Explain to me about the red plastic testicles on the back of this truck

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Seriously. I want to understand this. I’m straining to understand this. Yes, I know they’re called trucker balls or trucker nuts, and yes, I know some politico is trying to get them banned in Maryland, but what I want is, to understand them.

I happened to follow a pair of 'em out of the Wal-Mart parking lot and some considerable way down Water Street today, so I had ample time to study them (not to mention the spanking-new pickup, the double glass packs, the light bar, the rollbars, the huge tires, and the overweight fifty-something white guy behind the wheel with “weekend warrior” all over his jowly face), and now I’m sitting here with my pair of X chromosomes, wondering. Just wondering.

I’m married to a Y chromosome who doesn’t seem to feel a need to swing a pair of red plastic testicles from his Ford Taurus. So, does my guy just lack the 'nads to go down to Auto Zone and let it all hang out and shock the old ladies at Wal-Mart? Is the Weekend Warrior the one I should have selected to father my children? Does the ability to drive around Decatur, Illinois with a pair of red plastic testicles decorating one’s car denote a high-status male, and all the guys driving around without 'em are pussies, and inferior breeding material?

2

You should have congratulated him for wresting them from his wife’s purse.

3

Any chance of getting a picture of these things? I feel so out of the loop.

4

I can only guess that some guys think they’re funny and/or shocking. I dunno. I think they’re kinda silly - especially the camoflage patterned models - but I’m not the target market.

I also don’t get filling the back window of your sedan with stuffed animals or installing neon lights or wheel spinners or spoilers or chrome tailpipes. Each to his own, I guess.

5

scroll down here

6

But what if my truck already has a truck bra up front? Will hanging balls on its rear cause gender confusion?

7

I was driving behind a pair of silver ones this morning that were attached to the back of a pickup truck. Honestly, I thought a little silver garbage bag had gotten stuck to the bottom of the truck until I got a closer look. How odd.

8

Whenever I see them I consider them overcompensation for some, um, shortcoming. If you really got it, you don’t have to show it.

9

You misspelled scrote.

I’d love to hear the conversation if and when he ever calls in to report them cut off or stolen.

10

We’ve had many threads on this already. You can get them in all colors 9including blue), and from a variety of sites.

I figure it’s only a matter of time before somebody markets a bull schlong or a Prepuce Tassle* to mount under the truck as well.

  • That’s the official name for the thing sticking out under the buffalo on various US state dollar coins and certain nickels.
11

Short explaination: The owner of the truck is a jerk.

12

Out of curiosity, is the long explanation any different?

13

Very tempting to offer to pay you to do this…

14

Well, my poke at the long answer is that the balls’ owner feels that the greatest pleasure known to driving humankind is in the indeterminable torture of the faint souls driving behind them.

. . . Which wakes in me the strange desire to mount a giant scissor on the front of my car.

HAH! MY scissors beats your stones, asshat!

15

Yes. The owner of the truck is an asshole.

16

What. EVAH. :rolleyes:

17

Do they sell Calvin dolls? I could see tying one on straddling the hitch.

With a confederate flag in his hand.

18

It’s a lame-o attempt to show how tough their truck is. As in “my truck has balls”.

19

Every time I see a pair I have an overwhelming urge to kick 'em.

20

Wow. I’ve never seen this before. Is this another Southern thing?