fruitbat mentioned mentioned that there’s an over-abundance of male Dopers attempting to boost thier egos by overtly bragging about their penis size in posts poorly disguised as questions. So, here’s the “Ask the guy with a really small dick” thread. (I am the guy with a really small dick.)
Ask away.
I know all the answers. Thank you, though.
OK, how small are we talking here?
Masturbation or funnel?
What kind of car do you drive??
Mangetout:
About one inch long when flaccid, or four when erect. If it’s cold out, the thing nearly disapears amongst scrotal folds.
Necro Romancer:
Eewww.
RandomLetters:
I don’t have a car. I take the subway. NYC Subway trains are 600 feet long.
Now I know why in China the trains are so much longer 
He must have really been trying hard to get his point noticed!
Has anyone ever complained to you that (other than aesthetically, I mean)it wasn’t big enough for them.
No complaints so far.
Then it isn’t too small. If it does the job, it’s big enough.
I hate to break it to you… four inches isn’t what I would term “really small”. If average if 5-5 1/2 (there seems to be some debate even on Kinsey) then you’re about an inch under.
Regardless of that you are indeed under the published average and, from what I’ve read so far, you’re quite ok with that. Which I think is always cool. It’s all together too easy for any of us human beings to feel less than thrilled about anything that’s considered a positive trait we’re less than average in.
So… questions…
At what age did you realize that your erection was smaller than average?
While you seem happy with it now, was there a time you were worried about being smaller than average and what events/therapy/books/whatever helped you get past that stage?
Have past partners even mentioned it, have you mentioned it to them before getting to the point they would find out for themselves?
I’m not sure if there’s a published average for circumference… how do you feel you compare to average in that department?
It’s not the size of the pencil, it’s the way you sign your name.
At least that’s what I keep telling myself. 
Well I never said it was too small.
Hmm. I don’t recall ever having an epiphany about it. I never really actively engaged in dick comparisons when I was a kid.
As a teenager I was self-conscious (no big surprise there) but then I was already dealing with being fat and relatively unpopular, so my penis never seemed a big priority. I think simple growing up and maturity has helped my self-image more than any particular event.
I’ve discussed it with some past partners, and none have seemed to mind. It has been an inspiration to improve my non-dickular sexual technique.
Well I’m not sure what the average circumference is; based on my (admittedly limited) observations, I don’t seem to be well endowed in the girth department either.
Personally, I think that girth has more to do with pleasure than length…JMHO. Beyond that, it’s more important to know what to do with what you have.
I expected this thread to be different.
I was expecting it to be an “Ask the guy with the easy-to-guess password.” Or “Ask the guy who posts from a public terminal and doesn’t log out when he’s done.” 
So are you saying you have superior oral skills?
Wow… and I thought I was being brave to discuss the “bottle brush”. You have my respect friedo.
Can you get her off?
I’ve sometimes wondered about this: Ever see those adult flicks where the guy has some monster 14-inch cock with the diameter of the business-end of a baseball bat, and some porn starlet has to deep-throat that thing? I saw one in college where, I swear, the woman must have been able to unhinge her jaw or something. Her lips were completely distended. It wasn’t arousing; it was like some alien nightmare. I don’t think I’d be asking God for a meat-plow of that magnitude. In fact, I have it on good authority that many-a-girl would demure if given the opportunity to insert said organ into any of the usual places.
That being said, I want eight inches, dammit. Impressive, yet painless. Me, I’m very much in the average range (somewhere around a six-incher). One g.f. even confided in me that a relationship with a very well-hung (not freakishly so) guy left her a bit nostalgic for big dick. Gee, thanks honey. Of course, idiot me, I had to ask.
Ok, I’ll bite.
What size are your hands?
What size shoe do you wear?