Ballgame etiquette

Okay, so I’m going to my first ever MLB game next Wednesday. A friend has free tickets to see the Cubs so I’m going. I’ve lived in Chicago for 19 years and this will be the first time I’ve ever actually been to a game, so I’m not sure about the etiquette and procedures. For instance, if somebody spills beer on me, how should I react? How important is grammar in heckling? Is a giant foam hand mandatory or optional? What else should I know? I don’t want to make a fool of myself!

I know, I know, it’s too late to worry about that.

As a long time Mariner’s fan, I have found that giant foam things are all optional. Hats and shirts will make you look like a “big” fan, but will be pricy at the ballpark.

If beer spillage occurs, first determine type of beer. If it is a macro brew, give the person a decent chance to apologize before getting upset. If it is a quality micro brew it is polite to observe a moment of silence before offering condolences.

Grammar isn’t all that important in heckling. But remember that only in NY do fans heckle their own team. The umpires are, of course, fair game.

Catching a foul ball is a lot of fun, but try not to hurt anyone catching it.

After your team is victorious, all true fans strip down and run naked around the bases. If there are any announcements to the contrary, just remember that these are for insurance purposes, and no one takes them seriously.

Most importantly, have fun.

As another long time Mariners fan, I remember when this rarely happened…

One of the good things about Cubs games is that the crowd generally understands baseball.

That means: Foam fingers are neither mandatory nor optional - they are prohibited. So is the “Wave”. Sing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” at the middle of the seventh. Heckling requires no grammar - not even coherency. If someone spills a beer on you, you should try to get them to buy one for you.

Throwing back opponent’s homerun balls is the dumbest tradition in baseball, but when in Rome…

photopat is going to a CUBS game…there’s no reason to taunt. :smiley:

Every single frigging Cub game I’ve been to, I’ve seen the wave.

Wrigley is a giant singles bar, there’s some knowledgeable fans there, but way, way more UN-knowledgeable fans at that park than any other place in the majors. Pretty much anyone I know that’s been to more than a half dozen or so MLB parks says the same.

That stupid celebrity singing the 7th inning stretch is pretty much insulting. I pity the TV announcers that have to spend the next half inning interviewing the singer of the day.

View from the stands at Wrigley - gorgeous. The park is pretty much useless for anything other than being a postcard. It’s deteriorating, filthy, impossible to park near…

How to blend in with the crowd at Wrigley:

  1. Drink heavily at the nearest bar first.
  2. Make sure that someone on TV sees you talking on your cell phone.
  3. Dress in a suit, like you just came from work and you need people to think you’re THAT important.
  4. Drink more.
  5. Don’t worry about running the bases when your team wins. They won’t.

This is not true at all.

That’s a broad, stereotypical generalization. We don’t always drink at the nearest bar.

But ya, Cubs games are a blast. I’m really looking forward to games this summer.

That’s hilarious. At the Mariners games I’ve attended (not all that many, since I live three-plus hours from Seattle), somebody always tries to get The Wave started, and it never goes anywhere. It’s like most of the crowd sees it coming and thinks “What is this, Husky Stadium?” :stuck_out_tongue:

Actually, at the very first Mariners game I attended (Sept. 19, 1992, vs Oakland, in the Kingdome) there was an A’s fan in the stands dressed in a complete Oakland uniform and holding a big sign that read, “Do The Wave, Go To Jail” :dubious:

photopat: If/when Piniella throws a tantrum, remember that the crowd is yelling “Looooooooooou!” not “Booooooooo!”

As another longtime Mariner fan and a proud member of the Pilot Pack as a youngster, I’d have to say, drink as much beer as possible. No need for a foam finger but I believe a rousing chorus of “Yankees Suck” is appreciated even at a National League park.
Have Fun!!!

Sweet, look at all these Mariners fans! My husband and I have tickets for the game on the 23rd, I think - against Baltimore.

As for etiquette, I suppose it varies from city to city, stadium to stadium, fan to fan, crowd to crowd, hell, section to section - some are rowdier than others, some are corny enough to do the Wave (and you can join in if you’re feeling corny enough to keep it going), some spill more beer than others, some wave those foam phalluses like it’s keeping them alive, others, well, not so much.

We’re very non-confrontational types, so if we do find ourselves too near a handful of jerks, we pick up and go for a stroll. I can’t stand watching ballgames on TV, but I adore actually going to the game. You can walk around the stadium and still see the game, while perusing the overpriced wares and smelling the awesome ballpark food smells. You can get interesting new views of the game, that way, too.

I always get a little giddy when I go to ballgames, but I’m a pretty simple girl.

Speaking of the smells, I am never going to sit in the left field bleachers at Safeco again. My sisters and I sat there last August for one day game of that series against the Angels where everything started going downhill for the M’s. In addition to the fact that it was unbearably hot (and we’re from Eastern Washington!), we were almost directly above the vendor grilling the Polish sausages, and the smoke from the grill was torturing us throughout the game. It didn’t smell like cooking sausages - it just smelled like burning grease. The combination of the heat and the stink left me feeling seriously sick to my stomach.

Heyyyy, we were at that game last year! We were in right field territory, surrounded by young Ichiro fans.

*GANBATTE! ICHIRO! *

We couldn’t help but giggle when Richie Sexson was up, and they were apparently fans of him, too. I don’t know where they learned it or if they did it on purpose, but they began yelling very enthusiastically:

DIIIIIIICK! SEX!

If you have the opportunity to catch a foul ball, try not to knock over a kid while doing so.

Aw, don’t listen to Mr. Bus Guy…he’s a White Sox fan. I have been to zillions of Cubs games, and I have NEVER seen the wave! It’s also a myth that people wear suits…well, maybe not a myth, just an outdated truism. People used to go from work, when there were more day games and more people actually wearing suits to the office!

My best piece of advice this time of year is to dress warmer than you think you need to…layers! Especially if you will be sitting in the shade at any point. It gets really cold there early in the season. REALLY cold. (I know this isn’t etiquette-related advice, but it’s pretty valuable nonetheless! :slight_smile: )

The dressing warm is perfect advice. If it’s 50 in the city, it’ll 40 near the lake, and the wind is inevitably blowing in your face no matter where you sit.

Of course, you’ll be drunk, wearing a suit and warm from jumping up and down from waving, so…

:cool:

Well, I do live here, so I’m very aware of the weather, thanks. As for the other points,

  1. Unless they serve hard cider or really good margaritas/mojitos I probably won’t be drunk.

  2. I certainly won’t be wearing a suit.

3)I can’t even promise to jump up and down much unless a buxom young brunette asks me to join her in jumping up and down.

Still, I might consider wearingThe Stadium Pal just in case. :smiley:

Please don’t take my advice about the weather the wrong way…I’ve lived here my whole life, but still have been caught without adequate clothing at Cubs games. Even if it seems pretty balmy on the street, it can feel like you’re at a late-season Bears game up in the stands!

They serve a tasty MaiTai at the park. This is usually what I get when I don’t want beer. I have tickets to 10 games at Wrigley this year so I will probably be drinking a lot of them. If you drive get there early and park at the Taco Bell for 20 dollars, its about the same cost as any of the other spots along the way, but it’s a much closer walk.

Qwisp! How’s my new best friend? Everyone, this is Qwisp. We do everything together.