Three years or so ago I made the ultimate alternative Christmas tape. It included anti-good cheer songs, joke Christmas songs and unconventional takes on traditional Christmas songs.
Here’s the play list:
Merry Fucking Christmas-- South Park
Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight) The Ramones
Police Stop My Car-- Bob Rivers
A Gun for Chistmas-- Vandals
Christmastime for my Penis-- Vandals
Little Drum Machine Boy-- Beck
Father Christmas-- The Kinks
Christmas Wrapping-- The Waitresses
Christmas in Hollis-- Run DMC
You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch-- How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Fairytale of New York-- The Pogues
You Ain’t Gettin’ Shit For Christmas-- Red Peters
Christmas with the Devil-- Spinal Tap
I Won’t be Home for Christmas-- Blink 182
Santa’s Gonna Kick Your Ass-- Arrogant Worms
Sleigh Ride-- The Venturas
Blue Christmas-- Collective Soul
But even though this tape is full of awesome, it’s getting a little old. I’d like to make another irreverant, alternative Christmas tape but I am stuck.
P.S. The Venturas are getting inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. This is because they kick surfin’ ass!
There’s the SNL “Cock in a Box,” but I don’t remember if that was, ahem, explicitly holiday-related, or just generic gift-giving (“happy B-day, honey!”).
There’s also a Ren & Stimpy X-mas album, Crock O’Christmas. Knock yerself out…
Christmas at Ground Zero by Weird Al
The Night Santa Went Crazy (gory version) by Weird Al
The 12 Pains of Christmas by Bob Rivers
Merry Fucking Christmas by Denis Leary
Merry Fucking Christmas (or basically the entire Christmas album) from South Park
Hard Candy Christmas by Dolly Parton
Christmas in Jail – Ain’t that a pain? By Leroy Carr
The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot by Tommie Connor, Jimmy Leach and Michael Carr
First Christmas Away From Home by Stan Rogers. Has the great lyrics
Yup. That will put you in the Christmas spirit! Or make you drown yourself in the punch bowl of egg nog.
This is one of my favorite songs ever, Christmas or not. The other day my girlfriend and I were at Target looking for more assorted Christmas bits for the house when we heard this song coming from one of the Christmas aisles! It was too loud and too clear to be a ringtone on somones phone, so we spend the next half hour pushing every button on every decoration trying to find the desparately hip and needed decoration that played The Pogues.
Turns out there was one of those cardboard kiosks hawking Christmas CD’s that played samples on demand.
Not that I’m complaining or anything but-- did you all read my playlist before posting?
Fairytale of New York is the most depressing Christmas song ever sung. Especially since I know those two. They live in Queens , have 6 kids and bad teeth and like to pound on each other after some Guiness or Jamieson.
I am happy to tell you that it isnt christmas in our house until DANA sings ‘It’s gonna be a cold cold Christmas without you’ and the Kinks play their little known belter, ‘Father Christmas’ which is a bout street kids mugging a santa
‘father christmas - give us your money we’ll break your nose if you make any noise
We’ll beat you up if you dont hand it over - give all your toyyyyyyys - to the little rich boys’
We also love ‘Christmas’ by The Who from Tommy and ‘Christmas Day’ by Squeeze
“Santa Claus Is Watching You” - Ray Stevens
“A Not So Merry Christmas” - Bobby Vee
“Winter Wonderland” - Harry Connick, Jr., When Harry Met Sally soundtrack
“Christmas Is” - Run-DMC
“Back Door Santa” - B.B. King & John Popper
“Christmas Is the Time to Say I Love You” - SR-71
“Little Red Rooster” - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
“Christmas Don’t Be Late (Chipmunk Song)” - Powder
“O Come All Ye Faithful” - City High
“Christmas in the City” - Angie Martinez & Mary J. Blige
“O Holy Night” - Tracy Chapman
“We Three Kings” - Spinal Tap
“The Christmas Song” - Hootie & The Blowfish
“Santa Baby” - Rev Run & The Christmas All Stars
“Christmas Time” - The Smashing Pumpkins
“Christmas” - Blues Traveler
“Christmas Tears” - Eric Clapton
“Merry Christmas Baby” - Sheryl Crow & Eric Clapton
“Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” - Mary J. Blige, Sheryl Crow, Run-DMC, Jon Bon Jovi, John Popper, Eric Clapton, Vanessa Williams, and Tracy Chapman
“Christmas Is Near” - Ralph Stanley
“Jingle Bells” - Earl Scruggs
“Even Santa Claus Gets the Blues” - Marty Stuart
“Please Come Home for Christmas” - Willie Nelson
“'Zat You Santa Claus” - Louis Armstrong
“If it Doesn’t Snow on Christmas Day” - Gene Autry
“O Christmas Tree” - Aretha Franklin
“The Birth of Christ” - Boyz II Men
“Where Are You Christmas” - Faith Hill
“Mr. Heatmiser” - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
“Father Christmas” - The Kinks
“Lonely Christmas” - The Moonglows
“Merry, Merry Christmas Baby” - Dodie Stevens
“Surfin’ Santa” - Lord Douglas Bryan
“Love for Christmas” - The Gems
“Monsters’ Holiday” - Bobby ‘Boris’ Pickett and The Crypt-Kickers
