Dumbest thing you've seen in a while

[Boyo Jim]

Broad daylight. Ths little old man was trying to pull his car into a parking ramp,the kind with one entrance and one exit lane with a small atendant/toll booth between. He creeps, the car bumps up the curb and taps the booth.

He turns the whel and backs away. He thinks about it for a second and turns the wheel and hits the gas.

He jumps the curb. Again. He hits the booth. Again.

Then the attemdant lifts the gate, and comes out to guide the old man.

To guide the old man IN to the the parking ramp, where's much less light, narrower lanes, and dozens of parked cars to brush against.

A rare occasion when I was glad to be parked farther away.

[Smeghead]

My girlfriend's son somehow got his finger wedged in a car door today. From the outside. Without opening the door. He got it stuck in the gap between the door and the front panel and couldn't get it out. My girlfriend showed up just in time to catch him, his friend, and the car's owner about to try to open the door to free him, which would have probably snipped his finger off if they'd done it all the way.

We still can't get a clear explanation for how he managed it.

[According to Pliny]

My ex wife once dropped a glass baby bottle. Damn. But she thought might as well save the nipple cap. So she started to unscrew it with one hand while holding the broken bottle in the other, slicing her palm. I never saw so much blood, or heard so much screaming, but she did recover.

[ASAKMOTSD]

Originally Posted by According to Pliny

I never saw so much blood, or heard so much screaming, but she did recover.

So how did they get you to stop screaming?

[Lemur866]

The cafeteria guy at work was making a sandwich for the guy in front of me.
"You want that sandwich toasted?"
"Sure."
So the cafeteria guy puts the sandwich on a polystyrene plate and puts the sandwich, plastic plate and all, into the sandwich grill-press. The plate promptly melts into a toxic gooey mess.

Needless to day, I asked for my sandwich to be non-toasted.

[Ludovic]

Three things in the Warhammer 40K rules have got to be the stupidest things I've noticed all year, although one has been around for awhile.

-- Psycannons ignore Invulerable saves, but not Armour saves (basically, Invulnerable saves are saves you normally always get, except, of course, when you don't ). This makes sense because Psycannons are given to the Daemonhunters, and Daemons have lots of Invulnerable saves. (Work with me here.)
Most races have units called Bikes or Jetbikes. Both of these have regular Armour Saves which means that they have a chance not to get hurt by most regular shooting. However, when they move more than 18" in a turn their Armour Save becomes Invulnerable, so no matter how powerful the weapon you'll always get a chance to avoid the damage.
Yup. Except against the Psycannon. Apparently when you go faster, it's easier to shoot you . This is obviously against the spirit of the Turboboost rule but it's equally obvious that that is what the rules are.

The new Eldar (read: space Elves) Codex has descriptions of cool abilities you can give your Harlequins (read: evil clowns,) and Wraithlords (read: living mechs.) These abilities are called Furious Assault and Wraithblades. However, Furious Assault and Wraithblades are to be found no where else in the rules! They don't exist! Certainly it wouldn't be too hard for Games Workshop to rename them Furious Charge and Wraithswords, which do exist, but apparently it is too much for them to hire a simple spellchecker

[Burrido]

Co-worker who smokes half way out of our back door. Claims its too cold to go ouside so he just sticks his cigarette out the door while he remains inside. Next to him is a gas cabinet with 50 gallons of gasoline.

[ouryL]

Last week, I saw a young girl try to park a new van(you know, with a paper license plate) into a parking spot clearly marked [COMPACT CARS ONLY].
She failed.

[ouryL]

Originally Posted by Lemur866

The cafeteria guy at work was making a sandwich for the guy in front of me.
"You want that sandwich toasted?"
"Sure."
So the cafeteria guy puts the sandwich on a polystyrene plate and puts the sandwich, plastic plate and all, into the sandwich grill-press. The plate promptly melts into a toxic gooey mess.

Needless to day, I asked for my sandwich to be non-toasted.

Must be the same guy who took an order of chili dog with mustard, who couldn't figure out where to put the mustard after he poured chili all over the hotdog.

[Roboto]

Highschool girl asks where I put her cd. I tell her "on top of the television." We watch in confusion as she walks over to the MICROWAVE and starts searching for her cd. She comes back and says she can't find it. "It's right on top of the television." She walks back to the MICROWAVE . . . AGAIN and searches for her cd. She comes back, and before she can ask again, I point at the television, at which point her face turms red. We all pointed and laughed.

[Asimovian]

Four years later, I still remain in awe about the appliance installer who came to my house to set up our new dryer and tested for potential gas leaks by lighting a friggin' match over the line.

I still giggle when I recall my subsequent conversation with the customer service rep at Edison, whose response was, "He did WHAT?!?"