I’ve discovered that, although I have no problem with my age, whenever people ask it they are always trying to argue soemething at my expense. Like they have more experience than me or I’m too old to be flirting with the waitress, or simply that I look younger or older than my age, always unflattering in the context.
So I never answer any more. They can’t make their point without a set number.
If they insist, which they always seem to do, I say “Guess. How old do I look?” That usually stops them cold.
Like I say, though, I have no problem with my age. My birthday cake at work can have the age written on it.
So, back to you. Do you ask the question? Why? And does it make you squirm to be asked?
I don’t have a problem with being asked, and I seem to only get the question when it’s relevant. Same deal with asking. I ask when the answer is somehow relevant, and I usually get a straight answer.
I seldom ask people their age. I don’t mind being asked, but I know that some folks are touchy about this. It’s usually pretty easy to get an idea of someone’s age by conversing for a few minutes. One trick: ask 'em where they were and what they were doing when they learned that JFK had been shot. Or, if they are younger, some other historical milestone.
I won’t ask. And I have the same problem as you - they’re always asking to prove they’re older and therefore know better. As if age brings wisdom. :rolleyes: Nope, all age brings is years.
My Og, I’m cranky today it seems.
I usually only ask when it’s directly relevant to whatever conversation/ discussion is going on at the time.
As for answering, I used not to have a problem with it. The last few years, though, I’ve been living in a country where it’s considered impolite to ask a woman her age. When a co-worker who I had not met IRL asked how old I was, I reacted pretty badly.
I’ve never had a problem with revealing my age, particularly because I look young but have often been told that I act older than I am. No need to guess, I’ll tell. I also get the “you’re to young to” whatever, when I clearly am not and quite resent it at times. (Most often this refers to my current divorce, where most people seem shocked that I’m even old enough to be married, much less for two years and getting divorced. I got married right smack on the average age to get married, even if that seems too young to some people).
I have found it very common that people in my peer group are very hesitant to be forthcoming about their exact age. It’s very odd because I know how old they are within a couple of years based on context and I don’t see what the big deal is. My friends range from 25 to 40 years old, most in their early thirties. I’m 27. Some claim that age doesn’t matter, but in the dating scene it does, even if it’s just in the “getting to know you” sense. How can you be interested in dating someone and try to get to know them if they refuse to give their age? Very strange.
And then there are the people who reveal their age randomly in conversation for no purpose whatsoever. I see this at work (customer service/medical/working with the public) quite often.
I have no problem answering when it’s relevant. I don’t have any problem with my age (39).
I don’t like being asked if it’s to prove something that I don’t think depends on age. Whether or not my opinions are “naive” or “curmudgeonly” isn’t always proven by my age.
I don’t ask people their age all that much. It rarely seems important.
I’m often told I look older than I am. As I’m 19, I take it as a compliment (many people, girls in particular, guess in the 22-25 range). Oddly, I personally tend to guess that 22-year-olds are 19 and that 19-year-olds are 22.
I don’t ask peoples’ age unless it comes up in a relevant context–drinking, financial aid, living situation, etc. Even then, I try to be a little roundabout*, as out-and-out* asking the question seems a little offensive. Even I’m a little put off by it sometimes–like you, I also get the “you’re not experienced enough to know what you’re doing, run along little child!”. It doesn’t really bother me when my uncle, a veteran who’s been successful in business ventures in a small handful of completely different industries, says something like that; he is more experienced than I. But like everything else, the people for whom it’s right (they are more experienced than me) are much less likely to make a big deal out of it. I get a lot more of that crap from sheltered 21-year-olds whose autobiographies would fit in the first chapter of mine.
Like Priceguy and others, I ask when it’s relevant and get a straight answer, and it doesn’t bother me at all if someone asks me when it’s relevant. Sometimes it isn’t, but eh…it doesn’t really bother me.
*Call it morning driving through the sound and in and out the valley
I don’t mind answering if I’m ever asked. Fortunately, I still look 3x, although I’m 47.
Some months ago, I was mentioning to a news guy at work that a story he was working on was in the headlines on the day when I did my first radio demo tape, thirty-two years ago. He said, “Thirty-two years ago?! How old are you?” “47.” “Wow, I had no idea you were so old!” Thanks, I think.
I don’t usually ask people their ages unless it comes up in conversation.
I get less respect from some older people in the museum in which I work, because they feel that a young thing like me can’t possibly know anything about history, especially if they or their parents happened to live through the time period. I guess they’re used to young people not knowing these things, but it is a little patronizing when they say something along the lines of, “We used to have our milk delivered back in the '40s. But you are too young to know anything about that.”
I get asked my age all the time because I’m very young-looking. It doesn’t bother me, except that I put so little emphasis on my age that I often have to stop and think (and do a little math) before I can answer.
I’ve always rolled my eyes at ladies so coy that they don’t want people to know their age-- some of them will go to quite a bit of effort to hide it. Once, some co-workers had to give the workplace copies of their drivers’ licenses for whatever reason, and one of the ladies scratched out the date of birth. I’m perplexed by this, because age is just a number to me.
There are very few times when it’s relevant to ask someone’s age, yet a lot of people feel that it’s completely appropriate. IMO, a true gentleman never asks a woman’s age, no matter how young she looks.
I can’t think that I have ever asked any adult how old they are nor can I think why I would want to. I don’t care if I am aked although I usually make a joke of it and say that I am 35…in hex.
I’l often ask someone their age if I don’t know–I’m genuinely curious about it, and I’m horrid at guessing. I’ll answer the question if it’s asked of me, but I’ll often have people guess first–I’ve been constantly mistaken for younger than I really am for years (probably most of my life), and I’m always hoping they’ll guess closer than last time (hasn’t happened yet–it’s been a constant 3-4 year gap between how old I look and how old I am. I am not 17, dammit!)
I find it difficult to imagine the circumstances that would suggest inquiring about an adult’s age, outside of medical (or possibly legal) situations. If it comes up in conversation and someone volunteers it, that’s a separate matter. “Over 21,” is a good answer if asked only out of curiosity.
I think it’s a sign of adulthood, really, to cease asking such things. It’s important to a child that s/he’s 8 and not 7. It’s also important when you get a driver’s license for the first time, register to vote, become legal to drink alcohol. After that, you really don’t need to tell anyone your age until you’re 59 1/2 and can start taking money out of your IRA without penalty.
I recall when I was first married (at 20) that it was important to me that my wife be younger than me. Because my dad had been just a few months younger than my mom and there would be jokes about it every year on their birthdays.
But now that I’m 80 I see no problem in dating 81 year olds.
