If Elvis was alive right now?

[don't ask]

An hour ago I was watching TV with my son and after an ad for tomorrow night's Elvis the hosts of Australian Idol came on to ask, "What do you think Elvis woul;d be doing if he was alive right now?" Jordan muttered, "Scratching at the lid of the coffin." And I burst out laughing. Channel 10 should have used that line.

[Mahaloth]

If Elvis was alive today, he'd probably be thinking, "How can I eat the way I do and still be alive? My cholestorol is over 300!"

[twickster]

Elvis is alive right now -- he's curled up in my lap, purring.

Oh, we're not talking about my cat? My bad.

[Annie-Xmas]

He could play the lead in a movie about the last ten years in the life of Marlon Brando

[Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy]

When I first read the thread title that was what I thinking, scratching at the lid of his coffin.

[Stark Raven Mad]

Could have sworn I'd read that in Fight Club.

[ElvisL1ves]

Where did you get the silly notion that he isn't?

[blondebear]

Perhaps he'd have a chain of fast food places that offered fried peanut butter-banana sandwiches?

[ElvisL1ves]

More seriously, if Elvis were active today, he'd have his own theater in Branson, packing the Midwestern retirees in from their RV's night after night for one or two token songs, perhaps a medley, with some dance group and warmup act doing most of the work. He might spend his time schmoozing with the old blue-hair ladies up front, like Don Ho does.

[Spatial Rift 47]

Originally Posted by Stark Raven Mad

Could have sworn I'd read that in Fight Club.

It was Marilyn Monroe in Fight Club.


So what would Elvis be doing? He'd be chillin' with Marilyn. It's Clawing Night at the Coffin Lounge.

[FlyingRamenMonster]

He'd be really old.

[susan_foster]

Originally Posted by blondebear

Perhaps he'd have a chain of fast food places that offered fried peanut butter-banana sandwiches?

I was looking through one of my cookbooks, and found a recipe for PB and Bacon muffins. Will have to try and make them someday.

Susan

[Dragwyr]

Originally Posted by ElvisL1ves

More seriously, if Elvis were active today, he'd have his own theater in Branson, packing the Midwestern retirees in from their RV's night after night for one or two token songs, perhaps a medley, with some dance group and warmup act doing most of the work. He might spend his time schmoozing with the old blue-hair ladies up front, like Don Ho does.

Just as likely, he would have his own standing show in Las Vegas... probably at the Las Vegas Hilton, or perhaps the Mirage. He would play 3 shows a night, 6 nights per week and never have to leave his hotel as they would provide him with everything he would need to live out the rest of his existance.

Funny. I look back on this post and it doesn't look at all like a glarmorous lifestyle more than it looks like life in endentured servitude.

[PunditLisa]

Elvis was incredibly insecure. His career was waning when he died, thanks to a generation gap and his own self destruction.

Methinks that had Elvis survived that 'fat years' he would have become a recluse a la Howard Hughes. He was too famous to live a normal life, too insecure to try another come back, and too rich to need to work.

[Mr. Blue Sky]

Originally Posted by Dragwyr

Just as likely, he would have his own standing show in Las Vegas... probably at the Las Vegas Hilton, or perhaps the Mirage. He would play 3 shows a night, 6 nights per week and never have to leave his hotel as they would provide him with everything he would need to live out the rest of his existance.

Funny. I look back on this post and it doesn't look at all like a glarmorous lifestyle more than it looks like life in endentured servitude.

This was addressed in the pilot episode of Sliders. When Quinn is driving in the alternate universe, he sees a billboard advertising Elvis in Vegas.

[Zebra]

I think he would be in a rest home in Texas under an assumed name.

Maby battling mummies that suck the souls out of people through their ass.

[Spatial Rift 47]

Originally Posted by Zebra

I think he would be in a rest home in Texas under an assumed name.

Maby battling mummies that suck the souls out of people through their ass.

You win.

[rjk]

Originally Posted by susan_foster

I was looking through one of my cookbooks, and found a recipe for PB and Bacon muffins. Will have to try and make them someday.

Susan

I found this recipe in a cookbook called Bake it Like a Man. (The cover has a guy with a big toolbelt loaded with whisks and spatulas and wooden spoons and all that sort of stuff.) I've posted it before, but it's quick, so here it is again.

Flaming Elvis

1 loaf of French bread
1 pound bacon
1 jar peanut butter
Jalapenos to taste
(I'd also use plenty of garlic, but it isn't in the original.)

Chop the jalapenos (and garlic), mix with the peanut butter, and set aside. Cook the bacon until crisp, and drain on paper towels. Split the French bread, toast under a pre-heated broiler, spread top and bottom with the peanut butter mixture, and pile on the bacon before closing it up. Slice off chunks to serve.

I think Elvis would be eating one right now, maybe with PB-and-banana for dessert.

[ccwaterback]

Let's see, Elvis would be 70 if he was still around. I don't think he could belt out the tunes like he did 30 or 40 years ago. He would probably be playing backup guitar for some unknown bar band in Wyoming.

Actually, I think the Big E would be very involved with the music scene, especially all of the "Live Aid" things going on. Love him, or hate him, the man had a heart of gold.

[ElvisL1ves]

Originally Posted by Dragwyr

Just as likely, he would have his own standing show in Las Vegas.

I don't think he'd be nearly the cultural icon he is now if he hadn't died. Elvis idolatry didn't really exist before then and wouldn't exist now, not with his public image being the old wastrel, probably rehabilitated from his drug addictions - think of a fat Keith Richards, for instance. No, I think he'd be just another oldies act embarrassing himself on stage, but needing the money anyway after pissing it all away back when he could make a lot of it. I'll stick with Branson, not Vegas.

[Doctor Jackson]

"What do you think Elvis woul;d be doing if he was alive right now?"

Crystal Meth.

[5que]

Originally Posted by blondebear

Perhaps he'd have a chain of fast food places that offered fried peanut butter-banana sandwiches?

Went to a Perkins restaurant in Wisconsin, and they had peanut butter and banana french toast.

I've had grilled PB & 'nanner sandwiches -- PB gets a bit runny, though. I grew up in the south eating PB on sliced bananas.

[velvetjones]

He would have gotten clean with the help of a variety of 12 step programs, opened his own series of clinics and be doing motivational speeches and selling self help books and CDs.

People would barely remember that he used to sing.

[Imasquare]

Originally Posted by ElvisL1ves

I don't think he'd be nearly the cultural icon he is now if he hadn't died. Elvis idolatry didn't really exist before then...

I wouldn't be too sure about that. Right up until he died he was still playing sold out concerts.

And I've seen footage of his last concert. The crowd was huge and his singing was really horrible. So they weren't coming because he was still good, but rather because he was Elvis.

[jackelope]

Quentin Tarantino said in an interview a while back that if Elvis were alive, Tarantino would desperately have wanted Elvis to play Bill in the Kill Bill movies. Ever since I heard him say that, I can't get over the thought of how unbelievably awesome that would have been. Elvis had amazing charisma and could dominate a movie screen like nobody's business, plus he famously had martial arts training.

If he were alive now he would by necessity have gotten himself clean and taken up some kind of healthy(-er) lifestyle. I suspect he'd still be recording, continuing to sing the gospel music he loved (and for which he won his only Grammys). I hope, and strongly suspect, that he'd still be living here in Memphis. Assuming he had some shrewd business advisers, he'd be insanely wealthy, having made $4.2 billion up to 1977.

[Guinastasia]

He'd be spitting nails over Lisa Marie being involved with Scientology and marrying Michael Jackson.

[jackelope]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

He'd be spitting nails over Lisa Marie being involved with Scientology and marrying Michael Jackson.

Eh, I think he'd be over it by now. She's turning out OK. She was a little, ah, "confused" for a while there, but heck, so was I; it's probably best for the morale of the nation as a whole that I wasn't followed around by TV cameras during the early 1990s.

Jacko, however, would have actually needed all that cosmetic surgery when E got done with him.

[NicePete]

Originally Posted by Doctor Jackson

Crystal Meth.

You win at the internet!

[ElvisL1ves]

Originally Posted by Imasquare

I wouldn't be too sure about that. Right up until he died he was still playing sold out concerts.

But so were a lot of people who are now headlining in Branson. The quasi-religious stuff really didn't take off while he was (corporeally) alive.

There's a legend about a Hollywood agent who, upon hearing of Elvis' death, paused, nodded, and commented "Good career move." Turns out he was right.

[velvetjones]

Elvis for president in 2008!