It doesn’t hide your double chin. It doesn’t make you look young and hip.
It makes you look ridiculous.
Are you dissin’ my face patch, man? It’s the only hair on my head!
Ok, that, and the eyebrows.
And the fuzz on my earlobes. …And the annoying nostril hairs that make me sneeze. Oh, and the stubble, which I like to pretend makes me look young, hip, and extreme.
I do, regularly, but my wife keeps on insisting I grow it back. I don’t like what she’s implying. 
I think in most cases goatees are an ugly hangover from the 1990’s
But… I don’t have a double chin! I am young! I have big hips!
My SO has a goatee, but only because that is the only place that hair grows on his face.
I’ll let Peter Gabriel know, next time I see him. (Or is that who you meant?)
Not true. In fact, I got hit on earlier today because of it.
Besides, better arguments in favor of shaving it have been attempted and have failed.
it… doesn’t?
rats.
The OP finally got to me. I refuse to grow a goatee any longer.
From this point forward, I shall grow a van Dyke instead.
With a face as ugly as mine, the less of it visible in public the better.
Scissors wasn’t talking to you. On you it looks good. 
lo…me, too. I have that Fred Flintstone permanent five o’clock shadow, even though I shave really closely. I have pasty white skin and dark hair, so that doesn’t help.
I dunno. Must be a matter of personal taste. I think my husbands goatee is one of the sexiest things about him, second only to his cute little butt
I wear it because I like it. I’ve had one for years. No double chin. No desire to look young (a gray goatee doesn’t look young), and no desire to look hip (heaven forfend).
So your assumptions are wrong, your fashion sense is misguided, and your comment is uncalled-for.
Anything else?
Well. Since a complete stranger on the internet who has never met me thinks so, I suppose it must be true. I’m shaving tomorrow…
Yeah. No more jeans shorts. And the sideburns? Gone.
And get some hedge clippers and trim your nose hairs. You could be hiding several forest dwellers in there.
I’ll let the back hair go.
For now.
Ditto.
And anyway, if I get rid of it, the goat died in vain.
Whew! I’m safe. I don’t own jeans shorts, I haven’t had sideburns since 1978, I keep my nosehairs neatly trimmed, and my back is really hard to reach with the razor. Now can I get my “Runs With Scissors Fashion 99 Percenter” button?
I’m in 100% agreement. I’m-a keeping my soul patch however.