Hot Girls Love Goatee: Statistically Proven

In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)
#1

So last night I was at a demolition derby and I counted the following:

Young, hot women with guys with goatees: 25 or 70%
Young, hot women with guys without goatees: 11 or 30%

Young, hot blonde women with guys with goatees: 14 or 64%
Young, hot blonde women with guys without goatees: 8 or 36%

Young, hot brunette or other color women with guys w/goatees: 9 or 75%
Young, hot brunette or other color women with guys w/o goatees: 3 or 25%

Young, hot women with guys with prescription glasses: 2 or 5%
Young, hot women with guys without prescription glasses: 34 or 95%

Clearly, if I want style over substance, I need to grow a goatee and get eye surgery as soon as financially possible!

#2

Whew! At first I thought it said “Hot Girls Love Goatse”

#3

Please amend your poll: It should be “Hot Girls who attend demolition derbies Love Goatee: Statistically Proven”.

That said, I have a goatee. My wife is hot. She doesn’t go to demolition derbies. Nor does she love goatse. I hope.

#4

I think your sample is too small. I love glasses and dislike goatees.

#5

Eye surgery isn’t necessary. You can get contacts.

#6

You obviously never saw my goatee neighbor. Or his wife.

#7

I’ve been called “hot” on occasion- and I prefer guys without facial hair. Very rarely have I seen a guy who looks better with a goatee than without. I also have nothing against glasses.

#8

No comment on my being hot or not.

I like a goatee on a dark-haired man. Blond or red goatees just don’t work for me, but dark goatees really really do.

There are some shapes of faces, notably the very round ones, where a goatee is not much help. Maybe not harm done, but not an improvement.

YMMV

#9

Repeat experiment at Bolshoi, compare results.

#10

I fear that the goatee is on its way to becoming the next mullet.

Three more surveys:

Count guys with both goatees and mullets.

Count guys who used to have mullets but now have goatees (very high correlation in the 30 and older crowd).

#11

Or it could be that the men picked up the hot women before they grew the goatees. The hot women then demanded the men grow the goatee as a deterrent to scare off other hot women. Marking their territory as it were.

#12

I have no face fungus and a hot girlfriend.

[cheesy Japanese martial artist accent]
Ha! I skew your statistics now!
[/cheesy Japanese martial artist accent]

#13

Does not compute. :confused: Were 2 of the women with guys with goatees bald? (Get your minds out of the gutter, I meant bald-headed.)

How many clean-shaven men were with women with goatees?

#14

This is purely a drive-by post to comment that when I saw the thread title on the forum index, I read it as Hot Girls Love Goatse… and did a doubletake! :smiley:

#15

I have:

  1. A young, hot blonde wife.
  2. A goatee.
  3. Prescription glasses.

Blammo! goes your database.

#16

I have:

  1. A young, hot redheaded wife.
  2. A goatee.
  3. Prescription glasses.

Zot! goes the theories supporting your database.

#17

I have:

  1. A distinct LACK of a hot girlfriend
  2. Goatee
  3. Prescription glasses

I don’t know HOW that pans out. Apparently, from what I can tell, the prescription glasses cancel out the goatee.

#18

As follow up to my observation at the demolition derby: The next morning, I shaved only such that the outline of a beginning goatee was evident. Later that day, I did some errands.

At the grocery store in the parking lot, a young female employee (maybe 18, 19, 20 yrs old) was pushing shopping carts my direction and stopped to talk to me as I was putting groceries in my car. Never happend before. I don’t think I came across differently, attitude-wise.

Coincidence? Perhaps, but the scientific experiment shall continue…(And I do wear glasses…I’d be curious to see if I get any reactions wearing contacts).

#19

For some reason every time I see a goatee I think “pubic hair”.

Seems like around here it’s mostly the pre-middle-aged-losing-their-hair crowd that goes for the goatee.

#20

I’m glad I’m not the only one who read it as that!

I hate a goatee on a man. Hey! That means you’re calling me ugly! :eek: :wink: