that if he were to wear pants it would be just shy of the end of his trousers. Seems great, unfortunetly the next day in the office he was to see a bunch of spunky models in very scant clothing being used for their next ad campain. Needless to say, his “leg” flies right up and knocks down the table “it’s a cramp!” he cries. Then he gets a leg massage by one of the members of the board, despite his cries that he’s fine.

Another great moment was when he hired a hooker and he had a huge spell of bad luck. He chose all these different places for them to have sex. First of all, he parks his car near a football field or something and finds a gang war going on. He goes to all these different places, which I’m afraid I don’t remember (wish I taped it), and finally goes home. Well, his bad luck holds up. The whore gets her hair caught in his fly, glasses break and, if I remember correctly, the roof falls down. The final insult, two thugs bust in which he sees after getting out from the toiler and we hear a dialog something like this:

Hero: “What do you want?”
Thug #1: “Money and sex”
Thug #2: “And we already got the money”
Hero: “Okay, just take her, I already paid. No rough stuff, alright?”
Thug #1: “No, we want you”

I don’t even have to continue. Afterwards, he finds those little bags that the girl who was living with him used on him, a “truth” one. Anyone, the only guy he told about the “buggery” incident and his boss are the next two to cop his fury. He uses the bag on the boss who tells him what a bad worker he is and only keeps him hired becase “he got him laid” (noticing a preoccupation with sex here?). Next up, he tackles his mate who tells him how he really feels, and trust me, it wasn’t flattering. Finally he says “oh yeah, and about that buggery thing, I told everyone.”

That was a classic, if anyone finds it, it’s a top watch. I just wish I could show you some of the dodgy effects or some of the top silly moments. It’s hi-larry-arse.

I might add some of my older favorites later…

Also, can anyone tell me if “Bad Taste” (Written/dircted/produced/etc. by Peter Jackson, yes, him) is any good? Not a big splatter fan, but a lover of comedy/horror.

I give (again) my all-time favorite:

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

And I’m not sure if it’s really bad or a good satiric movie.

Starship Troopers!

I’m very fond of Carnival of Souls, a 1960s black-and-white horror film that (I believe) has amassed some cult popularity in spite of the fact that it’s quite bad. It has the absolute worst, most incompetent foley effects of any movie I’ve ever seen in my life. But as bad movies go, it’s very watchable, preferably at about 2 a.m. It has that surreal, no-one-is-awake-right-now-in-the-whole-world-except-me feeling to it.

The 'Burbs…silly fun!

Can’t Stop the Music. 1980.

Starring Steve Guttenburg, Valerie Perrine, Bruce Jenner, and the Villiage People. Directed by Nancy Walker, that old bat from Rhoda. It was the story of the Villiage People, and how they became stars. In the movie, the cop really was a cop (a meter maid). The construction worker, the biker…you get the picture. Phillipe the indian always walked aroud with at least one feather in his head. The gayest looking one? Bruce Jenner in daisy dukes and a cut-off shirt exposing his midsection. Valerie Perrine’s characte was fond of saying “It’s the 80’s,” like the sexual revolution was about to really go into full throttle.

This movie was so bad that even gay people hated it. For all its campy-ness there is no reference to homosexuality. Even the Villiage people are seen eying Valerie. Time has made all the references sillier than they ever were in 1980. Certainly an anachronistic must for bad movie nite.

No doubt Killer Klowns from Outer Space is one of my favorite B-movies, er, C-movies. K-movies?

But Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death tops it. Shannon Tweed! Karen Mistal! Adrienne Barbeau!

And Bill Maher never looked lovelier.

If you go up a step, Big Trouble in Little China is ridiculously good fun. And good fun ridiculously.

Bring it On. Kirsten Dunst. Eliza Dusku [sic]. Cheerleading outfits and subtle in-jokes (the band plays for the cheerleaders instead of the football team). What’s not to like?

Krull. A hot for the 80s redheaded princess imprisoned in a teleporting castle as her love forms a motley crew, finds a razor tipped boomerang, and fights 80s special effects.

A good link describing Can’t Stop the Music. Full of piss and satire.

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

This film has enriched my life in so many ways. Well, I guess it’s actually just provided my friends and me with several bon mots to be tossed like so many croutons into everyday conversation, but still that’s nothing to be sniffed at.

For example,

“Wimmen pey me… to give dem pleasure”

“Scrotum licker! Ball sack!”

and

“You’re the best man-gina in my he-stable!”

It also brought the long-overdue term “man-whore” – or, more formally, “he-bitch man-whore” – to a wider audience. Truly a seminal work.

Yes! This is one of those movies that I thought was really bad after first seeing it, but for some reason I watched it again and laughed a lot more and now my friends and I have it half memorized. My favorite line is

“That’s a huge bitch!”

In a similar vein, The Ladies Man has some pretty funny stuff, too.

I still need to see “Gay Niggers From Outer Space.”

Anybody ever see “FLESH GORDON”? It is so bad it is good! Like the parody of Emperor Ming (in the filmhe is Emperoro Wang), and Mongo is “Porno”.
The best on is where “Flesh” gets attacked by women who tearhis clothes off!
Haven’tseen it for a while…is it availableon DVD?

Yes it is. And there even is a sequel : Flesh Gordon meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders

I had two friends initially insist that I was just making Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter up when I happily sent them reviews. You really can’t go wrong with Jesus Christ and Mexican wrestling superstar El Santo teaming up to battle an insidious vampire plot to harvest the skins of lesbians so they can walk freely in sunlight.

Deathstalker 2. A funny, funny movie, only appreciated fully if you understand that they KNEW that they were making a silly movie. I laughed and laughed and laughed…You have to love a movie that sets up an entire character for a Hawaii 5-0 joke. Far better than Deathstalker 1 OR 3, though some shmuck stuck footage from #1 into it to pad it out.

Hot Rods From Hell. Classic crap. A work of art. A thing of beauty.

The Trial of Billy Jack is, hands down, the best bad movie of all time.

I have posted this before, and I am not prepared to brook any argument.

Gymkata is in second place.

Regards,
Shodan

One of my alltime favourites is Midnight Madness . It’s a zany scavenger hunt caper involving several teams–roughly divided into nerds, jocks, dummies, & blue-collars, IIRC–pulling an all-niter around Los Angeles. I love it for its time-warped 1980 feel, the great cameos (Michael J. Fox and PeeWee Herman), the prehistoric un-PC humour and the shameless silliness of it all. Takes me back to a time when dumb movies could still be fun movies.

Say what you want about any other bad movie, but only one has inspired me to search E-Bay so that I could waste my cash on its double-length vinyl soundtrack.

The Pirate Movie.

[sub]Keep on pumpin’, blowin’…[/sub]