My good friend thought he might have cancer, since he was showing all kinds of “signs” of it. That was in 1993. He didn’t have it.
My best friend is gay.
My other best friend is gay.
My best girlfriend is a lesbian.
Gord is none of the above.
My [ex] boyfriend’s mother lost $10,000 gambling.
My co-worker is having an affair with the forklift driver.
Stalker boy’s mother is a lesbian and in a very long, very secret relationship with another co-worker. As far as I know, that’s still a big secret, but it’s one of those “everybody knows except her husband” secrets. So, if father of stalker-boy is reading this, I’m sorry, but your wife is a lesbian.
My cousin had an affair with my supervisor’s husband. I hate keeping that one a secret, but it’s none of my business. So there, it’s out. It happened years ago and everybody seems to think things are just hunkydory, and I’m not one to break up a marriage over what appears to be a mistake, but goddamn, I loathe that particular cousin of mine. For more than just this one reason, though, so until I can sort blind rage apart from facts, I remain mostly mum about it all.
I ate the pudding. I wanted to see if saying “honest to God” was going to strike me dead or pull the truth out of me. I was a Catholic-raised 11 year old, and I wanted to see if what my mother told me was true. It wasn’t. I lied and I’m still okay today. But that means I was lied to, as well. But… that’s okay. Knowing that helped a lot.
But I did eat all the pudding. It was pretty sweet.
The rest of my secrets are still current. Ask me again in a ten years or so, which is the approximate expiry date on most of them.