Lobsang: Your obsession isn't cute.

The BBQ Pit
1

This is my first real pitting of a Doper, and I know I’m going easy on him.

Lobsang, you’re an obssesive, stalkerish, freak. At first your crush on your female friend was cute. There were a few inconsistencies, but hey- when we’re blinded by infatuation, we all make mistakes, and it was a nice story. Then it was kind of sad, because it was so clearly unrequited and we all know how that feels. Then it sailed into boring, because you wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. Then it became creepy, because not only wouldn’t you shut the fuck up about it, not only were you no further along in recognizing that it’s hopeless, not only were you going out of your way to be a jerk to the girl’s boyfriend, but you were doing all these things despite the fact that the girl knew about your crush and CLEARLY didn’t return your feelings.

This post is the absolute end. The last straw. She “made” you say mean things about someone. She “made” you a bastard. She then apparently “made” you go up to this poor unsuspecting guy and repeat not only your own feelings, but the feelings of your friends (which, incidentally, you have NO FUCKING RIGHT TO DO, and were I your friend, and you betrayed my confidence in this manner, I’d find unimaginable ways to make your life hell).

You are not in love. Were you in love, you would recognize that this girl has made it clear, many times over, in probably six or seven different languages, that YOU ARE NOT THE GUY FOR HER. You are crazy-obsessed, and this girl is better off without you.

I’d say seek professional help, but you know- I don’t want to knowingly unleash you on one of my colleagues. So instead I’ll say: grow the fuck up, stop acting like a goddamn puppy, STOP HARASSING THIS WOMAN AND HER BOYFRIEND, and pull your goddamn pathetic head out of your oversized fucking ass. It’s not going to happen. You’re not going to get the girl. She’s not going to wake up one day and decide you are the end-all, be-all of her existence. She’s probably tolerating you because you must be an endless source of amusement in a “look how I make the monkey dance” sort of way, which, while sad, is EXACTLY WHAT YOU REDUCED YOURSELF TO.

Now kindly shut the fuck up.

-BK

2

Wow, if that’s “going easy”, then remind me never to make you really angry!

But I do agree with you. I’ve found the best way to deal with this is to stop opening the stalker posts entirely. The downside is, I’m quite amused by Lobsang’s other, unrelated posts, so I’ve probably missed a few good ones in my quest to avoid the Stalker Syndrome Saga.

The post you linked to makes my brain hurt. I have no idea how any of that could have happened, much less how **Lobsang **manages to blame someone else for his being an asshat. That’s not Evil Feminine Wiles, that’s being led around by your dick by someone who won’t even touch it and who has made it emminently clear that she won’t touch it ever! And that’s pretty sad.

3

You know, I’ve been debating with myself over the past day about whether to start this precise pit thread. This has been going on for a couple of months, and I’ve tried my best to be patient, but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, Lobsang, grow a pair.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. You are not the first guy to be whipped. You are not the first guy to have his heart broken. I might add that you would not be the first guy to get hauled into court on a stalking charge, become the proud owner of a brand new restraining order and basically watch his future get flushed down the toilet over some girl who isn’t worth the sweat from the crack of his ass.

Do something with your life, idiot! Do anything!! Be a fucking adult for once in your pathetic existence. Being an adult doesn’t mean you don’t hurt inside or screw up or have weird unhealthy fantasies about the psycho hosebeast in the next cubicle. It means that if you have a problem, you recognize it and–get this, Lobsang–you fix the fucking problem!! That’s what real grownups do, man!

Are you fucked up in the head? Go out and see a head un-fuckerupper. Sick of your job? Get out there, talk to Sallie Mae, get loans, go to night school and get yourself some job skills that don’t involve cleaning urinals. Are you tired of living in your one-horse town? MOVE. That’s right, move. Fix the fucking problem. Take your balls in your hands and your manhood will follow. Do anything except what you’re doing right now. You’re a fucking drama queen, lob, and it’s time to grow the fuck up and get a fucking life!!

Don’t worry about finding the right girl right now. Do you know how to tell if you meet the right girl during this transformation? You’ll pull this shit on her, and she’ll mace you in the face. Good, right-thinking, can-do women carry mace in their (practical, fashionably understated) handbags specifically for whackjobs like you.

You’re what, 26? You’re not trapped yet, man. Keep this shit up for a few more years, and you will be.

Just a little tip from the Lintster. Take it or leave it.

4

I haven’t even really been following this whole mess – just picking up on bits and pieces – and I’ve been finding it annoying too. Bit of a one-trick pony.

5

Is he or is he not a chariacture of every obnoxious horny teenager you’ve ever seen in a really shitty movie?

6

Damn, Linty!

Lobsang, I speak as one who has been where you are now. Linty Fresh just gave you the best advice you could get. Go ahead and have your feelings hurt by it (very vicious), but listen up. It’s never too late to become a real man.

7

Maybe it was at that. Perhaps I was out of line.

Lobsang, I’ve been there too, OK? All right, maybe I didn’t carry it nearly to the extent you did, but I know what being whipped is like. It’s happened once–OK, twice–in my life. I was younger than you, but it’s not like I don’t remember the pain. What happened? I gave myself the same speech I gave you above and just left my old life behind. It had been a good life while it lasted, but it had outlived its purpose which was to get me to the next stage, so I jettisoned it like a booster rocket (In case you’re interested, jettisoning my life involved joining the army, and no, you shouldn’t do that at this stage.).

The thing is, man, you’re headed for a fall. A bad fall. A potentially life-wrecking fall. OK, I was nasty, but not nearly as nasty as the potential consequences of your actions. We’re not talking worst possible case. If the way you’ve been acting on these boards is any indication of your conduct real life, some of the consequences are right around the corner. I tried to tell you this nicely in the first two threads you posted about this subject, and it was like shouting at Helen Keller.

You seem to be under the impression that restraining orders, fistfights with jealous boyfriends, and suicide are things that happen to other people. I’m here to tell you, buddy, that’s just not the case. I’m no preacher, and I’m no saint, but the wrong women, along with drugs and too much booze have ruined a lot of good people. I’m not out to bust your balls, Lobsang, but you can only look at human wreckage for so long before going ballistic when you see it happening to someone else–even a complete stranger.

We’ve never met. I don’t know you. But I don’t have to know you to know that you’re in trouble. If I thought it would help, I would dress up like a cheerleader, meet you in Chuck E. Cheeze’s and chant the speech while waving pompoms in front of laughing children eating crappy pizza, but even if it were possible, I wouldn’t do it, because it probably wouldn’t help, and besides, my cheerleading uniform might split, which would really be embarrassing (Part of my maturing process involved realizing that my 165 pounds days were probably gone for good.). So I have to get your attention like this. Sigh . . . take it or leave it.

Then again, what the hell do I know, right? :wink:

8

He has a pair. He just needs to learn when to not listen to them. :slight_smile:

9

I agree with everything said in this thread, except for one thing. bobkitty, no offense, but I think therapy would help. I don’t know if you claim sisterhood with therapists in the UK, or only those in America, but even if you do, well, it’s a dirty job but someone has to do it.

Also, Lobsang, you’ve said several times that no one IRL notices anything odd about your behavior. For some time now, I’ve been thinking “Yeahright”, but after this latest debacle, I really don’t see how they can’t notice. Change jobs, and maybe locations too, so your reputation won’t screw up everything for you.

10

Priceless.

11

I’ve posted this here, instead of in the MPSIMS thread, because I felt it might be a tad harsher than acceptable in the friendly hugs forum.

I am sadly beginning to think you may be as deluded about this as you are about this woman*. Especially given the actions described here. Going from a shy, insecure person to a festering, loudmouth ass is not an improvement in most people’s eyes.

  • I use the term woman loosely. Manipulative skank may fit better, judging by your own description of her.
12

I hate to be the one to stop the party for a bit, but what exactly is Lobsang’s major malfunction? I haven’t seen his threads around. Has he passed the uncanny valley from puppy-without-a-home to stalkerish yet? Threads would be nice, if they can be provided. I’m actually kinda curious.

13

I absolutely agree that seeking therapy would probably be a good idea. Even though I know you’ve said your dad is a therapist, Lobsang, sometimes getting input from someone who is in a position to impartial and unbiased can be the best thing. I suspect even the best therapist probably can’t be unbiased with their own child.

14

Wow. Just, wow.

I finished with the thread at the top (Sorry, was skimming the OP and I guess it slipped past). You know, while I think every guy has let his pns think for him at least once, there’s a difference between having the little guy chime in: “I think this is a good idea, boss!” and having the little whippersnapper take control of you like some hideous alien organism.

**No, **girls don’t make men bastards. The men that listen to the wrong girl do.

**No, **she didn’t do this to you. You did it to yourself.

**No, **don’t make any more advances. It’s done with.

**Yes, go and get a therapist to help you deal with this.

**Yes, **go and leave the city/town/whatever before you really hurt someone, if not just yourself.

Yes, be most certa-fucking-ly clear that she does not like you, she will never like you, and that she’s toying with you like a little baby plays with toy boat.

I have no idea who you are. I don’t know where you live. As far as I know, I could be speaking to myself. But, I doubt that. I’ve known people that have fallen into this sort of position, however. It doesn’t turn up nice, the girl doesn’t fall in love with the guy, and it can either turn into a gruesome situation (both figuratively and literally) or it can resolve itself. Like I said, I have no clue who you are, I’ve never talked to you, but as a fellow human being, I ask you to let her go, chop off the little bugger if you need to, but let it go before someone really gets hurt and you * are * trapped into something you can’t, and will never, get out of.

15

Oh, no offense taken at all, AND I agree- therapy would be a great thing (though he has claimed in the past to have had a horrid experience with it and appears somewhat unwilling to make the steps necessary to see someone reputable). I’m just thinking of the poor unsuspecting therapist who has this catastrophic mess walk into his/her office, thinking “hey, just a low self esteem problem, no big deal!” only to have a cesspool projectile vomit onto the floor.

I feel badly for that person, is all- I have no doubt that even a halfway decent therapist would be up for the challenge.

16

These are by no means all of them, I don’t think I included the beginning of the story, nor did I include the numerous comments made in other threads. I think I’ve managed to put them in order.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Here.

And here.

17

Wow. There is an amazing unity of opinion on this subject, isn’t there? Perhaps it’s a little time for introspection or soul-searching, Lobsang if not outright therapy.

That other thread was truly painful to read. Who knows? You may be a nice enough guy, but you sure come across as a deluded dick. And her…wow. What a piece of work she is. The whole text messaging plot is so absurd and childish… I don’t know how old you guys are, but you’re acting like a couple of 13-year-olds. Come back down to reality, man. And while you’re at it, grow a pair. Blind acquiesence is not a sexy trait.

18

Lobsang, I have no dog in this fight at all and have nothing at all against you - so please, take this with the intent in which it’s offered - as a fellow poster and as a woman, stop it. JUST STOP IT. NOW. There’s been some very good advice given to you here, take it.

19

And while you’re at it, stop drinking.

20

He has testicles.

The question is whether or not he has balls.