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#1
10-17-2007, 07:23 PM
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Your favorite Fortune Cookie Fortunes
OK- I got this a while ago and it still hangs on the side of my fridge:
"You can depend on the trust of the collective" It is Borg or Communist wisdom? All right- what wacky or great fortunes have YOU gotten lately? 
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#2
10-17-2007, 07:39 PM
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Fortune cookies are irrelevant.
...okay, I was on a date with my husband (then boyfriend) and I got one that said, ''Happiness is just across the table from you.'' And he was.  Not nearly as cool as the Borg Fortune, but I never forgot that one. Last edited by olivesmarch4th; 10-17-2007 at 07:41 PM.
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#3
10-17-2007, 07:46 PM
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"Never smell the inside of a hat."
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#4
10-17-2007, 07:47 PM
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"You have great physical prowess and an iron constitution"
...in bed. I laminated it and keep it in my wallet. Best "in bed" fortune I ever got.
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#5
10-17-2007, 07:53 PM
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My ex once got a fortune that said "Everyone thinks that you are the greatest."
If only he hadn't believed it so much. 
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#6
10-17-2007, 07:58 PM
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Really? How odd.
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#9
10-17-2007, 08:20 PM
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"Consistency should be maintained in your style of dress."
No, I didn't go out and buy 7 Mao jackets. If you eat Chinese takeout every day, every number is lucky for you.
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#10
10-17-2007, 09:00 PM
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My absolute, all-time favorite?
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#14
10-18-2007, 08:53 AM
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"You are always courteous to the other fellow"
Hmmmm... That one might have been better for Otto or Sampiro.
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#16
10-18-2007, 10:59 AM
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 You're kidding!!! That is absolutely freeky.ANother favorite- "You will be $8.95 poorer ($6.95 if you got the buffet) soon."
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#17
10-18-2007, 11:14 AM
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I save the good ones
<damn you for making me de-lurk>
Right now my favorite (on my cubicle wall) is "Very little is needed to make a happy life." The others I like (in a coffee mug on my desk): "You'll accomplish more later if you have a little fun this weekend" "Be direct, usually one can accomplish more that Way" (never noticed the cap W before) "Hope for the best but prepare for the worst" "No one is happy who does not think himself so" "You are strong and sensitive" "A good reputation is more valuable than money" "Never find your delight in another's misfortune" </dyfmd>
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#20
10-18-2007, 03:41 PM
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"You look pretty."
Aw, thanks.
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#22
10-18-2007, 04:32 PM
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"If you want to be like Popeye, your girlfriend needs to be like Olive Oyl?" "More pineapple please." and my all-time favorite... "Only listen to the fortune cookie. Disregard all other fortune telling units."
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#24
10-18-2007, 05:50 PM
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"That wasn't chicken."
(Just kidding...)
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#26
10-18-2007, 06:28 PM
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The best (and most accurate) fortune cookie I ever had was about twelve years ago. I'd been working as a sort of paid intern for a game company for about a month when the boss and her husband took me out for lunch at a local Pho place. After the lunch I opened my fortune cookie, which read, "Your supervisors definitely have you in mind for a promotion."
I showed it to my boss, and they both laughed... and then offered me a $20k/year raise.
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#28
10-18-2007, 06:37 PM
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"You are moving to a land of sunshine". In a box of takeout that I got in the midst of moving from blizzard-wracked Minnesota to California.
When I was significantly younger and quite self-effacing, I was teaching speed reading for a company that shall remain nameless. I was having trouble with the junior-high classes. The teacher coach was in the midst of telling me, over and over again, "You must become an authority figure." When he was called to the phone, I nervously stuck my hand in my pocket and found a piece of paper, an old fortune cookie fortune that read "You are called to a position of authority."
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#29
10-18-2007, 08:47 PM
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hijack/
How do the cookie makers decide what the fortunes will be? Is there an editorial board, or a staff of writers? Do some ideas get tossed out because "nobody would believe that, coming from a cookie." Or is it every cookie maker for himself, and the boss just lets them print whatever comes to mind? And how do they get that little piece of paper to line up in the typewriter? /hijack
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#30
10-19-2007, 03:18 PM
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#31
10-19-2007, 05:13 PM
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#32
10-19-2007, 05:24 PM
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"There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation."
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#33
10-19-2007, 08:05 PM
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A high-school buddy of mine worked in a Chinese take-out place. At one point he ordered a very small order of custom fortune cookies and slipped one into the bin at work, then shared the rest with us just for giggles. I may still have the fortune somewhere; it tickles my darker sense of humor.
I feel sorry for the one poor customer who got it, though. SPOILER:
Last edited by MrJackboots; 10-19-2007 at 08:06 PM. Reason: Spelling.
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#34
04-09-2008, 12:05 PM
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I just got a good one today. It's from a Chinese take-out place near my office. Usually their fortunes are of the generic and bland variety. Stuff like "You are enterprising and ambitious." Or, "True love unspoken is the heart's greatest sorrow."
Today's fortune was: LUCKY YOU. GET OUT YOUR PARTY CLOTHES. THE CLEAN ONES. 
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#36
04-09-2008, 12:24 PM
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I got one that said: "You should share your knowledge with others". When I showed it to my brothers and sisters they screamed in agony, since I'm a bit of an insufferable know-it-all.
Last edited by Lemur866; 04-09-2008 at 12:24 PM.
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#38
04-09-2008, 12:35 PM
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In 1984, I got Chinese food three times.
The first cookie was "Your new business venture will be successful." This was at a dinner with a literary agent. He asked to see my novel and agreed to represent you. The second cookie was "You will never have to worry about having a steady job." That has turned out to be true -- when I lost one, I'd quickly find another. The third one was "Soon you will be sitting on top of the world." Not long after, my novel sold and my daughter was born.
__________________
"One never knows, do one?" Provider of quality fantasy and science fiction since 1982.
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#39
04-09-2008, 12:45 PM
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I have one pinned up on my cube wall: "There is a nice cake waiting for you."
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#40
04-09-2008, 12:47 PM
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I just came in to say that for me, indisputably the best thing about living in Oakland is the Kar-Mee fortune cookie bakery on 7th Street in Chinatown. They use sesame flour in the cookies, and they rock! Not only that, but you can get a gynormous bag of "rejects"-- i.e., broken or misfolded cookies, for a dollar or two. They are always incredibly fresh.
Quote:
Last edited by brujaja; 04-09-2008 at 12:50 PM.
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#42
04-09-2008, 01:04 PM
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New business opportunities await you
(in bed) Which is funny enough in and of itself. But when it's your 75-year-old grandmother (well, Typo's grandmother) who gets that cookie, it's an occasion for much hilarity. "Grandma!! We didn't know you were into *that* kind of work!!!". She howled right along with the rest of us.
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#44
04-09-2008, 02:43 PM
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My 84 year old neighbor got a fortune, with an extra, hand-written note on the back "Fuck you yankee dog" She got her meal free.
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#45
04-09-2008, 03:02 PM
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