All right!! All right!!!
I cave! Here, take my credit card!! Please!!!
Just PLEASE get all this ignorance out of my head!!!
-LastCall
p.s. I feel smarter already. Wallet feels lighter though…
Welcome aboard.
I don’t think you’re actually supposed to send them your credit card.
Wha??
CRAP!!
runs out to see if the postman has come already
Welcome to the Boards, LastCall.
~waves~ Hi LastCall. Sounds like you’re going to fit in great around here. 
You know… the storage fee for extracted ignorance is an additional $15.00 per month.
You can make the checks payable to me. I don’t take Visa.
Can’t I just… I dunno… donate it to science or something?
Or maybe we can post a picture of it right next to the subscription page:
“Look at that. You don’t want THAT floating around in your head do you? Now gimmee your Credit Card number. Quick! Quick! Its getting bigger…”
:: bolts Igno-Vac to LastCall’s noggin ::
Don’t worry…the really excruciating pain only lasts two or three hours. It’ll only be very painful after that.
:: inserts earpugs, flips switch ::
Oh yes, welcome aboard!
:smack:
Ummm…someone wanna give me a hand getting these small, ugly-cute dogs outta my ears?
:smack:
Hal,
BWAHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!
Thats got to be one of the funniest typos I have ever seen. Just the visual of you with two little dogs poking out of your ears, feet and tails kicking and waving madly, cracks me up to no end!!
Hmm… on another note:
BAND NAME!!
Slow down, Hal. You must start slowly, take notes, ask questions. You are trying to write the definitive book, aren’t you?
Well, LastCall, it’s about time you got here. What took you so long? And who said you were allowed to say “Band Name!” just yet??? 
Mind you, I wouldn’t know you from Adam, but I’m glad you’re here. Welcome.
So when does LastCall’s initiation start?
I’ve got the 60 boxes of Jell-O and the 40 pounds of melted chocolate … does anyone remember where we left the whips? Where’s the Velcro jumpsuit? Was it cleaned after …well, you know, last time?
Who’s been taking care of the goats? We can use HalBriston’s earpugs if the goats aren’t handy.
C’omn, people, let’s get going, these things don’t start themselves!
In a similar vein, this is a post from AskNott over in ATMB.
Something else I thought was really funny recently was this headline from the Onion:
Explosion at Heinz Factory Not as Bad as it Looks
Something I learned from the SDMB was that some people (like me) have a funny smell behind their ears, kinda like Parmesan cheese. It’s genetic so you can’t do much about it, but at least you can stop scrubbing yourself raw there trying to make it stop smelling.
Welcome to the SDMB. I hope you will enjoy your stay here.
Ponder,
Sorry I am late. I had to spend time gathering up a lot of ignorance so the $14.95 would be worth it. I mean, ‘kinda’ ignorant is okay, but I just couldn’t justify the outlay of cash until I was really REALLY SUPER ULTRA ignorant.
As for saying Band Name, after much thought I think I am going to change it to “LastCall and the Earpugs” ™. It’ll be me playing a kazoo with little jumpsuited pugs jumping around in the background holding sparklers.
Whatdayathink?
If you still think it’s too early for me to call Band Name, I’ll retract, but then no one gets to see the little pugs in sequined jumpsuits…
Hey! I want my three green ones too! I paid my money and I want the full treatment. Oh, and don’t worry. I brought my own goat.
Oh, so that explains why I have a craving for pizza after reading your posts.
Welcome LastCall. Bibliocat I’ve got the lard and the bacon grease should be delivered shortly so we’re almost ready to begin the initiation.
Donating or otherwise using the ignorance might work for one or two people, but then what do we do? Storage will soon become prohibitive. I suggest we start a composting program.
Sorry, guys, I was supposed to clean out the Initiation Tub™ after last time, but I forgot and I don’t have a flame-thrower handy. Can we do this tomorrow?