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  #1  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:09 PM
Lizard Lizard is offline
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In all seriousness, I've been considering it. It's been so long since I got action of any kind that I've almost overcome my built in inhibitions against such a thing. Before you label me an amoral cad, let me give you the following details:

-I am completely single. I'm not even dating anyone right now.
-I would use a condom, maybe two at once, so as not to put myself or any of my future lovers at risk of VD.
-I would not pick up some drug-addicted woman off the street but would call one of those numbers listed in the phonebook.

So how about it? Should I? Shouldn't I? Guys, under what circumstances would you do what I'm contemplating? Ladies, would you ever had anything to do with a guy who once hired a hooker? Is it less objectionable if I just get a bj, and don't go all the way?
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  #2  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:17 PM
FreakFreely FreakFreely is offline
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Whatever you do, keep the receipt, cuz those ladies can screw you in more ways than one.

Service Desk: "Next!"

Customer: "Uh, yeah, I'd like to return these crabs, they just weren't what I was looking for."

Service Desk: "Do have the receipt?"

Customer: "Shit!"

Service Desk: "Aisle six, behind the urine. Next!"
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  #3  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:20 PM
SSgtBaloo SSgtBaloo is offline
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I dunno what to advise you, Lizard...

What I want from a woman can't be bought. Well, maybe the sex, but that's like having your cerial without milk and sugar. Something's missing.

As much as I love getting laid, it's not the only thing I want. In my case, I want love, respect, and a continuing relationship. If any one of those are missing, I feel like I'm being shortchanged -- kind of like in my ex-marriage.

Are you a bad person for wanting sex enough to pay for it? Maybe or maybe not. Were you a bad person before getting sex was an issue? I don't suppose that money would be better spent looking for someone who will want to do you for free?

~~Baloo
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  #4  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:20 PM
Coldfire Coldfire is offline
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Lizard,

In all fairness, there must be a way for you to date a nice girl. But assuming this is impossible, say, you're stationed on the North Pole, alone, with only a brothel next door.

Sure. Nothing morally wrong with it, IMHO. Use protection, of course. But these women deliver a service. You pay the money, you get the nooky.

Simple as that. And I can type all this legally because of MY geographical location
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  #5  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:26 PM
Demigod#5 Demigod#5 is offline
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Don't you have any fat, ugly girls that would suffice? Seriously, try going to a bar...and don't be picky. Sooner or later some not-so-cute, drunken slob will hit on you. If you do get a hooker, you HAVE TO...and I mean HAVE TO tell us about it. After the sex, remember, if it itches, don't scratch it.
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  #6  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:27 PM
Lizard Lizard is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Coldfire
Lizard,

In all fairness, there must be a way for you to date a nice girl. But assuming this is impossible, say, you're stationed on the North Pole, alone, with only a brothel next door.
Well, it really isn't. For a variety of circumstances I don't want to get into, dating is extremely difficult right now. I just don't have much time/money/energy.

Quote:
Originally posted by Baloo
As much as I love getting laid, it's not the only thing I want. In my case, I want love, respect, and a continuing relationship. If any one of those are missing, I feel like I'm being shortchanged -- kind of like in my ex-marriage.
Hey, I know what you mean. I wouldn't consider sex alone as a relationship-substitue. But relationships are tricky, and damn hard to bring about. I'm just about ready to settle for what I can get right now. I just think it would be better than nothing at all. Sex alone is better than no sex and no intimacy either, in my mind.
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  #7  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:29 PM
cheezit cheezit is offline
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I seriously doubt that you have been "without it" as long as I have. I have not been with a woman in 12 years, due to the fact that I have raised my 3 kids from first grade to now. (youngest are 18. Twin girls.) Just haven't had time to date, what with work and being dad AND mom.
As "bad off" as I am, I would NEVER consider a hooker. I echo Baloo's statements in what I want in a woman.

Now, if I only knew where to look.
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  #8  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:33 PM
Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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Dude just get laid.Find a really nice chick whom you like and who likes you.Get out of the house.Dress well and get a new look.I'm not there otherwise we coulda gone bird watching together,but anyone can get laid.Its just a matter of meeting the right person.Its much safer and a whole lot better if you do it with someone you know and like.Not a hooker.I mean where's you're class?But hey its you're thingy and you can put it where you like.We can't tell you what not to do.
Just do whatever you want,but if you have any prob meeting regular chicks then i think that can be sorted out pretty easily.
Bye
Zeeshan
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  #9  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:35 PM
yojimbo yojimbo is offline
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Demigod#5 , please tell me you were joking. If that wasn't a joke that was very offensive.

Actually if it was a joke its still offensive . Please don't refer to women who may not have been lucky enough to be born with your obvious good looking genes in the way you just have , you might just run into some problems here .
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  #10  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:44 PM
Demigod#5 Demigod#5 is offline
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yojimbo, sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone. This entire thread, though somewhat serious, is lighthearted. The "ugly girls" bit was more or less a guy-to-guy joke...It's not easy to remain P.C. when dealing with hookers and easy sex.
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  #11  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:47 PM
jubei2k jubei2k is offline
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Hey Zeeshan, I suggest you change the last line of your sig immediately you racist scum.
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  #12  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:52 PM
yojimbo yojimbo is offline
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ok fair enough but ..

There's a difference between P.C.'ness ( which I hate BTW ) and plain respect for people.


Hijack over . Please lets get back to Lizard dipping his wick .
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  #13  
Old 08-13-2000, 05:53 PM
lswote lswote is offline
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Lizard, I have done it and here are the things I found:

1. You can't actually hire someone for sex out of the phonebook per se, but you can get someone to come to your house for nude modeling, and when she arrives you can make your own deal then. I offered her twice the rate she was getting to do the nude modeling. I don't know if this is too much or not.

2. These women will not be offended by what you ask, or how you look. You can ask for sex or just oral sex and of course they are comfortable using protection, even during oral sex.

3. I found I was unable to stay aroused. I guess I just needed to care about who I was with. Or maybe it was the condoms, as I never had to use them when I was married. It was nice just to have contact with a woman, but I have used hookers twice and not been able to stay aroused either time so I would never use them again.
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  #14  
Old 08-13-2000, 06:07 PM
yosemite yosemite is offline
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This whole topic is completely depressing. Sorry, I had to say it.

There are probably more than a few nice girls, maybe lonely girls, that you could get to know. If you are worth knowing. If you are not worth knowing (and I have no idea either way) then work to fix that. I'm sure you can. Trust me - look around you. Look at some of the couples walking around in malls. Do they all look rich and fabulously good looking and successful? Nope! People hook up all the time, all sorts of people. You can too.

I think Wanderer's experience is quite telling. It sounds like it was rather a depressing experience, frankly.
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  #15  
Old 08-13-2000, 06:09 PM
Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by jubei2k
Hey Zeeshan, I suggest you change the last line of your sig immediately you racist scum.
Its not racism,its sarcasm
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  #16  
Old 08-13-2000, 06:21 PM
Coldfire Coldfire is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by cheezit
I seriously doubt that you have been "without it" as long as I have. I have not been with a woman in 12 years, due to the fact that I have raised my 3 kids from first grade to now. (youngest are 18. Twin girls.) Just haven't had time to date, what with work and being dad AND mom.
As "bad off" as I am, I would NEVER consider a hooker. I echo Baloo's statements in what I want in a woman.

Now, if I only knew where to look.
cheezit, I just had to say this: I have a lot of respect for you. Obviously, you have chosen to think of your kids first, and only then of yourself. For over 12 years.

That takes a real man. I salute you. In this day and age, we see too many examples of the opposite. I just thought it would be nice to highlight a GOOD example as well!

Cheers, mate.
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  #17  
Old 08-13-2000, 06:22 PM
voguevixen voguevixen is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Zeeshan
Quote:
Originally posted by jubei2k
Hey Zeeshan, I suggest you change the last line of your sig immediately you racist scum.
Its not racism,its sarcasm
It's racism...even if you used the term "black man" it would be IRONY, not sarcasm
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  #18  
Old 08-13-2000, 06:27 PM
Rich G7subs Rich G7subs is offline
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>>>>>>>>>Kill one and you are a murderer
Kill millions and you are a conqueror
Kill all and you are a god
Kill a white man and you're a murderer
Kill a nigger and it was self defence <<<<<<<<<<
by ZEESHAN

He spelled "defense" wrong anyway.::shrugs::...Consider the source.
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  #19  
Old 08-13-2000, 06:29 PM
Lizard Lizard is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Zeeshan
Its not racism,its sarcasm
[hijacking own thread]

Dude, I know what you meant by it, so I don't find it racist. But I would advise you to simply retract it. I've been in fights over this kind of shit before. Trust me, you cannot win. Just retract it, before it gets out of hand. Don't argue, don't try to explain yourself. Just retract it.

[/end of hijack]

Now can we get back to the topic at hand?
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  #20  
Old 08-13-2000, 06:51 PM
Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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[hijack]
hey i visit the thread in my new sig.Its a BBQ about me and my sig.
LOVE
Zeeshan
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  #21  
Old 08-13-2000, 07:00 PM
handy handy is offline
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A condom won't protect you from a whole bunch of stuff...warts, HPV 5,7, 9 16 & 18, herphes, crabs, etc.
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  #22  
Old 08-13-2000, 07:08 PM
dragonlady dragonlady is offline
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Back to the topic...

I don't think any less of you if you hire some one. I don't have a moral issue with it. I think it's sad that you feel so isolated, everyone should have someone to "do a friend a favor". Don't know your age, but I'm assuming a very young man wouldn't have the performance issues that have been mentioned. Be carefull, both with your health and general safety. I hope it works out for you. Whatever you decide to do, don't beat yourself up over it.
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  #23  
Old 08-13-2000, 08:04 PM
Lizard Lizard is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by dragonlady
I don't think any less of you if you hire some one. I don't have a moral issue with it. I think it's sad that you feel so isolated, everyone should have someone to "do a friend a favor". Don't know your age, but I'm assuming a very young man wouldn't have the performance issues that have been mentioned. Be carefull, both with your health and general safety. I hope it works out for you. Whatever you decide to do, don't beat yourself up over it.
Actually, I'm 25. I hope this doesn't bode ill for my future. Thanks for the sympathy. I don't want to feel sorry for myself though. I might get discouraged.
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  #24  
Old 08-13-2000, 08:20 PM
JoeyHemlock JoeyHemlock is offline
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Without going into too many personal details, I'd recommend that you don't give it a try. You don't really want sex, you want intimancy. You almost certainly won't get that for your money. We all go through our dry spells (including myself as I type this), but it's not worth the cash outlay.

Just rethink what you're looking for in a woman (or should I say partner) and go find someone who meets the qualifications.
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  #25  
Old 08-13-2000, 08:29 PM
andygirl andygirl is offline
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Lizard, if you do decide to hire a prostitute, do yourself a favor and don't use two condoms. "Double bagging" is a bad idea- it actually increases the chance of breakage because of the added friction.

You have several options, in my view.

1) Hire someone. Pros: Sex. Cons: No emotion behind it, which makes it not as good (in my opinion), very high risk of contracting something (remember, some STDs can be had just through genital contact, not intercourse, and some can be obtained through oral sex), and not to mention the fact that it is illegal.

2) Hook up with someone at a bar/club/other place. Pros: Sex. Cons: Just as high a risk of contracting an STD, high chance that you might not remember the entire evening, the person could be beyond odd, and others I'm not coming up with.

This weekend I heard a lot of people bragging about how much sex they've had. It actually terrified me... I kept on biting my tounge because I wanted to ask if they'd ever thought about the joys of herpes.

3) Find a nice girl, date for awhile, then consummate. Pros: Safer. Cons: No sex for a long time, quite possibly not feisable.

4) Masturbation. If you're looking for hurt-free orgasms, it's the way to go.

I'm not little miss sexually experienced- I've only ever "been" with my current girlfriend- but I do know that if I ever had sex without love, it would just cheapen things in my mind.

If I sound heavy handed against STDs and casual sex, it's because I am. A lot of people- some say 1 in 4- have an STD, and the majority of them don't even know they have one. I'm friends with several people who are promiscuous, and I'm never going to forget the time I had to take two of my friends to their AIDS test. The waiting time was agony. They were both negative, thank God, but I know several people who have died of AIDS, as well as several who admit to having an STD.

If you do it, then keep in mind that any girl that is a prostitute, regardless of the way she is hired or her general appearence, can have an STD. And be careful. Responsible fun is good fun.

Off the soapbox,
andygirl
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  #26  
Old 08-13-2000, 09:27 PM
Road Rash Road Rash is offline
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Never poked a hooker myself. I did get a blowjob from a "nude model" once. Best damn blow-job I ever had. The girl was nice and polite, and we did talk a bit. A condom was used.

The irony is now, from February 2999 to to a couple of months ago, I was involved in relationships with girls fairly steadely. I just got on a roll I guess. I thought having a steady fuck would temper my horniness. It did just the opposite. I really-really like sex though. I like games, role playing, slap and tickle, get greased up and squirm around in a jello pit sex.

Yet I digress.

Stay totally away from the street whores. They are bottom feeder junkies.

If you are from a decent sized city look up ads in the weekly Forward Times (or whatever it is called in your neighbothood). Also check The eros guide online for your city. You get to see pictures and a their work philosophy.

I am coming from a personal perspective. I like the foreplay as much as the poke. The most boring sex I ever have had is when the girl just spreads her legs and waits. I prefer to be out of breath when finished. But getting a hooker may just end up at that. She spreads her legs and waits for you.

By reading ads and talking to her over the phone you can get an idea of how fun she may be and how she looks. You will have to pay a little more, but these girls will treat you better, or they will treat you like the naughty boy you really are if you wish. Either way focus on fun, be polite. Treat this girl like you should a pretty girl who is letting you inside. These girls are doing a job and they appreciate being treated nicely, they may even give you a bonus for it.

So what do you want. A poke, or a more complete package.

I'm not saying do it. Masturbation is the most cost-effective method, but lacking social interaction.
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  #27  
Old 08-13-2000, 09:40 PM
Road Rash Road Rash is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by cooldude
Never poked a hooker myself. I did get a blowjob from a "nude model" once. Best damn blow-job I ever had. The girl was nice and polite, and we did talk a bit. A condom was used.

The irony is now, from February 2999 to to a couple of months ago, I was involved in relationships with girls fairly steadely.
I should proofread more. The bj was received when there were no girls in my life.

Just a little gripe to those who say "go out and get a girl." I went years without. Overall, I do ok, but trying too hard has a negative effect. I avoid single functions. It reeks of desperation. Better to find a hobby that others are into and just be a good guy (don't hit on the girls), and be patient. But dry spells happen to most of us, and going out and getting a girl just doesn't always work in the short run.
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  #28  
Old 08-13-2000, 09:56 PM
Lizard Lizard is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by andygirl
Lizard, if you do decide to hire a prostitute, do yourself a favor and don't use two condoms. "Double bagging" is a bad idea- it actually increases the chance of breakage because of the added friction.
Only on the SDMB would I get sex advice from a teenaged lesbian. Thanks, andygirl!
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  #29  
Old 08-14-2000, 01:01 AM
Gozu Tashoya Gozu Tashoya is offline
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Lizard: Just do whatever is right for you. You obviously gave it a lot of thought, so just ask yourself - and answer truthfully - if you "only" want sex, or affection as well. I know it can be hard looking at whether you really want affection when you've had to go a while without, but that being said, if you can honestly deal with sex that lacks affection - as I'm assuming sex with a prostitute would be - then you might as well do it, if you think you really need to. Personally, I find that my interim girlfriend Rosie Palms is plenty for me....

(God, I am never getting laid again...)
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  #30  
Old 08-14-2000, 01:24 AM
Ura-Maru Ura-Maru is offline
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Maybe we can form some kind of support group, KKBattousai . . .

No, not THAT kind of support . . .

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  #31  
Old 08-14-2000, 01:34 AM
chief chief is offline
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let us know what happens, either way..
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  #32  
Old 08-14-2000, 01:34 AM
nashiitashii nashiitashii is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lizard
-I would use a condom, maybe two at once, so as not to put myself or any of my future lovers at risk of VD.
Using two condoms increases the probability of them breaking. Just wanted to warn you on that one.
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  #33  
Old 08-14-2000, 02:25 AM
Major Feelgud Major Feelgud is offline
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Took a look at the local Internet guide. I'm shocked to see a guide for escorts there (I suppose they're also in the yellow pages.) Since this is not Nevada and they are in fact prostitutes why doesn't the city go and arrest them all?
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  #34  
Old 08-14-2000, 05:51 AM
friedo friedo is online now
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Quote:
Originally posted by Major Feelgud
Took a look at the local Internet guide. I'm shocked to see a guide for escorts there (I suppose they're also in the yellow pages.) Since this is not Nevada and they are in fact prostitutes why doesn't the city go and arrest them all?
'cause what they do is perfectly legal. They're hired basically to go on a date with you. If there's a little wheeling-and-dealing after they get there, well, that's a crime, but hardly something prosecutable.

I once heard (might be a UL) that if you don't actually hand them the money, instead just leave it on the table and they pick it up, it's not prostitution since you're not really paying them.
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  #35  
Old 08-14-2000, 06:02 AM
Damhna Damhna is offline
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I will admit to having used the services of a number of prostitutes in the recent past.

I live in a country whereit is completely legal.

I am 26 well educated,clean cut good looking and am considered attractive if not a little exotic by most women I encounter here (I am a foreigner here).

My marriage broke up recenly and ive been on the prowl for a while.

I would take issue with the comments about picking someone up in a bar.Its unfair.It is a commitment of sorts and comes with baggage that i dont think you are looking for.

Between consenting adults who understand what the other is looking for , i dont see any problem with sex for money.You get what you need , as does she.

No big deal
d
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  #36  
Old 08-14-2000, 06:04 AM
Damhna Damhna is offline
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ps newsgroups are useful for realistic advice
alt.sex.prostitution
http://www.worldsexarchives.com
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  #37  
Old 08-14-2000, 10:09 AM
handy handy is offline
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There was a female escort that I did a web page for. she charges $160.00 for a 'massage'.....a regular massage from a licensed person is about $50. So, you can imagine that other 110 bucks....

If you want to see a naked girl for a few hours, join an art class.
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  #38  
Old 08-14-2000, 01:51 PM
cmkeller cmkeller is online now
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I advise against it, simply from the disease angle. Condoms are well-publicized as a way to avoid AIDS/HIV, but they don't stop all sexually-transmitted diseases. HIV is transmitted through bodily fluids; some of the others are transmitted merely through genital contact. And don't assume you'd be able to see it on her skin if she's infected; some diseases can lie dormant for a good long while.

Condoms prevent certain problems, but not all. Play it safe.
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  #39  
Old 08-14-2000, 02:07 PM
plnnr plnnr is offline
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While the STD possibility alone is scary, also consider that its against the law except in portions of Nevada (in the US anyway). I'm not preaching (I don't believe that it should be against the law, but it is), just suggesting that you also give some consideration to possibly being arrested for soliciting, having to go to court, appear before a judge, plead guilty, pay the fine, etc. etc. etc. I don't imagine that would make you feel a whole lot better about the entire situation.

There is someone out there for you. Go find her.
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  #40  
Old 08-14-2000, 02:44 PM
Icerigger Icerigger is offline
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Just my opinion but how can anyone be turned on by a prostitute? She will have sex with you for a price, she had a dozen before you and will have a dozen after you. How can any man want this? I don't under any circumstances.
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  #41  
Old 08-14-2000, 04:06 PM
Diane Diane is offline
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No advice, just an observation in regards to the comments that you need more than just sex.

Relationships are wonderful, but sometimes you just need a good ol' piece of ass.
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  #42  
Old 08-14-2000, 05:37 PM
sliv sliv is offline
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I find myself in very much a similar situation, with the added wrinkle that a good friend of mine is a call girl. (Her take on her job? "Eh, it's not too bad.") That's something else to think about. Screening your potential, uh, freelancer, is good, but what if you wind up with someone you know knocking on your door? Sure the chances are small, but sheesh! Still, the temptation is there...

As for my situation, I live in the Bay Area, where single men grotesquely outnumber single women. I hate hate hate bars and nightclubs. Both just seem like expensive ways to invest in a headache whether from booze or noise. I'm a pretty presentable fellow with a sense of humor and a pretty wide social circle, but getting a woman interested in me below the neck is a task of Sisyphean proportions. And about as frustrating.

Still, I'd like to hear what you wind up doing.
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  #43  
Old 08-14-2000, 10:08 PM
Lizard Lizard is offline
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I just wanted to say thanks to all those who took the time to respond to this thread. It really has been educational for me. I haven't made up my mind yet, but when I do I'll try to post it here. (I may be out of the U.S. for a while soon.)
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  #44  
Old 08-14-2000, 10:28 PM
Lowellster Lowellster is offline
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My take

I can relate to your position, I'm 29, single for several months now (after bowing out of a two year relationship), and pretty much ready to get some again. I have no moral problem with sex for hire, and even if I did I would like to think that I wouldn't impose my "morality" on you. That said, I have a common sense argument that I haven't seen from anyone so far. Here goes.

In all likelihood, you're going to find yourself in a relationship that you care about sometime in the future. At some point, your significant other is going to say something womanly to you such as "You'd never sleep with a hooker.... would you?". It will happen. At this point you'll have two choices:

Option 1) Close your eyes, come clean, and hope that she respects your honesty. Open your eyes and hope that she's still there. Even if she is, and even if she really genuinely wants to forget about it, you're still screwed (or actually not). It'll eat away at her, if not every time she sees you, at least when you're intimate. No guarantees, but I say this with a high level of confidence.

Option 2) Lie. Tell her what she wants to hear. Rationalize this by convincing yourself that you're doing it to protect her feelings. No matter how good of a guy you are, I will guarantee that the reason for the lie is more than 50% to protect yourself. Sleep well with that thought running through your head.

Here's another angle, based on the assumption that your future SO finds out about it one way or another. If there was something else you could do that would give you the same amount of pleasure as sleeping with a hooker, but would cause someone you care about the same amount of hurt as finding out, would you even consider doing it? I would venture to guess probably not, but I guess that's based only on the fact that I know I wouldn't. Sure, the fact that the hurt part is in the future makes it tougher to worry about but it doesn't change the overall equation or your accountability for it.

This is, of course, one man's opinion. Regard it as such, and do as you choose. Best to ya!

Hasta.

Woo-hoo! I'm into double digit posts! Does that make me some sort of official doper?
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  #45  
Old 08-15-2000, 06:39 PM
sliv sliv is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2000
Lowellster, I think you may be over-estimating the fragility of your average woman. And really, any woman who doesn't repect honesty about both the good and the bad stuff in her SO's life probably isn't the sort of woman a long term relationship is going to be possible with. Especially if your background is even remotely spotty.

Another thing to think sabout from your example....would you ask a woman the reverse question? Being a smartass, that's probably what I'd do. (And yet, I wonder why I don't date more often....) The consequences are potentially as dire, but I don't think it would upset me nearly as much as it affects your hypothetical woman in example 1. Perhpas because I know a call girl that it wouldn't upset me. I dunno. Your mileage may vary.
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  #46  
Old 08-15-2000, 07:00 PM
needspeed needspeed is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2000
>>"Stay totally away from the street whores. They are bottom feeder junkies."

Pure poetry.

If I had a nickel for every time my mother tried to pass on this advice, I'd be a rich, rich man.

__________
http://www.angelfire.com/indie/brainingdamage if you don't laugh yourself unconscious, your next steak is on me
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  #47  
Old 08-15-2000, 11:20 PM
Irishman Irishman is offline
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Join Date: Dec 1999
I can't let this sit.

Several of you have commented he should just go out and meet a nice girl and get it on. Like it's that easy. Walk up to a stranger, "Hi, you're cute, wanna fuck?"

Some of us guys are not able to pick up women at the drop of a hat. Some of us guys go years between dates, much less sex. I've tried lots of things. Bars and clubs don't work for me. Two big turnoffs - smoking and drinking. A woman falling down drunk does not get me horny. I've had that opportunity. Getting puked on generally kills the mood. I've tried getting set up - NOBODY even tries, except my sister, and her efforts have been less than stellar. I got one date, and she wasn't interested in me. Now all her friends are married, so that doesn't help. (I'd hate to think what my mother would think is a good match. ::shudder:

I've even joined a dating service. One of those expensive video dating things. In three years I've gotten exactly one date, another woman call on the phone once, and once been picked by someone whom I was not compatible with.

I'm not ugly, I'm not fat. My pic is now even available here. I'm not mean, I'm not rude. I'm generally happy, friendly, and nice. I don't do drugs. I bath regularly. I have lots of old married women tell me I'm wonderful. And I can't get a date to save my life.

I've tried to "do what interests you" route. Let's see, I'm an engineer for work (lots of single women there, right?), I've joined a secular humanist organization (is there anyone else there under 50?), I take karate (ooh, I don't want to break a nail). Recently joined a science fiction book club.

Somebody want to tell me where are all these nice women that I'm supposed to be able to meet and get to go out with me? Because I sure can't find them.

Baloo said:
Quote:
I don't suppose that money would be better spent looking for someone who will want to do you for free?
Gee, $50 sure goes a long way toward finding Ms. Right.

dragonlady said:
Quote:
I think it's sad that you feel so isolated, everyone should have someone to "do a friend a favor".
Any volunteers to "do a friend a favor"? Female applicants only. I know, I could get laid in a snap if I were gay. Sucks to be straight.

handy said:
Quote:
If you want to see a naked girl for a few hours, join an art class.
If you want to see a naked girl for a few hours, go to a strip club. The problem is I don't just want to see them, I want to hold them and touch them and kiss them and smell them and taste them and....

Icerigger said:
Quote:
Just my opinion but how can anyone be turned on by a prostitute? She will have sex with you for a price, she had a dozen before you and will have a dozen after you. How can any man want this? I don't under any circumstances.
Just my opinion, but how can anyone be turned on by picking up a drunk woman in a bar. She will have sex with you because she's out of control of her decision making, maybe not even conscious. She had a dozen before you and will have a dozen after you. AND SHE MIGHT PUKE ON YOU. How can any man want this? I don't under any circumstances. - To each his own, huh. (Note: that says nothing about all the male sluts out there. Just turning the tables on the given opinion.)

Diane said:
Quote:
Relationships are wonderful, but sometimes you just need a good ol' piece of ass.
Is that a volunteer? Actually, it's not the sex, it's the physical intimacy. I can get off any time. But I can't substitute for touching and holding.

Note: I'm not advising Lizard either way on this. Other people have made some really good comments on why not vs. why so. I'm not saying I'd ever do it. But I really get worked up when people just causally advise others to go meet someone, like it's a simple thing like going to the grocery store. No, it's not. Anybody who thinks otherwise can go ... this isn't the pit. Try being me for a week. Then tell me it's easy.

Damn, now I'm all worked up. And lonely.
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  #48  
Old 08-15-2000, 11:38 PM
Omniscient Omniscient is offline
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Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
Posts: 16,188
Quote:
Originally posted by ssskuggiii
Quote:
Originally posted by Lizard
Quote:
-I would use a condom, maybe two at once, so as not to put myself or any of my future lovers at risk of VD.

Using two condoms increases the probability of them breaking. Just wanted to warn you on that one.
Just posting to stress this point. It is 100% accurate, wearing 2 condoms virtually garuntees breakage. Atta Girl skugs.
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  #49  
Old 08-16-2000, 12:06 AM
Lizard Lizard is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2000
Quote:
Originally posted by Irishman
Some of us guys go years between dates, much less sex.
.....
Damn, now I'm all worked up. And lonely.
Reading your post, Irish, I can't but help notice that you seem a little bitter. I understand how you feel, since I too am in one of those dry spells. The difference for me is that it is imposed by my life circumstances right now. I have known several people who tried all the things you've tried and felt as you do. In every case the problem was internal. By that I mean that these guys had basic things in their life that they had not confronted and/or resolved. Sometimes they just needed to grow as a person, or develop some self-esteem. Even smart people who are really good at their jobs may have low self-esteem or hidden issues that need resolved. I've known a lot of engineers (I used to be an engineering student) and I can attest firsthand that they are also not known for their social agressiveness. I don't know you, so I can't say exactly what might be holding you back. The good part of all this for you is that it can all be overcome. You just can't give up or let yourself get too bitter. I know what got those other guys I knew out of their ruts were one of two things: a-reaching outside themselves and their "comfort zone" for new experiences. And I mean radically new. One guy volunteered to work with poor people in Brazil for several months. Another hiked the Appalachian trail alone. Another started racing motorcycles.
b- Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. I had to do this myself. This means, simply, learn to be okay with being alone. From the tone of your post, you sound like you very much wish you weren't alone. This is a sign of desperation, and that is never attractive. Look at yourself in the mirror and say "by myself or in a crowd, I am an okay person. I may not have a woman in my life, but that doesn't make my life any worse than anyone elses'." When you can get to the point where you truly believe this, you will find your life subtly changing. Women will start to treat you differently, because you have other things on your mind besides trying to get into a relationship. You'll stop getting upset if you get turned down for a date, and just move on to the next prospect. Trust me, I know.

Again, let me say I know where your coming from. I was there. Even though I can't get laid right now, I managed to escape the emotional trap you are in. If I can do it, you can too. Good luck.
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  #50  
Old 08-16-2000, 12:43 AM
iampunha iampunha is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Quote:
Originally posted by Irishman
Some of us guys go years between dates, much less sex.
Yup. Want to start a support group? It's been . . . well, it's been a while. The digits in my age last time I had a date were prime.
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