I’m having trouble with some pests and I’m looking for advice. My garden is infested with smurfs. Recently they flooded my back yard when they dammed the stream out back, so now I’m getting desperate. I’ve been strangling the little bastards as fast as I can catch them, but they’re worse than ever. I used to use Dursban to control them, but you can’t get that anymore and I haven’t found anything else that really works. Any help would be appreciated.
Psychiatric medications are your best option for eradicating smurfs. :eek:
Dude, whenever you find out, be sure to tell this guy. He’s got the same issue.
Fuel Air Explosive are the only sure non radioactive method of eradicating the great blue evils. (Rhymes with Weevils)
Toss them over the hedge. “Geroff, geroff!”
Free cookie to the first one to spot the reference.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Garden gnomes at The Burrow.
I like oatmeal spice, thank you.
Get a cat.
I can say for certain that a ginger tomcat is useless.
They seem to be attracted to oddly faced franch kids with magical flutes. I’d give it a shot.
oh, and if that doesn’t work, see if you can rent Mr. Roger’s Hennrietta Pussycat. She speaks Reverse Smurf Language, and I think putting them all together makes them cancel each other out. Kinda like -1 +1.
A smurfy trap should do the trick. At least 3 apples high.
We could then wipe out all of them. I still suggest some form of overly deadly explosives. You could truck in fresh topsoil after the fact.
Smurfs? Try getting Snorks out of your fucking water feature. Pansy.
It’s impossible to be rid of us. IMPOSSIBLE!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Out of curiousity, what colour do they turn when you strangle them?
1920s Style Death Ray.
Try a lawn mower, even if it means mowing the garden.
<Mitch Hedberg>
My apartment is currently overrun by koala bears. It is the cutest infestation ever.
</Mitch Hedberg>
Definitely high speed & low mulching blade. Are they good fertilizer at least?
What might one name that cat. . .