Share a minor thing you hide from your significant other

My SO buys unsalted peanuts. Once in a while when she’s not around I’ll pour a handful of nuts and salt the hell out of them.

Please don’t tell her.

Your turn.


There’s this message board on the internet…

When I go to bed, I turn the temperature way down to Arctic, and when I get up (always first), I turn it back up to normal.

I take secret vacation days to do what I want without having to justify and without hearing “If you don’t have anything to do…”.

I used to go further to pull this off. I’d leave the house at my normal commute time in the morning, dressed for work and carrying my briefcase. But because I really want to have fun, I’d sneak the laptop out of the briefcase and hide it in the bedroom first, because it’s heavy.

I’m not doing anything wrong when I go out. I’m just doing what I want, instead of what somebody else wants me to do.

Her mom, a lifelong devout Catholic, has talked with me about how she doesn’t really believe in god, and the church is just a social part of her life.

I accumulate enough cash to go out for a secret sushi lunch once or twice a month, and pretend I went to Subway or some other cheap place. I have a serious sushi addiction but feel like I shouldn’t spend the money on it.

Not sure how much I even want to think about what I “hide” from my wife of 37 years. Not much - tho there are undoubtedly numerous things in the “don’t go out of my way to announce” category.

I used to hide the full extent of my drinking. Been sober - I dunno - 18 yrs or so.

But if I may add a wrinkle - for those of you who “hide” things - what would you do/how have you reacted when you got “found out”?

My buddy Nate hides a ton of stuff from his wife Barb, and she does likewise. I helped Nate buy a high end Harley fifteen years ago. It was a beautiful bike, but Nate had never even been on one. When it was ready to be picked up, I drove it from the dealership to another friend’s home where Nate hid it while he took lessons, etc.

Sometimes I contribute small amounts of money to worthy causes. It’s my money, but I don’t feel like having to defend every thing I do with it. I usually send cash, or ask a friend to use their credit card on my behalf.
If I told my husband I gave money to some stranger on the internet, he would never understand.

There’s a steak restaurant I like down the street from our apartment. Every so often when we don’t feel like taking the whole family out to eat we would place a pick up order. I’d leave early to go pick up the food, ostensibly to pick up the food as soon as it comes out of the kitchen. In reality, it would be to enjoy a martini and some peace and quiet for a few minutes.

My wife “found out” because apparently some of her coworker’s husbands do the same thing, except they leave like an hour or more early. Apparently it’s relatively common for the “kitchen to be all backed up”.

You people DO realize that your SOs, or people who know them, can read your peccadilloes here and report them, right?

As for me, I don’t have any. Nope. None at all.

(Walks off, whistling clumsily.)

A few years ago I started drinking Scotch (mostly because of threads here). I’ll buy a bottle, have a glass every now and then, and when it’s gone I go buy another bottle of something else. It’s a fun way to try out different varieties of Scotch.

I don’t hide my Scotch drinking from my wife, but I don’t tell her how much I’m spending on it. I started out buying bottles in the $40-50 range but lately it’s been creeping up to the $70-80 range. (I have yet to spend over $100 on a bottle, but there is a bottle of Lagavulin I’ve had my eye on for a while, so it’s just a matter of time…)

This is my favorite so far. Sounds like fun

My wife and I track each other on our phones, so I couldn’t do this even if I wanted to (and it’s not my thing, but i get it)

This may not fit the criteria, and I’m still trying to find a way to address it, but my girlfriend’s way of speaking is bothersome to me. It’s hard to describe but it comes across kind of like a jackhammer to the ears and is super curt/rapid.

Everything else about her is great; this is the only problem. But to me, it’s significant. I don’t think she realizes.

Sounds like it may be difficult for her to change. I hope you can get past it.

I don’t always tell my wife when I’ve had lunch at McDonald’s.

I saw a small snake in the backyard last weekend. She definitely would prefer not knowing that, so I didn’t tell her.

Boundries, man!

There is no finer feeling than “I’m free to stop for a cup of coffee, or a walk through a park, and no one knows I’m doing it.”

When I was teaching, each semester had a different schedule, and I’d often Tuesday and Thursday mornings off. But I’d leave the house at the normal time and find a coffee joint. It was one of those times, sitting with a scone and an old book that I realized THAT was more fulfilling than the teaching…

… and now I’m retired. And the high point of every day is when I tell my wife “I’ll be out on my bike. Text me if you need me to pick anything up.” I’ll end up at a coffee/breakfast place with a book, often in a nearby small town, and no one knows I’m there! It’s delicious.

And my wife has no idea how often I’m having baked goods, or eggs and bacon. Even more delicious…

Yep, secret eating. Yep, I’m fat, and it’s bad for me. If he’s paying any attention at all, he knows, but not the specifics or the extent.

I think in most relationships the SO already knows more than these folks suspect.

This is me, but it is McD’s breakfast as I’m on my way to go mountain biking. I figure I can cheat since I’m going to burn enough calories to make up for it.