Secrets you might as well share now

[Zeldar]

Surely there was somebody in your past who swore you to secrecy and you have kept that promise all these years but now it seems pointless not to reveal the secret just to get it off your mind.

This could be a "moot secret" for many reasons:

1) That person and all his/her relatives are dead
2) The secret is common knowledge now
3) You were drunk at the time
4) You had your fingers crossed
5) You weren't under oath
6) You just can't help yourself

C'mon. Tell us your secret.

[Snarky_Kong]

Shouldn't you be going first?

[Zeldar]

Originally Posted by Snarky_Kong

Shouldn't you be going first?

No

[ZipperJJ]

My brother is going to propose to his girlfriend in August at the lake house.

August 2006, that is.

[Zeldar]

Originally Posted by ZipperJJ

My brother is going to propose to his girlfriend in August at the lake house.

August 2006, that is.

Good. Now don't you feel better?

[TroubleAgain]

She thought she was pregnant. But she wasn't. 12 years ago.

[Colophon]

The "other bloke" that Chris's girlfriend Jess spent the night with was me. Sorry, Chris.

[Beadalin]

When they were suitemates in our sorority house, Sarah put the moves on Stacy one night when she was drunk. Stacy turned her down, and that's the real reason she switched rooms halfway through the semester in 1997.

[Anastasaeon]

My good friend thought he might have cancer, since he was showing all kinds of "signs" of it. That was in 1993. He didn't have it.

My best friend is gay.

My other best friend is gay.

My best girlfriend is a lesbian.

Gord is none of the above.

My [ex] boyfriend's mother lost $10,000 gambling.

My co-worker is having an affair with the forklift driver.

Stalker boy's mother is a lesbian and in a very long, very secret relationship with another co-worker. As far as I know, that's still a big secret, but it's one of those "everybody knows except her husband" secrets. So, if father of stalker-boy is reading this, I'm sorry, but your wife is a lesbian.

My cousin had an affair with my supervisor's husband. I hate keeping that one a secret, but it's none of my business. So there, it's out. It happened years ago and everybody seems to think things are just hunkydory, and I'm not one to break up a marriage over what appears to be a mistake, but goddamn, I loathe that particular cousin of mine. For more than just this one reason, though, so until I can sort blind rage apart from facts, I remain mostly mum about it all.

I ate the pudding. I wanted to see if saying "honest to God" was going to strike me dead or pull the truth out of me. I was a Catholic-raised 11 year old, and I wanted to see if what my mother told me was true. It wasn't. I lied and I'm still okay today. But that means I was lied to, as well. But... that's okay. Knowing that helped a lot.

But I did eat all the pudding. It was pretty sweet.

The rest of my secrets are still current. Ask me again in a ten years or so, which is the approximate expiry date on most of them.

[Litoris]

Funny, I want to contribute to this thread, but I just can't. I typed out all the secrets entrusted to me by people with whom I am no longer friends and even hit the preview post button, but just couldn't do it. I guess there's a reason people tell me all their deepest darkest shit. Besides the whole "who am I to judge, look at the shit I've done" thing.

Interesting read so far, though. Anyone ever go to postsecrets dot com? My daughter loves that site. Once on myspace, someone (a teenaged friend of my daughter) did one of those "fill in your secret" bulletins. It really made me sad reading the crap that these kids (and maybe some adults, it was all pretty much anonymous) are living with -- it's tragic.

I don't like being "the keeper of the secrets" and often tell people that while I will let them tell me their secrets, I won't listen. I just don't like knowing things for the most part.

[Surly Chick]

Since they've been married 10 years with no other occurances, I guess it's ok to tell that my best friend cheated on her fiance when we were on vacation together in Florida. With a deck hand off a freighter.

[Push You Down]

A gave D a BJ that's why the two of them broke up. Because "Jesus was in the room with them."

[Little Plastic Ninja]

D and J slept together. Unprotected, 'cause she's a Catholic and all. And now she thinks everyone knows and he's so afraid she's pregnant because she said something's wrong but she won't tell him what and OMG he's only eighteen, is he going to have to get married? How are they going to raise the kids if she's Catholic and he's Jewish?

Ten years ago. She wasn't.

[Ximenean]

That time they asked the entire school who stole James Oates' watch? It was me who stole it. And then I smashed the watch up because I was too ashamed to keep it. Don't know why I did't just leave it in his desk or something.

Phew, that feels better.

[UncleRojelio]

I shot the deputy.

[Colophon]

Originally Posted by Beadalin

When they were suitemates in our sorority house, Sarah put the moves on Stacy one night when she was drunk. Stacy turned her down, and that's the real reason she switched rooms halfway through the semester in 1997.

Cite?

[ShelliBean]

I've been pregnant five times since I was sixteen years old. Some ended naturally, some not. I have miscarried alone in an ER waiting room and no one was the wiser, except for the doctors and nurses that cleaned me up afterwards.

[Rich Mann]

Adolfo knew the gun they found in the closet was loaded. He was just too young, stupid, and messed up on Rosie's Dad's liquor to realize the consequences of not telling her. He told me he felt enormously guilty, but not enough to take whatever responsibility the truth might require.

circa 1974

[Hypno-Toad]

I knew about an ex's infidelities because I snooped around her room looking for exactly that info. When it hit the fan, I was unable to "provide a cite" although I knew the truth. So I looked like a jealous paranoid bastard which she used to her advantage.

[alice_in_wonderland]

My mother has smoked for the last 15 years, despite having "quit" all those years ago. The great aunt for whom this was an issue passed away in January, so the point is kinda moot.

[Beadalin]

Originally Posted by Colophon

Cite?

Honestly, I think the only reason I remember that particular secret is it's the perfect set-up for some awesome porn, but then just sort of fizzles out. Stacy got to switch to a single room when everyone else had to finish the semester with whoever their roomies were, and nobody but me (and Sarah, I suppose) knew why.

[LavenderBlue]

I stole my brother's tickets to Donohue. Donohue has been off the air for at least five years. I hate my brother. He's stupid and arrogant. He has a crappy job with no benefits, lives with my parents without paying them a penny in rent, falls prey to every stupid scam ever dreamed up, calls me lazy when I work more hours than he does and in general serves no purpose at all other than to run up credit card debt and let my mother say that she has two children. My biggest regret over it is that I didn't steal more stuff from him.

[jjimm]

I was meant to meet female coworker #1 for an evening drink when we were away on business. When I called, her cell was off, so I ended up bored and alone in my hotel room. Eventually I went out buy a magazine to read, and happened to see her and coworker #2 heading into a pub together, and acting in a very flirty and tactile manner with each other. Later, she called me to tell me she had gone straight to bed and turned her cell off, and was too tired to come out.

Coworker #2 is married with a young kid.

Circa last month.

[dmatsch]

I secretly have a crush on a fellow doper!

[Gadarene]

I'm a vanilla citizen.

[Foxy40]

I snuck the new car keys out of my mother's purse while she was working at the family store when I was 13. I started it, tried to pull out of a spot and hit the car next to me. I never said a word. When she came out of the place of business that night, she noticed that she had been subjected to a "hit and run" and called the police. The did a report and the cop wrote that the car that "hit" her's was blue.

It was white.

To this day, 30 years later, I have not told her that it was me who was responsible for the scratch on her new car.

[Miss Woodhouse]

She really does have cancer.

[Ethilrist]

Originally Posted by dmatsch

I secretly have a crush on a fellow doper!

pssh. Get in line.

I went to college with Gordon MacRae's mistress.

[jjimm]

About four years ago, my wife's friend came on to me. While my wife was in the same room. I ran a mile, metaphorically. I never said anything because it wouldn't have done any good, and they ceased being friends for different reasons anyway.

[Gala Matrix Fire]

A former roommate reportedly had he-to-she sex reassignment surgery shortly after we stopped being roommates. This was more than ten years ago, and I never have known whether he really did it or if my friends just told me that to see if I would keep a secret.

[Queuing]

Originally Posted by Gadarene

I'm a vanilla citizen.

LOL

[FairyChatMom]

K proposed to me several times while he was engaged to C. I always thought he was joking and I kept turning him down. I thought we were just friends. But C never knew. She also never knew that he found out where I lived in CA and came to see me while she was back home in IN with their kids.

I don't know if he was truly smitten or just a skeevy cheater. C deserved better.

This all happened more than 30 years ago. Wonder if they're still married?

[ouryL]

Originally Posted by UncleRojelio

I shot the deputy.

and you did shoot the deputy, I bet!!!

[Autolycus]

Originally Posted by Gadarene

I'm a vanilla citizen.

Hahaha, and I'm the Godfather

I'd tell my secret, but most everyone on this board already knows what I would say and I have no desire to make a repeat performance

[CaerieD]

Amanda told Tony that she was on the pill because they didn't have any condoms and she wanted to sleep with him while she had the chance. Then she got pregnant. Then I helped her find a place to get an abortion.

Heath is gay, goddamnit. We all know. Just admit it already and stop killing me, dude. Sheesh.

I was the one who broke the glass.

[freckafree]

I said that I don't know where the Barbie dolls you wanted to auction on eBay are, but the truth is, I threw them out the last time I moved.

[matt_mcl]

Dad, when I called you to say I'd be late for dinner because I was at his place, and you freaked, and I got outraged and said we were just talking and how dare you be suspicious like that, and stormed home and let you have it?

He and I were totally having sex.

(Dad died in 2003.)

[LavenderBlue]

I ate the entire carrot cake from Trader Joe's. Three times. I strongly suspect my husband knows this because he gave me a funny look when we bought another one last week.

[Nava]

That four-month hepatitis will, five months after the wedding, be baptised Aurelio like his grandpa.

(He's now a tax-specialist lawer)

[Layla01]

Similar story to FairyChatMom...

Yes, your husband hit on me at least half a dozen times while you weren't in the room. Yes, I did turn him down because I knew you loved him and you were my best friend....but it didn't stop you hitting on my husband later on....

(eight years ago, ex-best friend)

[OpalCat]

Angie's not a virgin. Don't tell her mom. Of course, that was 20 years ago, and I know she's married now, so chances are her mom knows.

I looked through Charlie's desk drawers when I was dating him (I was looking for something at the time--tape or something, don't remember). I was 16 or 17 at the time and I had a key to his apartment and he wasn't home (he knew I was there, though). I found a gun in the second drawer I looked in and got weirded out and stopped looking. Doesn't matter now, as he shot himself in the head about a year later.

[Quiddity Glomfuster]

We were friends at work was all. I was crazy for the other guy we hung around with. But a she-viper swiped him and that was that. I met your girlfriend, went to your wedding. Then you came to town once for a visit and took me out for a very pricey lunch. After, you hit on me. You were married! And we only were ever friends.

You were going out with my best friend but you were making moves on me. You were going out with my best friend!

You had been married to one of my best friends. It was a few years after your divorce, granted, but did you think I'd ever have a fling with an ex of a friend?

You fellows made me sad.

[enigm4tic]

I tried to kill myself once. Of course, these days I'll admit that to anyone who asks.

At some point I accidentally inflated the number of people I slept with by one. To keep it consistent, I never took off the extra number.

Categorically: if you're gay, get the hell out of the closet, half of you we've already got figured out, the other half are so deep in the closet that you're finding Christmas presents. Figure out nobody cares if you're gay and stop pretending.

On a related note, I'm pretty sure you only pretended to fall asleep when you were hooking up with her because you just don't swing that way...no wonder you want to be a Catholic priest.

Man, just for the record, there's one I just typed out like 3 times and kept deleting, guess it's too soon to share that one.

A couple of the (many) my parents don't know...

Every time you leave town when I'm home, our house becomes a raging party. The only thing you ever found from that was one can of beer.

That scar I got in the middle of my forehead from slipping and falling against a desk? It was actually because we decided fencing with fencing sabers and machetes at night in the rain on railroad tracks was a good idea.

[Rigamarole]

Originally Posted by Push You Down

A gave D a BJ that's why the two of them broke up. Because "Jesus was in the room with them."

Wow, I never knew Jesus was a voyeur. Gives whole new meaning to The Reserection.

[nikonikosuru]

To T:

Just because your mother and J are cousins, doesn't mean there's some invisible barrier that prevents them from having sex. They did, quite a few times. And your dad found out about this. Your older sister knows. Even your little sister knows. You're the only one who doesn't know. I wanted to tell you, and even you had your suspicions. Little sister says you said "...But they can't have sex, they're cousins, right?". We just don't know how you'd react to the truth.

Oh, and she stole $12,000+ from Grandma.

[Freudian Push Up Bra]

This was a secret until my grandma asked me straight out the other day and I had to tell the truth; yes I'm having sex with my boyfriend.

I've never actually been with anyone else.

I imagine my boyfriend and I living together and having a family when we're older. I'm 17.

[Winston Smith]

Originally Posted by Autolycus

Hahaha, and I'm the Godfather

I'd tell my secret, but most everyone on this board already knows what I would say and I have no desire to make a repeat performance

I'm Batman.

[phall0106]

I lied--the biggest lie of my life. There was never anyone else from work, there was never anyone else but you. You freaked out when I told you, I freaked out when you did, and then I lied to protect someone else. I'll tell you the truth, but I'm not sure when or how.

[Pushkin]

Originally Posted by TroubleAgain

She thought she was pregnant. But she wasn't. 12 years ago.

She thought she was pregnant. And she was. Two years ago.

[Queuing]

I knew the condom had broken. I kept going anyway.

At least I paid for the morning after pill.