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  #1  
Old 07-10-2005, 11:49 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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Celebrity 'endowments'

In this thread, we shall discuss which celebrities are "gifted" in certain areas, and which are not. Liam Neeson is rumored to swing crazy pipe, for example.

Or hey, what about Jude Law?

Don't worry, it's totally work safe, but hooboy. (Ignore the bad combover and the scarf.)
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  #2  
Old 07-10-2005, 11:55 PM
pinkfreud pinkfreud is offline
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Seems as if I've read that Colin Farrell is amply proportioned, but I don't care, since I can't stand him.
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  #3  
Old 07-10-2005, 11:57 PM
pinkfreud pinkfreud is offline
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I just checked that Jude Law link. My goodness gracious, the boy is smuggling a loaf of French bread.
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  #4  
Old 07-11-2005, 12:13 AM
Miss Purl McKnittington Miss Purl McKnittington is offline
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Uh, yeah. Jude Law has left my "hot man" list and entered my "man with intimidating penis who dresses for yachting" list. Dear lord, I wonder if he attaches a sail to that thing.
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  #5  
Old 07-11-2005, 12:15 AM
Raguleader Raguleader is offline
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Not entirely on-topic, but if you watch the end of Grease, Jeff Conaway appears to be rather well endowed. Apparantly he decided it'd be a great joke to grab a sausage from the lunch cart before filming the scene and stuffing it in his pants to see if anyone noticed. It's like the one thing he's famous for aside from being in Grease to begin with.
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  #6  
Old 07-11-2005, 12:16 AM
Sternvogel Sternvogel is offline
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If we're including "dead wood", Milton Berle had quite the reputation. And, posthumously, so did John Dillinger.
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  #7  
Old 07-11-2005, 12:19 AM
silenus silenus is online now
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Forrest Tucker is reputed to have had the hangingest pork in the West.
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  #8  
Old 07-11-2005, 12:23 AM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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Oh, and since photobucket sucks, they resized the original. So I cropped it and uploaded it again, with the lighting fixed for clarification. Here you go.

Why yes, I DO have a dirty mind, thank you for asking!
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  #9  
Old 07-11-2005, 01:04 AM
Sampiro Sampiro is offline
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Jude Law has done brief frontal nudity in at least two films (Wilde and Talented Mr. Ripley) and in neither did he seem particularly "gifted". I'm wondering if it was laundry night and he had a roll of quarters or something.

Forrest Tucker and Milton Berle are the subjects of the "took out just enough to win" anecdote.

Shirley MacLaine filmed the movie Wrestling Ernest Hemingway with Richard Harris. In one scene a starkers Harris opens the door to see MacLaine on the other side- according to her (though admittedly this is a woman who thinks her dog is the reincarnation of Anubis) the first time they did this shot she couldn't go on with the scene because she was mortified. "He could have pole vaulted with that &#$&ing thing!"

The most "Sweet Mother of Jesse Helms!" schlong I've ever seen on film was the aptly named Peter Firth's in Equus. The thing was a foot long flacid... if he got excited he'd black out and so would those standing around him. There is no way in hell I'd ever want anything like that attached to or anywhere near my body.

On the "less than gifted" side, Mark McGrath and Enrique Iglesias have both attested to their "minimalist" tendencies. (I think for Enrique it was to explain why he had no visible wood in the [,according to rumor, staged] pics of him with Anna Kournikova.) Robin Williams was either very very brave or very very cold when he filmed Fisher King.

Of course some would never believe a gay man would make this comment, but I think the term "tool" is the best slang for that part of the anatomy as it is purely utilitarian rather than aesthetic- for true beauty you can't do much better than a nice set of gams or a nice round boo-tay. I've never understood the big hoo-ha over big hoo-has, but I must admit it's strangely interesting. (And in case you're wondering, I'm solidly "middle class".)
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  #10  
Old 07-11-2005, 02:05 AM
Superdude Superdude is offline
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Straight guy chiming in:

I can't attest to its validity, but a friend (and I DO mean an actual friend. Her name is Rebecca) swears that Steven Weber is likely to need back surgery in the future due to the size of the unit she swears he showed in Single White Female.
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  #11  
Old 07-11-2005, 02:31 AM
Tuckerfan Tuckerfan is offline
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Jimmy Durante was supposed to have a wang which rivaled his beak. I've also heard that Bea Arthur's got a helluva swingin' dick.
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  #12  
Old 07-11-2005, 05:02 AM
Otto Otto is offline
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Ewan McGregor has an enormous...light saber. Which, bless his heart, he puts on display in (off the top of my head) The Pillow Book, Velvet Goldmine and Young Adam.
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  #13  
Old 07-11-2005, 05:09 AM
parthenokinesis parthenokinesis is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Otto
Ewan McGregor has an enormous...light saber. Which, bless his heart, he puts on display in (off the top of my head) The Pillow Book, Velvet Goldmine and Young Adam.
Don't forget Trainspotting. And I think the whole 18 inch hose bit from Down With Love is much funnier knowing Ewan almost does have such.
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  #14  
Old 07-11-2005, 05:11 AM
Anastasaeon Anastasaeon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Otto
Ewan McGregor has an enormous...light saber. Which, bless his heart, he puts on display in (off the top of my head) The Pillow Book, Velvet Goldmine and Young Adam.
..and Trainspotting, briefly.

He's the only one I could think of.
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  #15  
Old 07-11-2005, 05:12 AM
Anastasaeon Anastasaeon is offline
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Not so quick on the draw, me. Next time, I preview.
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  #16  
Old 07-11-2005, 05:35 AM
Thalion Thalion is offline
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I remember reading an interview with Dana Delaney in which she commented on this topic. She said that Liam Neeson is legendary in Hollywood for his equipment, she knew that Willem Defoe was well-hung from a movie that they did together, and she said that James Woods is so proud of his that he'll tell anyone about it.

I also read an article from a life-long professional groupie that Huey Lewis has the biggest tool of any musician she had been with.
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  #17  
Old 07-11-2005, 05:37 AM
Walloon Walloon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guinastasia
Liam Neeson is rumored to swing crazy pipe, for example.
He did frontal nudity in that Jodie Foster movie Nell. I didn't see anything unsual.
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  #18  
Old 07-11-2005, 05:45 AM
Walloon Walloon is offline
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Fact vs. rumor: Search the database here for James Woods (The Onion Field) and Ewan McGregor (Velvet Goldmine). No big deal, in either case.
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  #19  
Old 07-11-2005, 08:40 AM
Omniscient Omniscient is offline
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We all do understand that "flaccid during a movie scene" is not a fair measure of who does and does not swing crazy pipe, right?

If it's not locked and in it's full, upright position, you just have no idea what you're getting yourself into. Amazing, confusing appendages they are....
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  #20  
Old 07-11-2005, 09:06 AM
Cliffy Cliffy is offline
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A celebrity of much lesser lights, but comic book writer Roy Thomas is well known in the appropriate circles as being astoundingly well endowed.

--Cliffy
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  #21  
Old 07-11-2005, 09:18 AM
Raguleader Raguleader is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Omniscient
We all do understand that "flaccid during a movie scene" is not a fair measure of who does and does not swing crazy pipe, right?

If it's not locked and in it's full, upright position, you just have no idea what you're getting yourself into. Amazing, confusing appendages they are....
But isn't it normally the aforementioned pipe that tends to do the getting into?

Sorry. Couldn't resist.
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  #22  
Old 07-11-2005, 09:20 AM
Shirley Ujest Shirley Ujest is offline
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Frank Sinatra was suppose to be a 100# penis with a ten pound man. Or something like that.
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  #23  
Old 07-11-2005, 09:29 AM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Otto
Ewan McGregor has an enormous...light saber. Which, bless his heart, he puts on display in (off the top of my head) The Pillow Book, Velvet Goldmine and Young Adam.
If you've followed my posts here, you'll know that I'm indeed familiar with Ewan's assets.
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  #24  
Old 07-11-2005, 09:56 AM
PapSett PapSett is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkfreud
Seems as if I've read that Colin Farrell is amply proportioned, but I don't care, since I can't stand him.

I got a quick glimpse of Colin's ....endowment in "Alexander" , and I now know why they called Alexander "Great" .

I also have a pic of Orlando Bloom that clearly shows the outline of his , erm , stem , (get it ? Bloom ? Stem ? Never mind ... ) and that boy seems to be packin' too .
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  #25  
Old 07-11-2005, 10:31 AM
JohnBckWLD JohnBckWLD is offline
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From the music world:

Iggy Pop - Claims to have used it to get out of the Vietnam draft.

Todd Rundgren - Growing up, Liv Tyler assumed he was her father. And like Iggy, he's considered repulsive-looking by many
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  #26  
Old 07-11-2005, 10:51 AM
Biffy the Elephant Shrew Biffy the Elephant Shrew is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thalion
I also read an article from a life-long professional groupie that Huey Lewis has the biggest tool of any musician she had been with.
I believe he was willing to show it for the peeing-in-the-lake scene in Short Cuts, but he couldn't wee-wee on demand (at least not for repeated takes), so what you see in the film is a prosthetic.
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  #27  
Old 07-11-2005, 11:05 AM
An Arky An Arky is offline
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Stiv Bators (R.I.P.) of the Dead Boys apparently packed some major meat.
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  #28  
Old 07-11-2005, 11:18 AM
Mr. Blue Sky Mr. Blue Sky is offline
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Word from the 80's had it that Huey Lewis had quite the schlong.
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  #29  
Old 07-11-2005, 11:24 AM
Revtim Revtim is online now
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In his stand-up, Drew Carey mentions seeing somehow that Brad Pitt is quite well endowed.
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  #30  
Old 07-11-2005, 11:26 AM
plnnr plnnr is offline
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Milton Berle's write-up at findadeath.com speaks to the size of his schwantz
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  #31  
Old 07-11-2005, 11:26 AM
DMark DMark is offline
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Not a single mention of Tommy Lee? And you don't have to do much Googling to see it - or you can just rent the video.

And maybe it was just the lighting on Bonanza, but it seemed that Little Joe wasn't.
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  #32  
Old 07-11-2005, 12:39 PM
Otto Otto is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Revtim
In his stand-up, Drew Carey mentions seeing somehow that Brad Pitt is quite well endowed.
He's not. Or if he is, he's a grower, not a show-er.
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  #33  
Old 07-11-2005, 12:41 PM
Liz Liz is offline
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Peter Steele, frontman of Type O Negative.

Google his Playboy shoot.

And that's all I'm sayin' about that.
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  #34  
Old 07-11-2005, 12:42 PM
Liz Liz is offline
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...er, his PlayGIRL shoot, even.
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  #35  
Old 07-11-2005, 02:03 PM
Skywatcher Skywatcher is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sampiro
Robin Williams was either very very brave or very very cold when he filmed Fisher King.
He talked about the filming of that scene when he was on "Inside the Actors Studio". They weren't able to get the parked closed so the had to settle for a time when it wouldn't be crowded, meaning early morning. Early mornings in Central Park can be quite cold indeed.
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  #36  
Old 07-11-2005, 02:23 PM
Moirai Moirai is offline
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If we're talking Trainspotting here, we can't leave out Ewen Bremner, who played Spud. That boy is hung.

His weenie was even mentioned in the DVD extras! Danny Boyle was lamenting that the scene where Spud's girlfriend strips him while he's passed out went something like this- "So, let's see what we've been missing... (she eyes his member) not much, apparently."

Then they film the scene, and Boyle sees Bremner's cock and just dies. Not much! Hah! They left the scene in, though.
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  #37  
Old 07-11-2005, 02:28 PM
Anaamika Anaamika is online now
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I can't say anything about anybody. I just wanted to chime in and say, this is a great thread. Carry on.
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  #38  
Old 07-11-2005, 02:39 PM
Sampiro Sampiro is offline
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Don Johnson has a reputation as well, as memory serves (the I'm With the Band writer gave him kudos, anyway).

Actually, I remember Steven Weber in Single White Female, and while he may be a grower ╪ shower, he definitely wasn't blessed in that particular scene.

Roddy McDowell had a reputation as well. For the particularly interested, here is a NON-- work-safe link.
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  #39  
Old 07-11-2005, 02:47 PM
Kaspar Hauser Kaspar Hauser is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cliffy
A celebrity of much lesser lights, but comic book writer Roy Thomas is well known in the appropriate circles as being astoundingly well endowed.
I suppose it gives new meaning to the phrase Marvel Bullpen.
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  #40  
Old 07-11-2005, 03:31 PM
Casey1505 Casey1505 is offline
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I had heard that David Spade gets dates not so much because of his personality.
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  #41  
Old 07-11-2005, 03:37 PM
vibrotronica vibrotronica is offline
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Memphis lore holds that Elvis Aron Presley's penis was in the >10-inch range. Ed Sullivan is said to have remarked after The Big E's first TV appearance that he must have some sort of "appliance" in his pants, because no man could be that big.
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  #42  
Old 07-11-2005, 03:40 PM
Baldwin Baldwin is offline
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In the documentary Crumb, I seem to remember Crumb's ex-wife (I believe) saying that his unit was "one of the largest in the world".
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  #43  
Old 07-11-2005, 04:35 PM
pinkfreud pinkfreud is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sampiro
Roddy McDowell had a reputation as well.
YIKES!

No wonder they called him 'Roddy'.
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  #44  
Old 07-11-2005, 04:47 PM
sturmhauke sturmhauke is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guinastasia
Oh, and since photobucket sucks, they resized the original. So I cropped it and uploaded it again, with the lighting fixed for clarification. Here you go.

Why yes, I DO have a dirty mind, thank you for asking!
That looks more like an actual piece of pipe than a male organ. I know if mine were in such a position I'd be in no small discomfort.
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  #45  
Old 07-11-2005, 05:16 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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Look, I'm just going by what was mentioned about the picture. Whether it's what it appears to be, that's for everyone to decide.

Oh, and EwanMcGregor.Net is always good for "research" on this particular topic.
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  #46  
Old 07-11-2005, 06:20 PM
Moirai Moirai is offline
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Roddy! How you doin'?

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  #47  
Old 07-11-2005, 06:28 PM
Tuckerfan Tuckerfan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EJsGirl
Roddy! How you doin'?

Not too well.
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  #48  
Old 07-11-2005, 06:32 PM
Biffy the Elephant Shrew Biffy the Elephant Shrew is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tuckerfan
Yeah, but what a stiff!
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  #49  
Old 07-11-2005, 06:34 PM
Mr. Blue Sky Mr. Blue Sky is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Biffy the Elephant Shrew
Yeah, but what a stiff!

Did they bury him with the lid open?
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  #50  
Old 07-11-2005, 06:40 PM
Moirai Moirai is offline
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Or is it "stiffy?"

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