Hot Chicks: Goatees Are Just A Prop That You Fall For

The BBQ Pit
1

Maybe it’s just the area I live in, but I’m sick and tired of seeing hot chicks with boyfriend with goatees!!

In other words, most of the time when I see a hot-looking woman (usually young-18 to 28 years), they’re with a guy sporting some kind of custom facial hair, usually a goatee. What cracks me up is that if you visualize these guys without facial hair, most of them come across as POSERS!!

In fact, I tried a goatee for awhile, out of frustration, and realized that I, too, had become a POSER! In effect, I was using a prop to blatantly attract young women to me. And that, dear young naive ladies, is all a goatee is (most of the time): A PROP!

It is just an aid, like smartass talkin’, lean abs, bullshittin’ or muscled torso: To help a guy identify himself as an exciting “bad boy”, enough to fool block-headed young women as yourself into being superficially attracted to him and, therefore, having sex with him.

It’s hilarious to look at most of the guys sporting a goatee, realizing that they HAVE NO BUSINESS wearing one! Shave off their beard and you’ll see your standard nice guy or dorky guy. But they don’t piss me off, because they’re just playing the game. It’s the stupid women who fall for the props first, instead of the man first!

Attention Hot Chicks: The hotter you appear, the less a man is interested in your mind and the more he is interested in your body! If you’re all about sex, then go for it, slut! If you want to attract someone who’s genuinely interested in YOU and not just your body, then don’t wear clothes that advertise your breasts or ass. And look beyond the superficial stuff, or the outer appearance of a guy for whom you feel attraction.

2

Are goatees back in? I just can’t keep up these days.

3

Have you tried shaving “BITTER” into your facial hair? Women appreciate forwardness and ingenuity!

4

I’ve had a goatee for many many years, and it hasn’t attracted anybody to me in any way whatsoever.

5

Don’t worry… Mine started coming in once I hit puberty.
You’ll get there.

(hairless, for now) Chin up, little buddy.

6

So a full beard that I don’t bother to trim very often should attract more hot youg women, right? I think there’s something wrong with this one…

7

Hmmm…I thought this topic sounded familiar.

I think perhaps the more interesting question here is why you are so interested in other men’s facial hair.

8

Women are attracted to goatees? News to me. I was under the impression that men have facial hair because they either want facial hair or they don’t like to shave.

I’m not entirely sure why my husband has worn a goatee since he got out of the Navy, but it’s certainly not because I find it attractive. Personally, I prefer a very trimmed moustache or no facial hair whatsoever. But apparently it floats his boat, so whatever.

My impression is that the OP is projecting. Get over it.

9

Or, these (like the goatee) could be traits that cause a woman (or gay man) to be physically attracted to a man. You know, traits that make a man desirable. I like men with lean abs and a muscled torso. Boy, do I ever! But I’m not being tricked into being attracted to the guy–these are physical traits that I admire. And I won’t just have sex with a guy because he has these traits. [Goatees don’t do so much for me personally. I guess you’re right about the smartass talkin’ and the bullshittin’.] But thanks for assuming that all hot young women are stupid, naive, and easily manipulated.

10

So… what do I need to do to have business wearing a goatee?

Seriously, I know lots of people who wear goatees, and they are all different types of people. I don’t think any of them (including me) wear them to look like a “badass” or to attract women.

I wear mine because I look like a twelve-year-old when I’m clean-shaven and because I hate shaving. If it’s supposed to attract women it isn’t working.

11

I don’t think there’s anything intrinsically wrong with a goatee, but most of the guys I see who have them exude that “I’m a badass” asshole vibe. Certainly not all, but most. And you know what I’m talking about - those guys who walk down the street with their chest puffed out, their arms held away from their sides, and muscles flexed.

12

The MythBusters guy would be a good example of a goatee-wearing man who’s not really trying to look like a badass. There are certainly lots of exceptions to the “badass” rule.

13

DUH. What? Do you honestly think we are interested in anything other than their money?

14

My goatee landed me a hot Japanese chick. I married her before she could see through my pretentious superficiality/diabolical cunning. Eight years and one son later, she still hasn’t seen beyond my thin veneer of shallow self-regard. Maybe if I get another tatoo…

15

Hold on, I recognise the tone of the OP: you’re the guy responsible for this:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=56269438&postcount=1

Dennis Never Flushes The Toilet, I think.

16

Ahhh, it’s a 1920’s style mind control beard.

Say, by chance, have you been having trouble getting laid?

17

Let’s try that link again, shall we?

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5626943&postcount=1

18

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, dude?

What is it with guys who can’t figure women out suddenly becoming authorities on what women want/desire/lust/are? (and if you’re not getting a woman, then you’re obviously not able to figure them out - note the OP didn’t say that anywhere, it’s just a given). In one thread they give advice to others, and in another thread they don’t understand why “hot” women aren’t falling all over them. Hmmm.

Some women like goatees. Some don’t.
Some women are hot to you. Some aren’t.
Maybe… just maybe… you’re not hot to them!

I don’t know, maybe women still don’t have opinions. Do we vote yet, or anything like that? I missed the memo, I think :wink:

19

[Kenshin]Aru?[/Kenshin]

I wear a goatee because I live in a very cold area. It has yet to help me get any and I’m not by any means a tool or trying to look like a badass.

Alcohol is your friend. Alcohol plus your computer equals bad.

Let me guess. You consider yourself a nice guy, right?

20

Pal, I don’t appreciate you sharing trade secrets. The goatee is about all I have going for me.

Anyway, you sound like an ass.

I take it back, you’re a fucking idiot.