This is the thread where I recap tonight’s Yahoo fantasy football draft for the SDMB league started by duffer. If you were in the draft, you know what I’m talking about. If you weren’t, you probably don’t care at all about any of this, but you’re welcome to participate in the thread, if you want. You must be pretty weird, though. I’m just sayin’. You want to talk about a league you aren’t even in. That’s weird.
Anyway, it was a good draft. A pretty quick draft, without too many shocking reaches. I’m pretty sure a large majority of owners were live for at least part of the draft, although those who weren’t were soon exposed by their IDP selections. I’m going to give everybody’s draft by round, but I’m going to comment by position group, because first and foremost, there’s no way in hell I’m going to try to pretend I have something to say about every pick, but also for ease of use. My ease. The number after the hyphen is the overall pick, by the way.
The Onan Plague
1 -1 P. Manning
2 -32 T. Gonzalez
3 -33 J. Walker
4 -64 K. Barlow
5 -65 E. Moulds
6 -96 T. Houshmandzadeh
7 -97 J. Elam
8 -128 Buffalo
9 -129 T. McGee
10 -160 J. Glymph
11 -161 C. Benson
12 -192 Al. Smith
13 -193 J. Galloway
14 -224 C. Wilson
15 -225 C. Cooley
16 -256 J. Hall
QB: I’ve heard good things about this Pedro Manning, though I don’t think I’ve ever seen his work. The appropriate first pick in this league – I don’t think there’s any doubt about that. Alex Smith I wouldn’t expect much from, but who cares? If Manning goes down you basically have a team with no first or second rounder anyway, so why sweat the depth?
RB: How about that Peyton Manning, huh? The prevailing wisdom in fantasy football is that you win with backs, and this is about as slim as pickings get in that regard, but you know what? Screw it. You only need to start one, and Barlow is serviceable; plus if Benson A) signs, B) learns the offense, and C) doesn’t suck, you’ve got that going for you. In a league this size it’s hard not to punt at least one position, anyway.
WR: Walker is one of a handful who has a serious shot to be the top wideout under this scoring scheme. Houshmandzadeh had a very quietly productive (or productively quiet, maybe) year last year, although he seems like he drops more balls than he should. He’s also batshit crazy, just like the rest of that Oregon State team was, but I think he could jump up to a higher level of production this year. It is, however, an odd-numbered year, so unfortunately Eric Moulds must spend the year in a secret Soviet prison, and his doppelganger, who’s a much more mediocre player, is the “Eric Moulds” you get. It’s a shame, really. Cedrick Wilson could end up as a pretty good value there.
TE/K/Def: You should probably get your Glymphs checked out. I don’t think that’s normal.
Outlook: OK, who the fuck knows? No way I’m going to try to handicap this league. 16 teams? Somebody else can do this part.
Final4
1 -2 L. Tomlinson
2 -31 C. Johnson
3 -34 B. Favre
4 -63 M. Bennett
5 -66 J. Witten
6 -95 Ro. Smith
7 -98 R. Longwell
8 -127 K. Gbaja-Biamila
9 -130 Pittsburgh
10 -159 J. Miller
11 -162 K. McCardell
12 -191 J. Kleinsasser
13 -194 W. Poole
14 -223 P. Daniels
15 -226 C. Hutchinson
16 -255 C. Buckhalter
QB: Favre doesn’t have it anymore. Hell, by this point, my performance in saying “Favre doesn’t have it anymore” is slipping. It’s been awhile since he was an elite quarterback, is what I’m saying. Chad Hutchinson is a diamond in the rough, and is going to someday finish an entire season with a perfect QB rating. I’m kidding, of course. He’s an awful player, an awful man, and he probably smells like hoagie. I hate to say it, since I’ve seen the letters duffer writes to Brett Favre, but Culpepper would’ve looked awful good here.
RB: LT’s the closest thing to a sure thing you can get, and a full point per catch certainly doesn’t hurt. Buckhalter’s done for the year, which is really very sad. Vikings running backs… your guess is as good as Mike Tice’s. Probably much better. All in all, a decent group, but it won’t carry you.
WR: Chad Johnson: monster. Rod Smith doesn’t score, but that won’t hurt that much in this league, so he could be a real nice find. Dangerously shallow at this spot, especially with the age of these guys.
TE/K/Def: A good pair of tight ends (hey, it’s my Christmas list!) Two of those IDP’ers will probably end up as receivers.
Fightin’ Quakers
1 -3 S. Alexander
2 -30 B. Westbrook
3 -35 M. Bulger
4 -62 I. Bruce
5 -67 P. Burress
6 -94 L. Fitzgerald
7 -99 L. Smith
8 -126 Philadelphia
9 -131 C. Williams
10 -158 K. Warner
11 -163 D. Freeney
12 -190 M. Pollard
13 -195 L. Tynes
14 -222 J. Azumah
15 -227 T. Henry
16 -254 T. Cox
QB: Bulger, by my count, is the best quarterback that doesn’t cost you at every other position. Warner has some serious weapons down there, so who’s to say he can’t put it back together? Not a bad mix, although in a league this deep you might be better off with a safer backup.
RB: I love Westbrook, which will be (not incorrectly) dubbed homerism. Still, this league is going to reward yardage in any form, which B-Rabbit specializes in, plus there’s the point per catch. Also, he might end up returning a little bit as well. Westbrook is a guy I had double-underlined and starred on my mental draft list. Then I passed on him. Nevertheless, I like the pick. Oh, and the dude on the Seahawks is all right, too. Gruden likes to throw the ball to his backs, and Cadillac can do that, so he could contribute as well. By the way, Travis Henry is about a 70% probability-of-happening knee blowout from being a featured back again, and he went 227th. Am I gushing? I’m gushing. Too bad there’s only two available slots for backs.
WR: It’s not great, but it’ll work. Isaac Bruce is another guy who’s more valuable in this league than elsewhere. Fitzgerald and Burress might go the other way, though.
Etc: E…A…G…L…E…S…EAGLES! Lawrence Tynes broke a bouncer’s nose.
**Ellis Dee **
1 -4 T. Barber
2 -29 L. Jordan
3 -36 J. Shockey
4 -61 C. Pennington
5 -68 L. Evans
6 -93 A. Toomer
7 -100 E. Manning
8 -125 New York
9 -132 J. Feely
10 -157 M. Strahan
11 -164 G. Wilson
12 -189 D. Tyree
13 -196 M. Nugent
14 -221 D. Blaylock
15 -228 T. Law
16 -253 O. Umenyiora
QB: Four words: Crap Shoot O Rama. Most likely this will be a mediocre group, but Pennington’s done it before, at least. I like Manning more than most. It’s like, you can look at the stats and that will tell you something, but what you see on the field sometimes tells a lot more. I think he’s closer to his brother than his pop. That doesn’t mean anything this year, though.
RB: ED lucked out by pulling a draft slot that allowed him to take Tiki. Just an awesome year last year, and again, he’s a guy that this league will bump up to another level of importance. Having Jordan as the backup is ideal – it’s all profit if he meets expectation.
WR: Amani Toomer runs a 4-5 40. Four minutes and five minutes. Sorry. Breaking rank and grabbing Evans kept the team from immediate cellar status, although Coles would’ve been a serious asset. All in all, this is actually a viable fantasy team, which is more impressive than it sounds.
Etc: Law won’t help in fantasy; Wilson will. Should’ve gotten Vilma. Shockey will probably be better this year.
Scurvy Dogs
1 -5 P. Holmes
2 -28 T. Green
3 -37 J. Horn
4 -60 D. Staley
5 -69 J. Porter
6 -92 A. Vinatieri
7 -101 Da. Clark
8 -124 Tampa Bay
9 -133 Ro. Williams
10 -156 N. Greisen
11 -165 R. Droughns
12 -188 G. Frerotte
13 -197 R. Caldwell
14 -220 T. Glenn
15 -229 M. Bryant
16 -252 Houston
QB: It’s good to have a guy you can count on to put up big yards and decent scoring numbers week in and week out; where you don’t have to worry about matchups and stuff at the QB slot. I think we can all agree Gus Frerotte is that guy.
RB: Priest Holmes had such a goddamned ridiculous season last year, and nobody talks about it. It’s like acknowledging the absurdity of his numbers would break the Matrix or something: 14 rushing touchdowns in eight games? Are you serious? What kind of a world are we living in? If you had a guy with 15 (total) scores in week nine of a Madden season, you’d have to reset that crap, bump up the difficulty, and start all over. That’s the problem: Priest Holmes is not realistic. In fact, he’s so unrealistic that taking Duce Staley in the fourth round despite the fact that he’s out for at least four weeks and he doesn’t get red-zone touches anyway somehow became a good pick. I’m ambivalent about Droughns – what if he just does it again? Wouldn’t that be weird?
WR: Joe Horn is a sure thing. Porter’s anything but. The depth here is sketchy.
Etc: I’m not done talking about Holmes. He had seven rushing touchdowns in two weeks. If he rushes for 40 touchdowns this year, you aren’t even allowed to be surprised. The warning signs are all there. Oh, also, this team appeared to be autodrafted and half the players are going to need to be cut.
Breakdancing Ducks
1 -6 R. Moss
2 -27 A. Gates
3 -38 Baltimore
4 -59 B. Roethlisberger
5 -70 M. Anderson
6 -91 D. Branch
7 -102 R. Lewis
8 -123 R. Harrison
9 -134 M. Faulk
10 -155 J. Hanson
11 -166 T. Dwight
12 -187 L. Suggs
13 -198 P. Price
14 -219 C. Bailey
15 -230 D. Flutie
16 -251 P. Warrick
QB: I don’t like it. If Roethlisberger throws for 150 yards a game, the Steelers will be thrilled. That sucks. It’s like, the sky is the limit, but in reverse. Hey, the Browns are weak against the run; let’s see if we can play a whole half without throwing a single pass! I just don’t like it.
RB: Two carry-splitting guys and a fading Faulk. As long as Anderson is getting the carries, though, you’re good for this position. If things are looking up you can start one of the other guys.
WR: Dwight and Warrick are close to unemployed, but Price is better than 200th, even if he doesn’t perform like it, and Branch is underrated (and I hope he burns in hell). Moss is Moss.
Etc: Seems like not enough star power – Gates is great, but not in the second round. Getting to round five with no backs and one receiver is an unconventional strategy, certainly, but what do I know?
**Hermit’s Hermans **
1 -7 E. James
2 -26 C. Brown
3 -39 T. Brady
4 -58 M. Muhammad
5 -71 B. Stokley
6 -90 D. Graham
7 -103 C. Palmer
8 -122 C. Rogers
9 -135 T. Polamalu
10 -154 J. Farrior
11 -167 J. Bettis
12 -186 D. Patten
13 -199 Ma. Jones
14 -218 N. Kaeding
15 -231 Jacksonville
16 -250 A. Randle El
QB: Steady. Throw these guys in the pot with all the rest of the quarterbacks out there, and try to take advantage of matchups. I’m not a big Palmer guy, though it seems many are.
RB: Well, you’ve got Edge, which means at the very least you’ve got nothing to worry about. Chris Brown can put up numbers, too, and at least you don’t have to have him healthy every week. Bettis was a good value.
WR: Steady again, with an option on “Really fucking good.” See that catch Matt Jones made? If somebody in Chicago can direct the ball through the air with some sort of awareness, and/or if one of the Colts’ other weapons misses time, these guys could be awesome.
Etc: Nothing of note.
**Bring Back Ryan Leaf **
1 -8 D. Culpepper
2 -25 S. Jackson
3 -40 A. Johnson
4 -57 D. Foster
5 -72 Ro. Williams
6 -89 J. Wiggins
7 -104 D. Akers
8 -121 New York
9 -136 N. Clements
10 -153 Ru. Davis
11 -168 T. Duckett
12 -185 K. Boller
13 -200 S. Parker
14 -217 A. Davis
15 -232 J. Scobee
16 -249 Detroit
QB: In terms of fantasy points, when you include rushing yards in the equation, Culpepper is the equivalent of a 5700-yard passer. I’m pretty sure that would be a record. He’s thrown five incomplete passes through three preseason games. He good.
RB: Hard to say. I was pretty high on Jackson last year, and I guess I still am as a rusher, but he scares me in that offense. He can’t do the things Faulk does, and you know Martz places the passing game way above anything else, so I can’t help but wonder how much of the field Faulk’s going to see. Foster’s another high-risk high-reward type. With Culpepper and these receivers, it’s a good fit, though.
WR: Ah, these receivers. I had my finger on the button for both Johnson and Roy Williams. The Williams pick really, really pissed me off, because I thought I had the steal of steals with him. Everybody in between probably thought that, too. Yeah, they’re good.
Etc: IDP really doesn’t matter, anyway.
Fighting Gorillas
1 -9 W. McGahee
2 -24 C. Martin
3 -41 R. Wayne
4 -56 L. Coles
5 -73 M. Vick
6 -88 E. Johnson
7 -105 M. Stover
8 -120 Carolina
9 -137 A. Rossum
10 -152 J. Wilkerson
11 -169 L. Johnson
12 -184 D. Bledsoe
13 -201 K. Robinson
14 -216 J. Pathon
15 -233 R. Lindell
16 -248 Arizona
QB: Not great, not an albatross. Waiting this long served you pretty well.
RB: Two studs, which is what you really hope for in any draft. As far down as Martin could possibly slip, McGahee will probably improve at least that much, so either way you’re golden. Larry Johnson should have won the freaking Heisman that one year, man. He got like nine yards a carry against good defenses. Sorry.
WR: Wayne’s as good a bet as anybody, and I think, like many do, that Coles is going to jump right back up to his old production this year. Hey, maybe Koren Robinson will finally put it together! This could be the year!
Etc: Again, I have nothing useful to add. IDP turned out to be a dud so far, didn’t it?
**Win It For Tedy **
1 -10 D. Davis
2 -23 T. Holt
3 -42 H. Ward
4 -55 S. Smith
5 -74 F. Taylor
6 -87 J. Delhomme
7 -106 B. Franks
8 -119 S. McNair
9 -138 E. Reed
10 -151 J. Peppers
11 -170 T. Calico
12 -183 M. Moore
13 -202 M. Jenkins
14 -215 J. Carney
15 -234 Chicago
16 -247 B. Watson
QB: Eh.
RB: Davis had the seventh-best season overall on a per-game basis last year under our settings, regardless of position. If they keep throwing it to him that will probably continue. When Taylor gets hurt, you’re going to be like “Shit. I’m not surprised.”
WR: 270 catches out of your first three picks, probably. A lock to be great, a lock to be very good, and a lock to be good, respectively. Calico’s worth taking a flyer on, especially after these three.
Etc: I’m not quite feeling the IDP picks so early, but at least you got good ones, I suppose. Does Bubba Franks really give you that special feeling?
**Ricky’s Reefer Sting **
1 -11 C. Dillon
2 -22 T. Bell
3 -43 N. Burleson
4 -54 B. Leftwich
5 -75 D. Mason
6 -86 R. Williams
7 -107 J. Plummer
8 -118 M. Williams
9 -139 Minnesota
10 -150 B. Troupe
11 -171 M. Pittman
12 -182 Ma. Clayton
13 -203 J. Reed
14 -214 D. Groce
15 -235 N. Davenport
16 -246 K. Jenkins
QB: Plummer’s actually much better than that. There’s really no reason for him to go in the 7th round of this draft. Leftwich has a big arm and apparently really likes the new offense, so you should be in fine shape.
RB: Tatum Bell’s a decent-sized risk in the second round, but Dillon’s the opposite of a risk. A risk to be cursed at through the TV by me, maybe (and by maybe I mean, fuck you, Corey-through-the-TV). The Ricky pick was probably wast- uh, probably squandered, but even if he only plays three games after he gets in shape, that could be 400 yards rushing and a few scores for your troubles. Speaking of legal troubles, Michael Pittman had a phenomenal year for our purposes last season, so if he gets on the field he could be put to good use. Also, if you ever have laundry that you really want to wash, but it isn’t dirty, just put it in the hamper. You are covered.
WR: Culpepper’s going to throw for a lot of yards, so somebody’s gotta catch the ball, right? Mason was also a good pick. Pretty solid group.
Etc: Did you know Najeh Davenport crapped in a hamper?
**The Wizzinators **
1 -12 J. Lewis
2 -21 R. Johnson
3 -44 D. Jackson
4 -53 C. Chambers
5 -76 A. Brooks
6 -85 R. McMichael
7 -108 S. Graham
8 -117 Indianapolis
9 -140 F. Washington
10 -149 J. Gaffney
11 -172 J. Harrington
12 -181 A. Schobel
13 -204 M. Shipp
14 -213 J. Putzier
15 -236 R. Curry
16 -245 S. Heiden
QB: Scary, man. Will he throw for 4000 yards? Will he throw the ball backwards at his right tackle? Will he do both? Can we even be sure which of your quarterbacks I’m wondering about?
RB: I love those SEC backs. Ride those big bastards to freedom.
WR: Probably in for a lot of up and down weeks with this crew, which highlights the value of your backs even more. Curry was definitely worth taking a shot on – I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up as an every week starter. I wouldn’t be that surprised if he didn’t, either.
Etc: You should lose like eighty points every week for having the Colts defense. What kind of fantasy is this, when you get rewarded for that? Jason Sehorn’s fantasy?
(Continued)
