I have it happen a lot whereby I’ll be having, or trying to have, a conversation with someone and I’ll always make it a point to politely listen to them and let them state their viewpoint about whatever it is that’s being discussed. However, more often than not these days, when it’s my turn to speak I’ll barely get three words out when suddenly the person will cut me off and steamroll over me as if he/she knew where I was going and didn’t want me wasting their time! It’s very demeaning to say the least.
I remember in a Clint Eastwood movie, I think it was Dirty Harry, in which the star would have the same thing happen to him and he’d give this LOOK like, “What is your problem?” But that movie came out in the early '70s and people are still doing it. :mad: It makes me wonder if I’m supposed to be someone I’m not and inject a lot of emotion via hand/arm flailings with lots of voice changes and facial expressions to somehow get them to find me interesting enough so as to want to hear me out. Brother.
Or maybe I should throw it back in their faces by just turning around and walking away whenever they do that? But I don’t know. Do the rules of etiquette actually dictate that one is supposed to calmly explain to full-grown adults that they’re being jerks for doing that? I’m such a non-confrontational guy (except when I’m on the Internet ).
Do any of you know what I’m talking about? If so, how do you deal with all of these rude saps?
One good trick is to wait till they’re done, and then calmly ignore everything they said and go on speaking from the exact point you were stopped. Judicious use of the phrase “As I was saying…” is encouraged.
I just wait until they’re done and if possible, try to resume my point later. If it keeps on happening, I just don’t go out of my way to be involved in conversations with them. It doesn’t happen all that much.
My general reaction is to interrupt them interrupting me with … “Sorry for talking while you were trying to interrupt”, said with deep, deep, sarcasm. They generally get the hint.
Either than or I slap them upside the head with a fish.
I had a friend at Uni who was (and is) lovely, but had a terrible habit of interrupting people. At the end of one term, my folks came to pick me up and me, they and a bunch of friends were havin coffee. My dad was speaking and she interrupted. Dad’s response was to keep talking. For about 10 seconds they were both speaking - no raised voices or anything like that, just two voices clashing with each other - until, for the first time in recorded history, she fell silent and let him finish his point. We were all a little stunned. So you could give that a go.
It’s also contextual. Depends on whether they initiated the conversation i.e. are they asking a question or, do they want something from me? or both. There is a subset of folks who love nothing more than to change the subject over and over just prior to any point being made or established. This isn’t probably a conscious decision but they also tend to interrupt.
I was thinking about the navy blue skirt with the white sweater, but then I thought, naaaahhh…too nautical. Do you think the black-and-white skirt with the black tank top would be better? I found the cutest pair of spectator pumps to go with it. Wanna go shopping later?
This is what I was going to suggest. It throws the interrupter off guard and makes it very clear what he or she was doing without going out of your way to do anything you weren’t already going to do. Sometimes, it’s difficult to maintain your train of thought when there’s someone else talking, but in this culture where interrupting is a growing trend, it’s easy to practice the skill.
“Actually, if you’d have let me get a word in, you would have learned that I have to go to work this afternoon.”
That’s my technique. Wait till they say something that allows you to make a point of how their interruption has prevented them from hearing from you something they wanted to know. It’s even better if they go off on some tangent based on their (wrong) presumption that they knew what you were about to say.
GuyNblueJeans, I’m that guy you’re talking about in the OP who waxes poetic about his own opinion and then cuts off everyone else when they tell theirs. Sorry. I’m working on it, I promise!
A twist to the interruption thing is what I call One Step Behind Syndrome. My husband doesn’t keep up with the conversation. I’ll do two minutes on A. I get no verbal response; only an absorption acknowledgement. I go on to do two minutes on B and then he starts talking about A.
Another good response to the interruptor is to ask if they’re done. Then ask “where was I?” If they can’t tell you, give 'em a :dubious: and tell them evidently their issue was more important than yours.
My responses vary between 1) waiting until the person is silent, and then saying what I wanted to say, and 2) saying “If you don’t mind, I was going to speak.”
Often, I re-cut them off and say “I am going to finish my thought”…
Bottom line:
80% of the time, I let it go and shut down mentally. Most social conversations are not worth the trouble and the person who interrupted me is making it clear that they are not trying to communicate (engage in a two-way exchange), just pontificate.
20% of the time, if the conversation has to acheive a result for work or normal talk, or at least it is clear that the person is truly trying to communicate but mucking it up, then I say what I stated above…
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