Here I pit Baseball game attendees

[Tiggrkitty]

Notice I did not say Baseball fans here. Normally baseball fans go to a game to actually WATCH THE FUCKING GAME! They don’t constantly kick the back of someone’s seat with their tiny little shoes. They don’t talk about mundane crap that happened at the office.

No. Here I pit those people that go to the game with thier 2 - 4 year old kids, that allow those same adorable darlings to annoying the shit out of everyone around them. I personally do not like being kicked in the kidney’s over and over again by a bored child. I am not sure any adult does, so why don’t the parents correct the child? Instead of having the person in front turn around and ask politely for the child to stop, only to have it start up again within the next 5 minutes to where the child and parent get the stare of death from the party being annoyed. Those same adorable darlings will then scream at the top of their little lungs right into your ear, about strikes, balls, outs etc when it’s between innings. aka they are not actually watching the game and the parent isn’t bothering on teaching the child about baseball.

Then there are the parent drones. Do these people not communicate with each other at home? Instead they wait until the game to discuss what happened at the office the day before, or what Judy was wearing. How about that time they were at day camp 5 years ago. Oh and don’t forget, did you know Dotty gave her notice yesterday, no one knows why. We aren’t sure if she has anything lined up or not, but rumor has it, it was because so and so pissed her off. They do not do this quietly, no indeed they do not. They have to talk as loudly as they possibly can, even when the crowd around them is dead quiet watching the pitch. They are so damn distracting you can’t concentrate on the game.

Then there are the baseball know-it-alls that actually don’t know shit. Switch hitter indeed. You moron, if the guy batting right handed was a switch hitter he would be batting left handed against a left handed pitcher. Have another beer! It may help you slur your words a little more, so perhaps those around you won’t understand what the hell you are saying.

Oh and for those of you that insist on standing up and yelling “You suck” at every opposing team member. Fuck you. If you can do better, get your ass on the field.

Two different games. Two different days. Two different sections. Same inconsiderate assholes EVERYWHERE.

I just want to watch a game without the hassle of morons. Is that too much to ask? Yeah, I could watch it on TV, but it’s blacked out.

Thanks. I feel better now that I vented. Perhaps I won’t smack someone today while at game 3.

[Brainiac4]

@Tiggrkitty

Then there are the baseball know-it-alls that actually don’t know shit. Switch hitter indeed. You moron, if the guy batting right handed was a switch hitter he would be batting left handed against a left handed pitcher. Have another beer! It may help you slur your words a little more, so perhaps those around you won’t understand what the hell you are saying.

Overall, I am so with you… but I must indulge in a minor nitpick. A switch-hitter bats right against lefties. The opposite-handed matchup (generally) favors the hitter. This is why managers will bring in a lefty to pitch to a lefty, for example, as that gives a matchup favorable to the pitcher.

And may I add to your list the utterly clueless “fan” who asks all and sundry “where’s (star player who retired 5+ years ago, whose number now adorns the outfield wall)?”

[Tiggrkitty]

@Brainiac4

Overall, I am so with you… but I must indulge in a minor nitpick. A switch-hitter bats right against lefties. The opposite-handed matchup (generally) favors the hitter. This is why managers will bring in a lefty to pitch to a lefty, for example, as that gives a matchup favorable to the pitcher.

Doh! :smack:

You moron, if the guy batting LEFT handed was a switch hitter he would be batting RIGHT handed against a left handed pitcher.

Remind me not to vent when I am pissed off. It was a lefty hitting against a lefty pitcher. If the guy was a switch hitter he should have been batting right. Gah I sound as stupid as that guy last night. :smack:

Must proofread…Tiggr must learn to proofread.

@Brainiac4

And may I add to your list the utterly clueless “fan” who asks all and sundry “where’s (star player who retired 5+ years ago, whose number now adorns the outfield wall)?”

We had a few of those as well. Cardsfan corrected them every time, which shut them up for 15 minutes before they started on the next set of idiotic statements. It was painful. The moron would go from the baseball game, to the rodeo, to day camp, back to the rodeo, and oh wow they scored! (Might I add this guy was in his 40s) I actually could not figure out which team this guy was for. He sounded at first like he was for the home team, but then mentioned the National league. The game we were watching was American/National. In which the National team was leading it’s division.

[Bruce_Daddy]

I’ve got one for you. I went to a local minor league game a couple of weeks ago, a Tuesday IIRC. There were maybe 100 people there, it was not crowded at all. At this park, the seats along the baselines are reserved and the general admission seats are above those and beyond the bases. Anyway, these two little kids were sitting in the reserved seats when a crusted old hag wandered down and upon noticing the boys in her seat screeched “YOU’RE IN MY CHAIR!!”. Besides me there were no other people for 30 seats in either direction. The boys quietly walked one row up and sat down. One of them said “Sorry about that.” which got no response.

Bitter hag. STFU and sit on the next row or next seat. Or don’t be such a bitch about it if it’s your lucky seat or some nonsense like that.

plug

[mhendo]

Yeah, i’m with the OP on this rant. I don’t have too much trouble with people discussing non-baseball-related stuff in the stands, although when they just keep droning on and on and obviously don’t even pay attention to the game, it does get a little annoying.

I notice this particularly when i’m sitting relatively close to the play–for example, if i’m ten rows back somewhere along the first base line. It’s not that people talk more in this area, only that i notice it more, because failing to pay attention to the game when you’re sitting in this part of the stands can end up getting you hurt. If a fouled-off fast ball comes into the seats at about 100 miles an hour, you need to be watching the play or you’re likely to end up with a crushed nose of a split cheek.

I also really hate the fans who spend the whole afternoon swearing their heads off and abusing the players. I have no problem with swearing as a general principle (fuckcuntshitpisscock. See? ), but i don’t really think it’s appropriate to be yelling out that sort of abuse in the presence of young kids and families.

I’ll give you an example of another thing that really pisses me off. I actually ranted about this last season on these message boards, so i’ll cut and paste my complaint from this thread:

@mhendo

So, i’m at the Orioles/Blue Jays game at Camden Yards yesterday. My girlfriend had scored a couple of good seats from someone at her work, $40 seats in an area known as the Field Box. We were in Section 58, and if you go here you can see where that is (click on the section and you’ll get a view of the diamond from the seats). As you can see, that section is just outside third base, and we were about 25 rows back.

Now, sitting in those seats, one gets a side-on view of the pitch. If the batter is right-handed, we are looking straight at his back; if he’s batting from the left, we are looking straight at his chest. So tell me, all you whining, moaning, arm-chair umpires in my section, how the fuck can you tell when it’s a strike and when it’s a ball?

We can, of course, see the height of the ball. But if the height is OK, there’s no fucking way you can tell, from 150 feet away and side-on, whether the ball painted the outside corner, or whether it was wide. Of course, we get a few hints from things such as the catcher’s position, and we can also infer some things from the batter’s actions. For example, if the batter suddenly rears backwards way from the plate, chances are that the ball was inside. But this happens rarely. And yet you parochial idiots spend the whole fucking afternoon complaining every time the umpire calls a ball on Oriole pitching, and every time he calls a strike on Toronto pitching.

Now, i’m not some impartial purist who goes only to see the best possible game and doesn’t care who wins. I cheer strongly for Orioles hits, and sigh deeply when they throw away yet another game. And i was as pissed as anyone with the blown call at first base that was a major factor in yesterday’s defeat. But give me a break. You lose all credibility when you just sit there all afternoon whining about almost every pitch.

[Tiggrkitty]

Well it paid off venting earlier. Only problem today was 4 dimwits standing up during the game to try and figure out what was going on 8 sections away from us. (Some dipshit took a foul ball out of the hands of a little kid. Almost caused a lynch mob to show up) Other than that, it was a perfect game to be enjoyed.

I suppose all the asshat’s were driven to sniveling idiots under the Texas sun. It was a scorcher of a day and those that were sitting in the sun were bailing out left and right. There is justice in this world afterall.

BTW…Cardinals 13- Rangers 2. It was a good day for Cardinal fans, totally made up for last night’s pitcher malfunction.

[WernhamHogg]

Let me add to the list of annoyances, (a) people who are constantly coming and going from their seats, gettoing more beer and hotdogs, and always when there’s something going on on the field, so everyone blocks the view of people who are there to watch a game, (b) anyone starting or participating in “the wave,” which is done at any random time because of rubes who think they should do it just because they are at a sporting event, © people who stand up and rubberneck when a foul ball goes into the stands, thus blocking the view of those watching the actual game rather than preoccupying themselves hopefully with the chance to see an injured fan, (d) anyone from the Twin Cities rooting for the “away” team, especially if it’s the Yankees. Fucking frontrunners. They root against the Twins but as soon as the Twins are in the playoffs, there they are with their “Twins” gear acting like they were with the team the whole time.

[JerH]

@skutir

Let me add to the list of annoyances, (a) people who are constantly coming and going from their seats, gettoing more beer and hotdogs, and always when there’s something going on on the field, so everyone blocks the view of people who are there to watch a game,

I was sitting next to this guy on Saturday! He left and came back a total of 7 times during the game (I counted). Now, admittedly, the game did go into extra innings, but still - if your bladder is that small, perhaps you should stay home and watch the game on TV? The same guy decided to make a loud cell phone call in the 10th inning, for the very imporant reason that he had to tell his wife that he was at the baseball game, and he was talking on his cell phone. The line “I’m sitting here at the baseball game, talking on my cell phone” was repeated (with some variation) several times.

Also, to the guy I saw walking to the park wearing an Orioles t-shirt and a Giants cap: pick a freaking team! They’re playing each other so you can’t support them both without looking like a wanker! I don’t care which one, just pick!

[carterba]

@Tiggrkitty

(Some dipshit took a foul ball out of the hands of a little kid. Almost caused a lynch mob to show up)

Was this the same guy that they keep showing on ESPN, falling over some seats and practically kicking the kid in the head?

[Cinnamon_Girl]

@skutir

…
(b) anyone starting or participating in “the wave,” which is done at any random time because of rubes who think they should do it just because they are at a sporting event…

Hanging my head in shame. FWIW, I looove baseball and don’t get to go to games all that often since the even minor cost of $10 parking, $5 cheapest bleacher seats, gas & maybe food or a beer is considered unnecessary extravagance in our household. When I do get to go, the thrill of being in the crowd watching it live and in person often turns me into a little kid: excited to start or participate in The (sophomoric, I know) Wave. So, okay, I’m a putz. I can live with that.

I’m off to the game today to watch Griffey hit his 500th career homer. If that doesn’t call for the The Wave, I don’t know what does!

Of course, we’ll all be standing up and jumping around anyway, so the Wave is really just redundant.

[Tiggrkitty]

@carterba

Was this the same guy that they keep showing on ESPN, falling over some seats and practically kicking the kid in the head?

That would be the same guy and game. We were at all 3 Cardinal/Ranger games this past weekend. All three days, we were confronted with a bunch of inconsiderate people. It’s not often we get to watch a team from the NL unless we want to drive down to Houston, so this was a treat for us.

Honestly, I don’t know what is up with the Dallas/FTW fan base here. It’s more of a social outting than a sports event. Damnest thing I have ever seen. Cardsfan and I run into people more interested in “socializing” than watching the game. For crying out loud people, you pay 40 bucks a seat and all you do is discuss what Dotty wore to work the previous day or some day camp your kids went to 8 years ago? Can’t you like pick up the phone and talk to each other BEFORE the game? Or maybe take your conversation out away from the seating so people that are interested in watching the game can do so in peace.

[fatmac98]

@skutir

Let me add to the list of annoyances, (a) people who are constantly coming and going from their seats, gettoing more beer and hotdogs, and always when there’s something going on on the field. . .

This is the worst. In my section, I have taken it upon myself to inform these “know-nothings” that proper stadium etiquette is to get out of you seat between half innings, or at worst, between hitters. Though it doesn’t come out quite so politely during games.

BTW, mhendo, when sitting down the forst or third baseline and trying to determine strikes/balls, look at where the catcher recieves the ball, the count, and note the type of pitch. If you know what you are looking for, you can generally tell if if the pitch is close or not, and what type of strike zone the umpire is calling.

[mhendo]

@fatmac98

BTW, mhendo, when sitting down the forst or third baseline and trying to determine strikes/balls, look at where the catcher recieves the ball, the count, and note the type of pitch. If you know what you are looking for, you can generally tell if if the pitch is close or not, and what type of strike zone the umpire is calling.

To a very limited extend, yes. It’s certainly pssible to tell from the catcher’s positioning, the count, etc., what type of pitch the pitcher is trying to throw. You can also tell whether the pitch is a curveball, a fastball, a change-up, a slider, etc. But the fans i was talking about somehow miraculously knew–to the millimetre–where the ball was, and felt able to criticize the umpire’s call before even seeing the replay.

Someone 150 feet away and side-on to the play cannot determine without the aid of a replay whether that sinking fastball painted the outside corner, or was just off the plate. The difference can literally be a matter of half an inch, and anyone who says that he or she can make that determination from a seat in the stands at 90 degrees to line of the pitch, and can do it better than the umpire who is right behind the catcher, is a liar.

[fatmac98]

@mhendo

To a very limited extend, yes. It’s certainly pssible to tell from the catcher’s positioning, the count, etc., what type of pitch the pitcher is trying to throw. You can also tell whether the pitch is a curveball, a fastball, a change-up, a slider, etc. But the fans i was talking about somehow miraculously knew–to the millimetre–where the ball was, and felt able to criticize the umpire’s call before even seeing the replay.

Someone 150 feet away and side-on to the play cannot determine without the aid of a replay whether that sinking fastball painted the outside corner, or was just off the plate. The difference can literally be a matter of half an inch, and anyone who says that he or she can make that determination from a seat in the stands at 90 degrees to line of the pitch, and can do it better than the umpire who is right behind the catcher, is a liar.

Hell, lots of times the guys in blue right behind the plate have no idea where the pitch was. I suspect you were seated near some numbskulls, and no, one cannot tell if a pitch painted the black, but if the umpire has had a consistent zone throughout the game, and one is something of a purist (and homer), the strikezone can be fairly well estimated from a side view. I’ll end this hijack now, sorry.

[OneChance]

@JerH

The same guy decided to make a loud cell phone call in the 10th inning, for the very imporant reason that he had to tell his wife that he was at the baseball game, and he was talking on his cell phone. The line “I’m sitting here at the baseball game, talking on my cell phone” was repeated (with some variation) several times.

Cell phone talkers are pretty bad, but what’s worse is watching the game on TV and seeing some fuckwad talking on his cell phone and waving at the camera. Who are these losers?