-The lab move is coming to a head. The list of stuff I can take from the departing Department Head’s lab keeps changing. (You can have this. No you can’t, so-and-so wants it.) Will someone make a decision before the movers get here, please? I’m the only one in the lab until mid-March, and I can’t tote this shit on my own.
-Just found out that it will cost me $2500 to fix the transmission of my car-full-of-pain. Its worth that fucking much, if I’m luck.
-Paid off car, now have student loan payments. Got the bill, but not the B.S. (Yes, I know it the consequences of my own actions - or lack thereof. Bummed nonetheless.)
Just for the record, I ripped this off from a George Carlin routine. If memory serves, he was talking about Micky Mouse’s birthday being announced on the news “as if its an actual event!” He then hopes that Micky dies from being fucked with a big rubber dick.
I complain as much as the great Mr. Carlin, just not as witty or clever.
My college roommate and I used to keep a quote wall. It ran for four years and was an endless source of amusement. I swear to god you would have made it if we still did that.
Yeah, me too. No, I don’t find it interesting and disturbing about you. . . I find it interesting and disturbing that I had the same thought. And now even more so since I know others had the same one as well.
Mouse_Maven, yahoo! The day’s almost over where you are. You have another new day to look forward to tomorrow.
Creepy–I came here to complain about my day too, but with a much less colorful thread title. Thanks for the laugh.
So can make this a whine-fest? Here’s my shitty day:
-Started off by fighting with Mr m on the way to the bus stop
-Was grouchy at work all morning
-Mr m met me for lunch and we wound up escalating the fight instead of ending it
-Ran into boss on the way back to work, was almost crying (I hate crying in front of people, especially coworkers)
-Had to stay late at work to wrap up a project
-Continued argument with Mr m over dinner
-Staying up late to finish another project for tomorrow morning
-Realized how far behind some of the other work projects are
-Currently feeling completely useless and untalented and uncreative, but still need to cough up a couple of headlines before I can finish my drawings and go to bed
I found out today that my doctor’s appointment is on Wednesday, not a month from Wednesday like I thought. I’m probably more afraid of doctors than my cats are of vets…
A bad day at work. A lot of typical problems. But the one that annoyed me was the last crisis of the day because it was caused by idiocy.
I work in a prison. Most of you don’t work in a prison but I’m going to describe a situation and you see if you can spot the error that was made.
We have a prisoner. We’ll call him Smith. Smith has a long history of substance abuse. He’s been in trouble with alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, LSD, amphetamines, and psilocybin. And that’s just the things he got caught at. He’s in prison for robbing a convenience store - he stole all their twinkies (I swear to God this is true) and then stole all the quarters out of their gumball machines. Since being in prison, he’s been getting continuous drug treatment programs. But it’s not having a lot of effect and he keeps getting busted with more drugs. So we lock him up in his cell.
A nurse makes rounds to all the cells to hear if any inmates have any medical complaints. Smith tells the nurse that he’s been coughing. So the nurse gives him a bottle of cough syrup. A full 16 oz bottle of cherry-flavored cough syrup.
Can you guess what happened next?
It’s embarassing to have to call the ambulance company back again when you’ve already called them twice in the last six hours.
Mouse_Maven, it’s “I hope Mickey dies. With his hand in Goofy’s pants.”
I love the big rubber dick line. It’s why I clicked on the thread. Also, try donating your car. It will be worth more to a charity. Use the recent college grad rebate and no trade-in as negotiating tools when shopping for a new car.
Since this is the pit, FUCK MY GLOBALIZATION IN THE WORLD CLASS! Fuck the Professor for being a prick, and fuck the school for determining since I speak 3 languages fluently and lived in other countries for 15% of my life, I still should take multi-cultural bullshit classes because I don’t want to take a language class I’m not fluent in. Fuckity fuck fuck, fuckity fuck fuck.
Mickey to the Divorce Lawyer “No, you don’t get it… I didn’t say ‘she’s a freaking nutcase’; I said ‘she’s fucking Goofy’!!”
[crickets]
OK, that went over well…
Sorry about your troubles, Mouse_Maven Especially the car – that’s really bad for one’s inner calm :mad:
Oh, and if you want a colorful title, you can rip off something I posted once: “Fuck it up the ass, sideways, with a chainsaw” (I probably ripped that off from someplace else, unknowingly… and I’m sure everybody and their dog will be along to point out the exact source RSN :p)
Can I please steal this idea? I totally want to cover one whole wall of my apartment with butcher paper and just paste quotes on it as they come to me.
Mouse_Maven, If you made this whole idea into a performance-art play, your troubles would be solved!
The play would be your new employer, so you could leave the bozos to wriggle on their own Steely Dans at your old job.
“Mouse_Maven Sodomizes the Day!” is incredibly catchy. Add the words ‘limited engagement’ and you’ll have a sell out crowd.
The profits, less taxes, hall rental fees, and dildo costs could possibly pay for a brand new car. Of course, the big question is: can you deliver lines of dialog on stage while wielding a huge dildo like a katana…?
I’m sorry to hear things are not well. You did, however, bring me laughter and joy with your thread title. 
