The best songs would be easy. I’m sure ahem some of you/us have your/our favorites. But how about the worst for either women or men?
I was thinkin’ Dueling Banjos from Deliverance might be kinda creepy. And please, Lord, don’t make me watch someone bump and grind all sexylike to The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
Oh, man, Lieu, what a concept!
Swan Lake
Amazing Grace
Night on Bald Mountain
Star Wars theme
Magnificent Seven theme
Jaws theme
How far out can we get?
Well, if it were the Chippendales – I’m not sure I could keep a straight face if they did “Macho Man.”
Anything by Handel
Greensleeves
Anything sung by the Muppets
“Lizzie Borden took an axe
and gave her father . . .”
No?
Especially the Muppets Christmas special with John Denver.
What was Arnold Schwarzenegger singing on the plane near the beginning of Twins? Yakkity Yaks? That’d be a bone killer.
Oh, Jesus Loves Me.
Enter… John Tesh.
-Go Tell It On The Mountin’
-Kum Bai Yah
Anything with Mel Tourme scatting.
The Barney theme song.
“The wreck of the Edmund Fitzgeeeeeraaaaaallllllld…” boom chika boom chika
It might go over well in a gay bar, though.
I am now thinking of the Rheostatics’ version. Which them makes me think of their song “Horses”, which would be even worse to strip to.
Then there’s the “Canadian Railroad Trilogy”:
“There was a time in this fair land
When the railroad did not run/
When wild majestic mountains/
Stood alone against the sun…”
Hmm. Actually that one has some promise.
Alvin and the Chipmunks is never a good idea.
Or Puffy Ami Yumi.
Heh, you tell me.
The Brave Sir Robin song from MPatHG:
Bravely bold Sir Robin
Rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die,
Oh brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid
To be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.
I think we should be aiming for a “WTF” surreality, kind of like “Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster”.
Is there any song that is proof against double entrendres?
The Benny Hill Theme
“One of these things is not like the other”
The Star Spangled Banner
The Cat’s in the Cradle
Theme music from Family Ties
“Excitable Boy” by Warren Zevon?
But oddly the theme from The Facts of Life would be kind of hot.
“The William Tell Overture” as played by Walter/Wendy carlos for “A Clockwork Orange”
anything by Gyorgy Ligeti from “2001”
“They’re coming to take me away, ah ha!” by Napoleon Bonaparte XVI
“Funeral March for a Marionette” (Alfred Hitchcock’s theme)
The “Electronic Tonalities” from “Forbidden Planet”
The stopwatch from “60 Minutes”