Having spent the better part of last week at Pac Bell Park, (Go Cards!), I feel compelled to list some things that really irritate the shit out of me that people do at sporting events. [ul]
[li] Get off the mother FUCKING phone. We’re here to watch baseball. Believe it or not, we’re not here to listen to one side of your stupid phone call. Turn the fucking thing off. If you must speak, LEAVE your seat. And if your conversation consists of, “Can you see me on TV? Here I am! Here I am!” then I feel you should know that millions of people watching you on TV think you’re an idiot.[/li][li] The Wave. Stop it. For the love of all that is holy, fucking stop it. What are you doing here? Most of us are here to watch the game, not act like grade schoolers. There’s a game going on. You’re being disrespectful to the players and other fans by ignoring it, I don’t care what the score is.[/li][li] You are not a Sportscaster. I didn’t bring my radio, therefore I don’t need your insightful running commentary. And stop trying to pretend like you’re just explaining things to your wife - it’s clear to ALL of us that you’re trying to wow us with your baseball knowledge. One more ridiculous comment about pinch hitting for Livan in the 5th inning and I’m going to lose my mind.[/li][li] Is that a glove? If you are over the age of 12, leave your goddamn glove at home. Seriously. If you catch one, you catch one, but when you haul one in using your Charlie Brown softball glove… for God’s SAKE, man!![/li][li] Where are you going? Is this Chez Ravine? It’s the 7th inning of a one-run game!! Again, what are you doing here if you can’t even stay and WATCH the game? You’re at Pac Bell - suck it up and deal with the traffic. I know, I know - there’s plenty of legitimate reasons for having to leave early, but not everyone pouring towards the exits has small children, or has to drive all night to get home. There’s tons of people leaving solely to beat the traffic. Fer chrissakes, show some support!![/li][li] The urinal line isn’t a comedy club. We’re not standing there to hear your drunken hilarity. We’ve all heard the “moo” thing. And the “line so long it’s the women’s room” thing. And the “somebody’s crap stinks” thing. Many times.[/li][/ul]
That’s all I can think of at the moment… Feel free to add your own. Or rip on mine. 
I agree with most of your points, but I feel sorry for you on this one. One of the beauties of baseball is how it can make it alright for grown men to play a kids’ game. If that sense of eternal youth, when it spills over into the stands, offends you, then I’m sorry to say your heart needs some softening up.
Why don’t we talk about it over a nice game of catch?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dooku *
**
[li] Where are you going? Is this Chez Ravine? It’s the 7th inning of a one-run game!! **[/li][/QUOTE]
My only answer to this is: Goddamn this game is boring!! I can’t take another sencond of this shit! Jesus! Do something!! That’s it! I’m leaving. I’ve sat thru 6 freakin’ innings of this shit, and only seen ONE score!
(I don’t care much for Basebore. Can you tell?) 
Thoughts from Gatopescado, who is attending the Formula One race in Indianapolis next month, and is not expecting to see any of the race.
Damn! I have forgotten to not become drunken again!
Re: The Wave. Dear God, yes. Please. Make it stop! I was at a game once where some chick in front of me (obviously not there out of a love of baseball) stood up a full five sections before the wave got to her, waving her hands and shaking her ass. Thanks. I missed a really stellar defensive play because she was in my way.
Also:
If you’re going to drink copious amounts of beer, get an aisle seat. I’m tired of you climbing over me twice an inning.
The other side of Dooku’s “You are not a sportscaster” - your lack of baseball knowledge should embarrass you. I know you’re pulling this stuff out of your butt, because it sounds completely made-up. Why are you broadcasting it to everyone around you?
It’s not the sense of eternal youth that offends me, it’s a grown man who thinks he needs a friggin’ GLOVE at his age to catch a baseball. Use your damn hands. Plus, if a 40 year-old man with a glove takes a ball away from a younger kid without one, no amount of heart softening is going to make me think that’s OK.
gatopescado, if you get bored so easily by baseball, what are you doing there in the first place? Give your ticket to someone who enjoys every aspect of the game and doesn’t get bored by only seeing “one score.”
Where I come from, it is unmanly for a grown man to bring his glove to a game as well.
Oooo - “one score games” - most exciting ballgame I ever saw. Kevin Brown vs Randy Johnson at the BOB. First run didn’t score until the 8th - very exciting!
One of the greatest oddities I have ever seen at a sporting event was at a college basketball game a few years ago. A married couple, about 55 or 60, were working ** in tandem ** to keep a running ** scorecard ** of the action on the court. You may say, “Aw, a married couple spending time together” but try to watch a game with ** this ** going on…
Gruff Speaking Husband: Okay, assist to number 21, basket by 45, and a turnover by 17 on the other end.
High Pitched Chipmunk/Wife: Waaaiiiittt, slow dooowwwn Harvey, I can’t keep up!!
GSH: Assist…to…21…score…by…45…and turnover…by…seven…teen.
HPC/W: Oooohh…well what just happened there? Did 17 score?
The great part was when there was a disagreement between the gruff speaking husband who not only did play by play but tried his hand at color and his wife…who’s head was DOWN for the entire game. :smack:
In regards to Dooku and esvees comments about men not bringing gloves to the game, and if they do they are somehow unmanly thenwhy the fuck do the PLAYERS have gloves??!!
Oh wait , iguess they are unmaly too, right?
Uh-huh.
If it comes down to a choice between breaking 2 fingers and being unmanly, I know what option I’m taking.
/Hijack/
Has anyone else besides me noticed all of the “being a real man” bullshit involves throwing all of your common sense and manners out the door/
Unmanly.
Oh please.
Uh…the players need gloves b/c the ball in play is going extremely fast and is on the ground and can change direction quickly. Pop-ups into the stands are not. You’re going to break two fingers catching a can-of-corn pop-up into the seats? No, you’re not. If you think you are, then use that common sense and those manners and get out of the way. (Obviously I’m not talking about line drives out of play, which no one tries to catch anyway, gloves or not).
Teenagers bring their gloves to the game in the hopes of catching a ball out of play. Good for them. A full grown adult bringing his glove into the stands isn’t doing so in case he has to protect his broken fingers - he does it for the same reason as the teenagers, and I think it’s bullshit. Let the kids use their gloves and have a chance at a ball. An adult pushing everyone out of the way and using their own glove in an attempt to get a ball is ridiculous. But I guess they have more common sense and better manners than me, huh?
Excuse me for being Australian and not knowing the legend behind wanting to catch a ball, but why is catching a ball such a good/desirable thing?
WSLer, let me buy you a beer or a malt beverage or whatever. Nothing unmanly about not drinking beer. This is all a mute point since I’m not of age, unless you’re a Canadian. Anyway.
Those line drives are the reason I bring my glove to ball games. I figure its’ better to try to slow it down with a glove than my body. As for adults pushing: adult pushing adult. Fine. Adult pushing kid. Unless its’ to move the kid out of the way of the afore mentioned line drive that’s disgusting. I’ve never caught a foul ball, but if I did I’d probably toss it to some kid (unless there were a bunch of them and that would start a fight).
I’m actually a fan of the wave. It reminds me of the Saturday Night Live skit where a man starts a wave then asks his wife to marry him. When she says no he says something like “But look! I just united 45,000 people in one!” The wave is great for showing spirit if you ask me, though uncoordinated and/or drunken fools, such as the one Winnowill mentioned, should be shot on sight.
A question Win, if you were at a basketball game and the same thing happened, except, instead of the wave, the woman was just excited and standing to cheer, would you still be upset?
Classiest thing that I’ve ever seen at a baseball game. At an Angels-A’s game on July 4th a few years back, my folks and I were sitting field level on the third base side a little past third base. High fly ball goes soaring into the sky. Way up there. Everyone in the section starts to look up and as it starts to come down, we all realize it is going to land right in our area. Keeps falling and falling. The little 8-10 year old boy with oversized Angels cap on and a big black mitt reaches up into the sky waiting for the ball to drop into his glove. THUMP! The poor kid misses the ball and it lands just behind him, hits his seat and ricochets towards the field and basically lands in this guy’s lap about 6 rows forward. The guy turns around holding the ball high, looks straight at the kid and lobs it back towards him. The kid caught it and absolutely beamed for the rest of the game. Great feeling. Everyone clapped.
Caught@Work, catching the ball is a good thing because it’s a souvenir. You get to keep it. Unlike in football or cricket where I think you are supposed to toss it back.
Ahhhh. Thanks.
So as a grown woman am I allowed to bring my glove to the game or would it make me look unwomanly?
I had never heard this thing about grown men bringing gloves to the game until about a month ago when there was someone sitting in front of me at a game griping about it. I don’t understand it. You wish to catch a baseball. Baseball gloves are designed to catch them. Therefore you bring a glove to the game. Seems like common sense to me. Adults shoving little kids in order to catch a ball is not cool no matter who brought their glove.
Nope. If she’s paying attention to the game and showing support to the team, that’s great. But she was paying attention to the wave. As are most of its participants. THAT’S what I hate about it. It isn’t saying “I’m supporting the team.” It’s saying “I’m bored. Let’s see how far we can get this going.”
Uh, Dodger Stadium is at Chavez Ravine. Unless “Chez Ravine” is a nickname for a nickname, or the french restaurant on the club level.
This must be the modern equivalent of “Nobody goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.”
Okay, the cell phone thing, my fault, I’m sorry. I had never been to a baseball game before and was actually having fun so I called home to prove to my parnets I was actually there. (My family doesn’t do basebal. We do musical theatre.) I let my little sisters hear the music and there was even a home run while we were on so everyone was very excited about this alien baseball thing.
Seriously, I did need running updates on what was going on, because I had never paid any attention to the whole sport before. I knew it involved sticks and for some odd reason they were used on a small ball rather than the people trying to tag you out.
Sorry I wanted to share my excitement at this weird ritual you baseball people do. I would have done it in the lobby at intermission, but tehy never turned the house lights on or announced it, so I figured I was safe.
Did your Playbill have an insert saying that tonight the part of Mike Piazza would be played by Vance Johnson?
At least the food and drink prices matched up right!
Yeah, I can see that side of it. Still, when I do it its’ more of an “Alright! Go team! We’re all behind you!” There’s more than one side to everything. I wish that only the people for really liked the sport came to the game, but then again maybe her S.O. was trying to introduce her to his world. Nothing you can really you, unless the law is changed to allow consealed dart guns to be carried around. Not poison darts, just to knock idiots out and, hopefully, out of the way.