Hot Girls Love Goatee: Statistically Proven

So last night I was at a demolition derby and I counted the following:

Young, hot women with guys with goatees: 25 or 70%
Young, hot women with guys without goatees: 11 or 30%

Young, hot blonde women with guys with goatees: 14 or 64%
Young, hot blonde women with guys without goatees: 8 or 36%

Young, hot brunette or other color women with guys w/goatees: 9 or 75%
Young, hot brunette or other color women with guys w/o goatees: 3 or 25%

Young, hot women with guys with prescription glasses: 2 or 5%
Young, hot women with guys without prescription glasses: 34 or 95%

Clearly, if I want style over substance, I need to grow a goatee and get eye surgery as soon as financially possible!

Whew! At first I thought it said “Hot Girls Love Goatse”

Please amend your poll: It should be “Hot Girls who attend demolition derbies Love Goatee: Statistically Proven”.

That said, I have a goatee. My wife is hot. She doesn’t go to demolition derbies. Nor does she love goatse. I hope.

I think your sample is too small. I love glasses and dislike goatees.

Eye surgery isn’t necessary. You can get contacts.

You obviously never saw my goatee neighbor. Or his wife.

I’ve been called “hot” on occasion- and I prefer guys without facial hair. Very rarely have I seen a guy who looks better with a goatee than without. I also have nothing against glasses.

No comment on my being hot or not.

I like a goatee on a dark-haired man. Blond or red goatees just don’t work for me, but dark goatees really really do.

There are some shapes of faces, notably the very round ones, where a goatee is not much help. Maybe not harm done, but not an improvement.


Repeat experiment at Bolshoi, compare results.

I fear that the goatee is on its way to becoming the next mullet.

Three more surveys:

Count guys with both goatees and mullets.

Count guys who used to have mullets but now have goatees (very high correlation in the 30 and older crowd).

Or it could be that the men picked up the hot women before they grew the goatees. The hot women then demanded the men grow the goatee as a deterrent to scare off other hot women. Marking their territory as it were.

I have no face fungus and a hot girlfriend.

[cheesy Japanese martial artist accent]
Ha! I skew your statistics now!
[/cheesy Japanese martial artist accent]

Does not compute. :confused: Were 2 of the women with guys with goatees bald? (Get your minds out of the gutter, I meant bald-headed.)

How many clean-shaven men were with women with goatees?

This is purely a drive-by post to comment that when I saw the thread title on the forum index, I read it as Hot Girls Love Goatse… and did a doubletake! :smiley:

I have:

  1. A young, hot blonde wife.
  2. A goatee.
  3. Prescription glasses.

Blammo! goes your database.

I have:

  1. A young, hot redheaded wife.
  2. A goatee.
  3. Prescription glasses.

Zot! goes the theories supporting your database.

I have:

  1. A distinct LACK of a hot girlfriend
  2. Goatee
  3. Prescription glasses

I don’t know HOW that pans out. Apparently, from what I can tell, the prescription glasses cancel out the goatee.

As follow up to my observation at the demolition derby: The next morning, I shaved only such that the outline of a beginning goatee was evident. Later that day, I did some errands.

At the grocery store in the parking lot, a young female employee (maybe 18, 19, 20 yrs old) was pushing shopping carts my direction and stopped to talk to me as I was putting groceries in my car. Never happend before. I don’t think I came across differently, attitude-wise.

Coincidence? Perhaps, but the scientific experiment shall continue…(And I do wear glasses…I’d be curious to see if I get any reactions wearing contacts).

For some reason every time I see a goatee I think “pubic hair”.

Seems like around here it’s mostly the pre-middle-aged-losing-their-hair crowd that goes for the goatee.

I’m glad I’m not the only one who read it as that!

I hate a goatee on a man. Hey! That means you’re calling me ugly! :eek: :wink: