Alas, the day had to come. We just can’t take it anymore. It’s time to admit you were right all along. Everything you said about the dangers of legalizing same-sex marriage were true.
In the three and a half years since the Netherlands legalized gay marriage, their society has crumbled. Amsterdam, reduced to a fiery wasteland by flames and brimstone and plague-bearing angels, learned its lesson first. When that meteorite hit the North Sea Reclamation project, there could be no more denying it. Please, call off your God and make the earthquakes, tornadoes, and hurricanes stop, before anyone else dies.
And what about poor Belgium? Who would have thought that after only one year, Belgian courts would force every citizen to marry their sister, a dog, a budgy, and a corpse? You did. That’s right, and we refused to listen.
I write now from the rubble of what was once Canada. Just as the Homosexual Conspiracy™ hoped, the birth rate dropped almost instantly to zero. Now, homosexual press gangs hunt down the few remaining heterosexuals for extreme conversion therapy. What have we done?
And like you, I watched the photos on the news of the horror that was once Massachussets, where society unravelled in a record-breaking three days, and now the whole state is populated by illiterate hunter-gatherers, stalking wild animals among the ruins of Harvard.
We should have known. You tried to warn us. I guess a lot of us hjust thought that Western Civilization was more resilient. And now our great civilization, founded by the ancient Greeks, built up by emperors such as Hadrian, producing such great creators as Michelangelo and Oscar Wilde – now it has all crumbled.
Now we humbly submit ourselves to the forces of the conservative Christianity, which has been a force for peace and order since Creation.
