Don't interfere with the baseball, you idiot fishface fuckhole

[Cervaise]

Last night. Bottom of the second, A's at Mariners. M's up four-three. Zito on the mound, Beltre at the plate. Two outs. Two men on. Early in the game, but a nice little bit of tension all the same.

Zito delivers a pretty good slider, which Beltre underhacks into a huge fly ball off to the right side. Hatteberg goes over, even though it looks like it'll come down six or seven rows back; but then it starts drifting in a bit, and Hatteberg actually has a play, reaching in over the rail. And perhaps not surprisingly, probably due to all the negative publicity recently about fan interference, the first couple of rows of spectators obligingly and responsibly press themselves back and clear the area so Hatteberg can glove it or not, on his own.

Except this one guy. This one idiot guy. That's right, you lamprey-lipped motherfucker with the black polo shirt and the Art Garfunkel hair, I'm talking to you. What in the name of Satan's own cockring are you doing bellying over the goddamn stair rail DIRECTLY TOWARD THE LARGE ATHLETE CHARGING AT YOU?

Now it's not as if this stuff hasn't been all over the news lately, right? But even if you can't be arsed to maybe pay attention to events about the game you're shelling out muy buckos to watch from the third row so you could maybe know not to do this in the first place, possibly you could take note of all the people screaming for you to drop your gear into fucking reverse and take a step back. Hmmm? You think? On my freeze frame, I count at least three other fans bellowing at you: bad-hair tie-tucker, and food-tray man and his bright blue neighbor; and who knows how many others outside the range of the frame.

(On the other hand, the G. Gordon Liddy at top right is grinning like a retarded cartoon camel, so fuck him. But also visible in the frame is a wide-eyed Oliveresque tot cowering adorably directly under the play, so I guess it balances out.)

Yeah, I know, Hatteberg booted it, and he booted it on its own. Ball went off the heel of his glove, so it was, without question, catchable. Screwhole fan flinched back at the last possible instant, and never touched the ball or the fielder. Hatteberg should have made the play.

But on slow motion, it's clear that the fan isn't the only one flinching. A couple of frames before the ball comes down, as it looks like the fan's clutching fingers are going to join the glove-ball intersection, Hatteberg shuts his eyes, and that's why the ball misses the leather pocket. Now, maybe he had a fleeting Little League moment, or he's having an off day, or he's just a crappy fielder in general, and he would have shut his eyes anyway. Or maybe there was an unseen protrusion on his side of the fence that yerked his cup funny. We don't know.

But you know with all the stuff that's been going on recently, every professional ball player is at least a little worried, and seeing a fan DIVING OVER THE RAIL TOWARD YOU has got to have an effect. That's not really an excuse, because Hatteberg's a pro and he should be able to not think about it, but the point is, given current events, he shouldn't have to. He shouldn't be forced to think about this, just because this isroed preppysaurus isn't thinking about anything at all except getting his grubby mitt on a meaningless souvenir. The fielder deserves a clear shot at the play, and he should be allowed to make it or muff it according to whatever luck and skill he's got going for him at that moment.

Maybe I'm overreacting. This little incident isn't going to make a reply, or a recap, or be the subject of agonizing hand-wringing by any officials or columnists or talking heads. It turned out not to affect the game; the shoulda-caught-it putout came on the next pitch, when Beltre chopped a dribbler. This was just another idiot fan coming within half a heartbeat and maybe a couple of centimeters of joining the growing roster of stupidity, and then pulling himself back, and the game moving on.

But that's the thing. There shouldn't be any pulling back. Goddammit, how stupid do you have to be to even flirt with this kind of boneheaded maneuver these days? Will it be necessary to put pamphlets on all seats in the first five rows before every game, reminding them that if the player wants to try to make a play, you have to let him? Should the ushers be equipped with telescoping cattle prods to keep the yahoos in line?

What's it going to take, I ask, before these self-absorbed, brain-dead bozos wake up to the world around them?

[Frank]

A ball in the stands is not fan interference whether or not the fielder had a play. The fielder has no right to a ball once it is out of the field of play; he must depend on the kindness of strangers.

You may, of course, pit the nice gentlemen for getting in the way of the home team making an out.

[Cervaise]

I re-read the rules, and you're right. I had the rule wrong. So... never mind.

Still, it was fun ranting.

[D_Odds]

I'll have to side with TYM on both points.

However, your description of the fans in attendance, Cervaise, reminded me of one of the better scenes in a movie I recently rented. In Dawn of the Dead, there's a nice scene where they pick off zombies who resemble famous people. I started thinking of batters doing the same.

"See if you can hit G. Gordon Liddy."
*crack*
"Ooh, good one. My turn; I'm going for Garfunkel."

[Clothahump]

All of this makes me wonder why the heck ballparks haven't put up windows in front of the lower seats like they have at hockey games.

[friedo]

Originally Posted by Clothahump

All of this makes me wonder why the heck ballparks haven't put up windows in front of the lower seats like they have at hockey games.

That is the stupidest fucking idea in the entire history of mankind. Please immediately remove your reproductive organs and murder any offspring you may have thus far produced.

[Philster]

Baseball needs fan interference! It's part of the 'charm'....like ballparks of different dimensions, leagues with different ruls, umpires with different standards,s and managers who are allowed on the field dressed like their players.

[Alias]

Originally Posted by Cervaise

. . .you idiot fishface fuckhole

I just wanted to say

BEST. INSULT. EVER.

[Exgineer]

Originally Posted by Clothahump

All of this makes me wonder why the heck ballparks haven't put up windows in front of the lower seats like they have at hockey games.

Way To Fuck Up A Perfectly Good Game # 40,032.

[asterion]

If this ball was in fair territory, I'd be in total agreement with the OP. As it was in foul ground, I'm still mostly in agreement with the OP. Don't make a play on the ball if you have to reach over the railing if a fielder is trying to catch it, especially in this sort of situation. Back off, let him try to make the catch, and maybe he'll flip the ball up into the stands after making the inning-ending catch. Now, if it's coming clearly down into the first row, you can take a shot at it, though personally I still think the right thing to do is to get out of the way if possible.

[mhendo]

Well, although the rules say that a ball in the crowd is fair game, i still think it's good form to move back and let the player take a shot at catching it.

That said, the sort of thing described in the OP is nowhere near as bad as all the morons who continually bend over in an attempt to field fair balls that bounce along the walls and into the corners. A prime example was the incident a week or so ago when a whole bunch of Boston fans grabbed for the ball, and Gary Sheffield ended up getting smacked in the face by one of them.

What makes incidents like this even more incomprehensible is that the fans even do it for hits by their own team, thus potentially depriving their team of the benefits of a triple. All that for a four dollar baseball and the chance to be thrown out of the park. Idiots.

[Ike Witt]

Baseball fans are a strange bunch. They get their tighty whiteys in a bunch over things like fan interference and then they have an even bigger hissy fit when a fairly obvious solution is offered.

Don't worry Cervaise aren't there still 145 games to make up for one bad one?

[Troy McClure SF]

Originally Posted by Exgineer

Way To Fuck Up A Perfectly Good Game # 40,032.

I agree, but if Jeffrey Maier, Steve Bartman, and all the rest of these knuckledraggers keep interfering with live balls, that's what we might end up with. No touchy!

[buttonjockey308]

Two Words from a Cubs Fan.

Steve Bartman

[kaylasdad99]

Originally Posted by Exgineer

Way To Fuck Up A Perfectly Good Game # 40,032.

Well, to be fair, Way #1 (designated hitters) fucked it up to the point where it was no longer Perfectly Good.

And Way #2 (regular season interleague play) brought it down to not even being Good.

[Maus Magill]

I still think people who lean over the wall to catch the ball should be shot.

[Exgineer]

Originally Posted by kaylasdad99

Well, to be fair, Way #1 (designated hitters) fucked it up to the point where it was no longer Perfectly Good.

Point taken. Interleague play doesn't bother me too much for some reason.

[Clothahump]

Originally Posted by friedo

That is the stupidest fucking idea in the entire history of mankind. Please immediately remove your reproductive organs and murder any offspring you may have thus far produced.

Want to explain that statement?

Back in the 1980s, I believe, a fan was hit in the head with a line shot foul ball at an Astros game. She sued and collected. If they had put up a six foot high glass barrier like at hockey games, it wouldn't have happened. Fans can still catch foul flies that come down behind the barrier, and you don't have incidents with fans reaching over the bleacher rails and interfering with play on the field.

[Frank]

Originally Posted by Clothahump

Back in the 1980s, I believe, a fan was hit in the head with a line shot foul ball at an Astros game. She sued and collected.

Cite? I ask because while I've heard of people suing, I've never heard of them winning. It's made very clear that the fan assumes the risk of being hit by balls, bats, etc. on the tickets, by signage, by announcements and so on.

I also think your idea is a bad idea (though not with the vehemence of the poster you quoted) - it would detract from my enjoyment of the game.

[Agent Foxtrot]

Originally Posted by Alias

I just wanted to say

BEST. INSULT. EVER.

I was just about to say that! PRIMO insult!

[Cervaise]

I was kinda hoping this thread would fade, since I'm embarrassed about my misremembering of the rules (and once it was pointed out, I knew I knew it, too), but as a couple of people have commented on the epithet in the thread title, I feel I should say that if you'd seen the guy in the replay, with the round and glisteningly pink pucker of single-minded concentration protruding from the lower half of his face, you would have called him a fishface fuckhole too.

[scout1222]

"round and glisteningly pink pucker" is so vivid it's disgusting. I expect no less from you, though.

[Typo Negative]

Originally Posted by kaylasdad99

And Way #2 (regular season interleague play) brought it down to not even being Good.

Yes, because two different leauges playing each other is bad.


Wait a minute......it's not bad at all.

But I agree with the OP. The fans should keep their slimy hands off a ball in play. What the fuck is urgency in getting to a ball? Do you think ANYONE is actually impreesed that you got a ball???? Grow up, fer chrissakes.

[Typo Negative]

And do you think anyone is impressed with spelling abilites?

[Typo Negative]

That's it. I'm going home....

[furt]

Originally Posted by Clothahump

Want to explain that statement?

Back in the 1980s, I believe, a fan was hit in the head with a line shot foul ball at an Astros game. She sued and collected. If they had put up a six foot high glass barrier like at hockey games, it wouldn't have happened. Fans can still catch foul flies that come down behind the barrier, and you don't have incidents with fans reaching over the bleacher rails and interfering with play on the field.

True story: In the late 50s, Richie Ashburn (the greatest defensive centerfielder of all time) hit a line drive into the stands, hitting Alice Roth in the face and breaking her nose. As they were carrying her off on a stretcher, the ump ordered play resumed. Again, Ashburn fouled the pitch off ... hitting the same Mrs Roth as she was being carried from the stadium.

Mr. Ashburn visited Mrs. Roth in the hospital. They became freinds, her son was a Phillies batboy, and Mr. Ashburn sent her a christmas card every year for the rest of his life.

That wouldn't have happened with a plexiglass barrier, either.

There's a very deep lesson in there somewhere.

[Kyla]

Originally Posted by spooje

That's it. I'm going home....

Yet more proof that Dodger fans are mentally deficient.

[Typo Negative]

Originally Posted by Kyla

Yet more proof that Dodger fans are mentally deficient.

OK, I deserved that one.




But I'll get you yet!

::shakes fist at computer::

[if6was9]

Zito? He used to be like a good pitcher? Right?

[RickJay]

Originally Posted by furt

True story: In the late 50s, Richie Ashburn (the greatest defensive centerfielder of all time)

No, he wasn't. Yes, I know he had high range factors. He played in a big park behind an extrordinarily fly-ball-happy pitching staff. The notion that his high range factors mean he was the best defensive outfielder ever has been long discredited; that particular statistic was, in his case, to a great extent, simply an illusion of context.

He was awfully good, anyway.

[Gamaliel]

Originally Posted by furt

There's a very deep lesson in there somewhere.

Yes. Stay away from the ballpark when Ashburn is playing.

[furt]

Originally Posted by RickJay

No, he wasn't.

Both of my grandfathers died before I was born. Growing up in South Jersey in the 70s and 80s, I used to listen to the radio and hear Ashburn and Harry Kalas share old ballpark stories. He was wry, thoughtful, patient, wise and peppery, and I sometimes liked think that listening to Whitey was like hearing the grandpa I never had.

Don't get empirical with my myths.

[Maus Magill]

Originally Posted by furt

Don't get empirical with my myths.

Yeah, I hate it when people try to bring those horrible facts in when I'm reminising, too.

Case in point: My Granddaddy played minor league ball in the 20s and 30s. I remember him telling us he was traded up to the Indians for a game once. He never told us how he did.

Years later, I was relating this story to my little brother in my fraternity. LB was a huge baseball fan. He was one of those people who could tell you not only who won the the World Series in a given year, but by how many games, and what the scores of those game were. He looked up my Granddaddy as a favor for me. I still hold a grudge.

[picunurse]

Cervaise, I don't have occasion to swear much. On the rare occasions I do swear, folks that know me buy tickets out of town.
You are now my hero! That was the most original blue streak I've ever encountered, and I was raised in a family of sailors!
Are you coming to dinner when Swamp Bear is in town? I'd really like to shake your hand.

I read your post to my husband. He's cleaning his monitor now. Coffee, ya' know.

[Mr. Goob]

Originally Posted by Maus Magill

My Granddaddy played minor league ball in the 20s and 30s. I remember him telling us he was traded up to the Indians for a game once. He never told us how he did.

My uncle told me a few stories last summer at a picnic. My Grandfather was asked to try out for St. Louis. His fresh from Europe Mother said no way, that's only a game you will get a job.

My Grandfather was a huge man, think of a latter day Babe Ruth. When my Dad was in High School he was on the baseball team. Grandpa was playing around as practice for my Dad to field balls. I guess he carried away and really crushed a ball taht hit my Dad in the head and dropped him like a stone, out cold. My Uncle says that's the only time he can remember his Dad every getting emotional, when he thought he killed his kid.

Back on topic, as far as the idea of putting up plexiglass, that would suck ass. I saw a doubleheader years ago in Cleveland. A girl got hit in the face with a foul ball. I borrowed a pair of binoculars to see what all the commotion was, wow what a lot of blood. I'd still rather risk a ball a ball flying at my gob rather than look through glass.

[asterion]

Hey, I think we've found a way to make the Aisle 30, Row FF at Dodgers' Stadium even worse. Put up plexiglass.

[Troy McClure SF]

It just happened again to a ball hit by Yorvit Torrealba. Thankfully the fans are booing the crap out of him.

And now they're cheering his removal.

Dumb shithead.

[RickJay]

The problem with putting up glass is that pretty much every major league ballpark would require millions of dollars in renovations, and you'd introduce a variety of other safety problems anyway. Ever seen the glass shatter at a hockey game? You'd have guys running into it because they didn't see it and breaking their hands reaching for balls... bleah. Terrible idea.