Ask the Highly Sensitive Person

In My Humble Opinion
1

This statement, which is clearly a personal opinion and not backed by anything (credentials, research) as far as I know, was one that I had to refute. Not Pit, because it’s probably too “lame.”

As a person who has had several mental health care professionals diagnose me as a highly sensitive person, I have to disagree with PriceGuy. I found the book to be quite helpful in recovering from the sense that I was somehow “damaged goods,” a sense instilled in me from childhood by those who misunderstood sensitivity as a trait and me as a person.

To your claim, I offer this cite . After you read it, you are still not obliged to “believe” in sensitivity as a trait, but at least you can’t rightly claim that it is “pseudoscience.” So, the self-test seems unscientific to you? It’s only meant as a jumping-off point. Its purpose isn’t to diagnose an illness, but to recognize an innate trait, like thrill-seeking (which is accepted even by non-mental health scientists as real, with a corresponding gene being identified, etc.).

Maybe I’m wrong about PriceGuy having credentials or research or some other data to back up his opinion; he’s welcome to post any of that here. I’m not interested in picking a fight with him, but doing my part to fight a perceived ignorance. I welcome any comments or questions that would contribute to that goal.

2

While I’m inclined, just from the anecdotal evidence of people I’ve known, to believe that there is such a thing as a Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Aron’s arguments on that page are pretty much of the straw-man variety. And the three scientific articles she lists on the topic were all authored or co-authored by Dr. Aron herself.

3

I’m confused by the term “sensitive.” I read the links, and I’m still confused. Do you mean sensitive as in (a) reacts more emotionally to things then other people, (b) is more perceptive to things other people can perceive (e.g., sees colors more brightly, hears sounds more clearly), or © perceives things that other people really can’t perceive at all (i.e., psychic)?

4

Definitely not (c). (B) is closer, but (a) is slightly in the ballpark, too.

Think of sensitivity as a continuum. On the one end, you’d have people who are paralyzed or otherwise unable to perceive light, sound, touch, scents, etc. On the other end, you’d have those who notice the slightest amount of change in these things. Most people would be in the middle, with tapering occuring on each side. It’s not about emotional reactions, but there is a corresponding level of importance that a more highly-sensitive person gives to these sensory perceptions, and that can react with a certain kind of upbringing to cause a person to display a greater emotional reaction to, say a noisy environment, than someone in the middle range.

Example: I’m very competent at my job. But - if the environment I’m in is too hot, too cold, too bright, too dark, too noisy, too quiet, has too many things going on around me, etc., it impairs my ability to function well at my job. The more external stimuli, the more impaired I become, to the point where I can completely “shut down” and feel the need to escape all the stimuli. It’s essentially about homeostatis.

Another example: I’m sleeping, and I am awakened by a sense that the ground is moving. My SO does not have any ability to sense this movement. Yet it is objectively recorded on seismic equipment.

Yet another: I’m usually the first person in a room to become aware of an approaching scent. A few moments later, others will confirm its presence. As a side note, a person can & often does have emotional reactions particularly to scent.

Last one: my SO likes to rub my feet, and it feels good - up to a point, after which it approaches a feeling that is not quite but almost painful. This baffles him completely, but I’m overstimulated. My cat (when she was alive) would get overstimulated, as well - enough petting and she’d want to escape from it. And it takes a lot less to stimulate me than it would the “average” person.

Does that help?

5

And were published in respected professional journals - not self-published. I don’t see the problem. Maybe you can demonstrate why Dr. Aron’s arguments are straw-men for me?

6

YaWanna, how does your sensitivity manifest in your everyday life? Specifically, do you find your reactions to common stimuli are vastly different from those of people around you to the same stimuli? How?

I am interested in the validity of the test you present. Some of the questions seem like anybody would answer yes - “Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me, disrupting my concentration or mood” - and others are very context-specific - for instance, I am made uncomfortable by some loud noises (eg. automobiles while I walk down the street; music I don’t like) and not by others (eg. when I’m on my bike I pay no attention to the cars; on several occasions I have slept, quite comfortably, less than fifty feet away from three giant sound stages). My sense of smell is acute (I know what you’re having for dinner because I walked past your front door which was left open), but my hearing is terrible (sorry, can we rewind the movie, I didn’t hear any of that last scene).

I understand that your own diagnosis with high sensitivity has been very helpful to you. However, I wonder how reliable and valid the test is for others. By the looks of it I would be considered “highly sensitive,” but I would not describe myself that way. Although I have not seen the materials provided to people with this diagnosis, I would imagine that they would not be helpful for me and could, in fact, be counter-productive.

So another question: do you have other tests which might address my questions about validity and reliability?

I don’t want to (further) hijack your thread into a discussion about the scientific validity of the trait of high sensitivity, but I am interested in how the test’s diagnoses reflect people’s own self-diagnoses. Perhaps we should open another thread?

7

So does touching fiberglass feel like shards of glass painfully poking into your skin?

Is drinking orange juice like drinking boiling acid?

Does a vibrator feel bad?

Does music make your head ache after a while?

If a smell hangs around too long, does it make you feel sick?

Does that tag on the back of your collar drive you fucking insane?

8

I don’t think I react “differently” than other people. I think I react sooner & more intensely, maybe. I do get quite irritable when stimuli “intrude” on me - I guess maybe I have a feeling like violation and defensiveness. There is a narrower range of physical comfort for me than for most people I know. I’m not all that good at blocking out unpleasant sensations, and I tend to become preoccupied by them until they go away.

On the other hand, thanks to rock & roll music and my impetuous teen years :slight_smile: , I have a certain amount of nerve damage to my ears - my hearing is impaired by tinnitus. When I get a fever or sinus headache, the tinnitus becomes so loud, it makes it difficult to understand what people are saying. So my comprehension of the stimulus is affected, more than my perception of it. Likewise, I am somewhat nearsighted - so I see things fuzzy that are farther away than a few yards. But I always catch motion going on around me right away.

Other tests? I don’t have 'em. I didn’t even know about the website until today - I know about HSP because a therapist diagnosed me and sent me to class at a clinic, and both the therapist & the clinic recommended that I read the book, which I have. I may not have any tests for the validity or reliability of the trait, but hey, I’m not a scientist. I’m relying on the information presented by others who’ve done the research. I firmly believe that more research will produce more objective data that will eventually make sensitivity as accepted as a valid trait as thrill-seeking.

The good thing about Dr. Aron’s work is that it does not feed into the “victim cult.” It’s not about saying “you have to treat me special, because I have this trait.” It’s about saying to people who do have the trait, “you just haven’t been educated about your trait, here’s some information to help you cope with the world as it is, within the framework of the way your perceptions affect you.” A good thing, IMHO.

9

No - but I might be able to feel a scratch in it that someone else would not.

No. But I might be able to tell when it’s not fresh any more before you.

No personal experience with a vibrator. But I can tell you, I can’t take direct clitoral stimulation - it is almost painful to me.

No - I love music. I notice all the different instruments, I notice when it’s off-key. If it’s too loud, it might give me a headache -especially if I can’t control the volume. Now, rap makes me feel homicidal toward the idiot subjecting me to it - and so does loud, thumping bass.

Only if it’s unpleasant, or has an unpleasant memory attached to it. If I like it, though, I might derive more joy from it than most people could understand.

If it’s itchy. In which case, I’ll cut it out.

10

I’m hsp too, with two kids who are also hsp, and my father and grandfather as well. I knew what this was even before Elaine Aron researched it, because that’s the conclusion I came to on my own when trying to explain my differences to others. I simply explained that my senses seemed to have very few filters.

It’s not a deformity or disease. It’s an amazing gift, and it can cause difficulties too. For this single hsp mother it has been agonizingly difficult to raise an aggressive hsp male child. He’s now living with his father.

The OP link to the contested statement didn’t work, but I’m hoping you’re referring to the one in the ‘feels better than an orgasm’ thread. It ticked me off, but I didn’t have the energy to battle it out. Thanks for taking it on.

I’d like to agree that the screening test on the website is really lame. It oversimplifies something that is extremely complex in its manifestations.

11

I’m another HSP. I agree with everything being said in this thread about what it’s like. Many people in my family are highly sensitive. Many of my friends and coworkers are not highly sensitive, and there are major differences between those that are and those that are not.

I can not handle being touched in the same place over and over, like someone absentmindedly rubbing my forearm. It starts to be painful very soon. I can walk into a room and almost instantly know the interpersonal dynamics of those in it. Sensations such as hunger, pain, cold, and heat seem to affect me a lot more than they do most others. OTOH, so do enjoyable sensations such as love, pleasure from music and other arts, and orgasms. Whee! There are several other subtle and not-so-subtle differences, way too many to go into here.

If someone that doubts such a thing exists could live inside my body for a couple of days, they would probably change their mind.

12

My (almost 4yo) daughter was scared at the first half of Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit. Does that make her “highly sensitive”?

13

My physical senses tend to be normal. I smell things others don’t, but don’t smell others that everybody else seems to be. My hearing is probably sub-par, and my sense of touch is normal. I would say that I am highly perceptive to temperature increases and decreases. But I am pretty sensitive to perceptual overload. When I go shopping, my brain overloads, and my thoughts turn foggy and sluggish. This happens quite often, as if I have no mental stamina.

Does this qualify?

14

Having a low threshold for external stimuli is a part of being highly sensitive, but then there are people with a low threshold for stimuli that are not highly sensitive. It’s a whole 'nother condition, in and of itself.

15

Hey, Epimetheus and DaddyTimesTwo - it’s great that you’re interested in the subject, but I’m not qualified to diagnose anyone else as highly sensitive (especially based on a reaction to a movie I haven’t seen!). If you seriously would like to explore the idea, you might start by reading the book, and then, if you still need more answers, you could discuss the trait with a health care (mental or physical) professional that is familiar with the concept. In particular, DaddyTimesTwo should consider reading Dr. Aron’s book about rearing a highly sensitive child, if his daughter seems to exhibit many of the characteristics - it seems to me that good parenting makes a huge difference in preventing self-image problems in HSP kids. One of the critical issues is helping kids to recognize when they are overwhelmed with sensory input, and what they can do to cope.

16

Since I was referenced by name in this thread, I feel obliged to respond. Sorry for missing it until now (you could have linked to it in the original thread; I’d have been here much quicker). This post will also be more of a Great Debates nature.

I cannot present any evidence or studies, but I’m not the one making the claim. What I am seeing is a rather loose claim with no evidence or studies backing it up. Of course, it’s all about definitions: at what point does something become a “trait” that you can test for rather than a normal variation, like, say my love for raspberries?

The self-test, however, is incredibly loaded. Just going through the test and checking the questions that virtually anybody would check got me fifteen. A score of fourteen or higher means you probably have the trait. Even a lower score, if you feel particularly strong about certain of the questions, can mean you have the trait.

Now, of course there are some people who are more sensitive (however you define it) than others. But this doesn’t mean anything like the Highly Sensitive Person trait exists. If it does, and if the self-test is good at identifying it, the ratio is vastly higher than the 15-20% ratio cited on the website.

Now to your cite. I’ll go through it point by point.

“It’s Nothing New” - well, it isn’t, but that has nothing to do with anything, so I’ll let this one be.

“It’s Just Another Self-Help Book (That Is, Just Written To Make Money)” - yep, that sums up my position. She has a website designed precisely to sell the books, including a very loaded test to make sure anybody who takes it will want to buy the books. She claims to base her books on “strong research”, but where is it? I can’t find it on the site (please point it out if it is there). I’d like to know what kind of studies she made, the methodology, the number of subjects, things like that.

“Speaking To Medical Professionals” - not much to say here. It’s all based on accepting the existence of the trait in the first place.

“What About Psychologists and Psychotherapists?” - see above.

“What About the “Hard Core” Scientist?” - haven’t read the articles, so cannot comment. Would like to read them, though.

In short, I can’t see the strong research and hard science she claims is there, and the nature of the site and the self-test doesn’t increase her credibility.

For reference, these are the fifteen questions that I think anyone would check. Note that there are several others I could well have checked, but I erred on the side of caution.

I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.
Other people’s moods affect me.
I have a rich,complex inner life.
I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.
I am deeply moved by the arts or music.
I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.
I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.
I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.
I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me.
Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me,disrupting my concentration or mood.
Changes in my life shake me up.
I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.
I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.
I am bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises or chaotic scenes.
When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.

17

I work in fiberglass. It should feel like shards of glass painfully poking into your skin. That’s what it is!

18

Actually, I wouldn’t have checked several of these…

No to both of these. I’m not a very emotional person, and don’t tend to pick up on others’ emotions very easily. And subtleties? Hah. An attorney and a secretary in my company’s legal department (which is located right next to my department), who I talk to every day, got married to each other at the beginning of October. Despite company-wide emails announcing this, and a grand wedding shower that was held at the company, and both of them being on vacation for the first week of October, guess when I realized they got married? Reading the company newsletter two days ago.

Nope. I’m quite used to multitasking and working in high-activity environments.

Growing up in a home with four younger siblings and a hyperactive mother, I became very good at tuning out external interference.

I suspect I would not test as a very sensitive person.

19

So you’re saying that other people’s moods don’t affect you? Think about it. Angry people all around you, people crying and so forth. It doesn’t affect you? And you’re not bothered by loud noises at all? You work just as well in silence as when boomboxes are blasting terrible music or someone is powerdrilling in your vicinity? You’re also unaffected by stress, apparently.

You did highlight one point that I neglected to mention: several of the questions are basically repeats of one another.

20

I consider myself a highly sensitive person, to the point where I have actively learned how to not over-identify with everyone else’s emotions for my own mental health (I posted about this in another thread just today, as a matter of fact), and I appreciate the idea of the highly sensitive person, and I appreciate that it isn’t being thrown around as a victim du jour idea. I don’t consider myself handicapped by being extremely sensitive; I don’t always consider it a gift, when I’m rocked by other people’s emotions, but I use it like any other talent or skill to help me in my day-to-day life.