What would be your anti-glurge Holiday Mix?

Cafe Society
1

So in the retail where I work, I am constantly faced with Burl Ives, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, and other old-time holiday favorites. On loop. Yes, such artists are fine in small doses, but eight hours of them every other day is more than I can handle. So I am working on an Anti-Glurge Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Yule/Winter Mix.

Rules:
Must be a song that has something to do with the holiday season. Duh.

Must be either an awesome remake of an existing holiday song, a parody of a holiday song, or a funny song about holidays.

Black humor is allowed and encouraged.

My list so far:

Trans-Siberian Orchestra-“Carol of the Bells”
Weird Al-“Christmas at Ground Zero”
Slade (sp?)-“Because I Got High (Christmas Version)”
Insane Clown Posse- “Santa’s a Fat Bitch”
Boris Karloff-“Mr. Grinch”
The Kinks-“Father Christmas”
Weird Al-“The Night Santa Went Crazy”
Adam Sandler-“The Hanukkah Song”
The Lovecraftian Choir-“Carol of the Old Ones”
Weird Al- “The 12 Pains of Christmas”

So what else can you add to the mix?

2

The Mr. Hankey Song.

3

The best holiday anti-glurge mix would be one that is blessedly devoid of any song related to any holiday in any way.

4

You’ve got to have ‘Fairytale of New York’ in there.

5

12 Pains of Christmas is Bob Rivers, not Weird Al.

6

South Park’s Christmastime in Hell.

7

Santa’s Beard - TMBG

Twas the Night Before Christmas - Henry Rollins

8

Rhodes Tavern Troubadors - Christmas Really Rocks
Mediaeval Babes - Holly and the Ivy
Spinal Tap - Christmas With the Devil
Towering Bouffants - Walking in My Winter Underwear
They Might Be Giants - Santa’s Beard
The Damned - There Ain’t No Sanity Claus
Root Boy Slim - Christmas At K-Mart
The Osmonds - Pine Cones and Holly Berries
Hank Thompson - It’s Christmas Everyday in Alaska
Mojo Nixon - Trim Yo’ Tree
James Brown - Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto
Gypsy Hombres - Django Bells
Little Stinkers - I Farted on Santa’s Lap
Honky Tonk Confidential - Who Gets The Fruitcake This Year?
Butterbeans and Susie - Papa Ain’t No Santa Claus and Mama Ain’t No Christmas Tree
Jumping Jupiter - Santa’s Coming In A Whirlybird
Oscar McLollie - Dig That Crazy Santa Claus
Adrian Belew - We Three Kings

9

Mojo Nixon and The Toadliquors’ version of “Good King Wenceslas.” They don’t sing the words, just “la-la-la-la la-la-laaa” in a drunken and boisterous manner. The whole Horny Holidays album puts me in a good mood.

10

I’d say the whole South Park Christmas album. Especially Merry Fucking Christmas.

11

Joey Ramone’s “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight).”

12

Just what I came here to mention.
And, XTC’s “Thanks for Christmas”? Which would be glurge any other time, but somehow, from Andy Partridge, isn’t.

And while it’s not a song (even with Kurt Cobain backing him up) you have to include William Burrough’s “Junkie’s Christmas”.

13

Any A Very Special Christmas CD. Especially 3, 4 (Live from Washington, DC), 5, and Acoustic.

14

The Little Drummer Boy/ Silent Night/ Auld Lang Syne by Jimi Hendrix. There is a 4:29 version or 7:25 extended version.

Last year I made a CD of nothing but different versions of “Little Drummer Boy” for my family (mostly to be a PITA). The most anti-glurge were by los Straightjackets (Mexican wrestlers doing surf-punk), The Bomboras(killbilly surf-punk), Brave Combo (kings of nuclear polka) and Lori Andrews (kinda new-agey in the beginning, but interesting).

What a worrlld

15

Ren & Stimpy’s Crock O’Christmas LP. Gives me that warm, fuzzy, Yakhair & cat furball feeling…

16

Blink-182: I won’t be home for Christmas. Anything that involves chasing carolers with a baseball bat is fine with me.

Tom Lehrer: A Christmas Carol. Just brilliant. No anti-glurge mix should be without it.

17

Shouldn’t Have Given Him A Gun For Christmas - Wall Of Voodoo
Hooray For Santa Claus - Sloppy Seconds
Father Christmas - The Kinks
Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want To Fight Tonight) - The Ramones
Christmas Vacation - The Descendents
Merry Christmas - Face To Face
Christmas Is Going To The Dogs - Eels
Christmas Twist - Syd Straw
Super Sunny Christmas - Redd Kross
Lonely Christmas - Sloppy Seconds
Mary Xmas - Sun 60
3 Wise Men & A Baby - The Cavedogs
Christmas At The Zoo - Flaming Lips
Christmas Time - Chris Stamey Group
Merry, Merry Christmas - Rocky Zharp
The Saddest Time Of The Year - Spooner
We’ll Be Together - The Jellybricks
Wednesday Week - Christmas Here
When Southern Bells Ring - The Judybats
Underneath The Christmas Tree - Bill Lloyd
Christmas - The Posies
Christmas Eve - Teenage Fanclub

18

I’d go for the simple approach…Fear’s Fuck Christmas on a loop.

19

Damn you. ** Ogre**, I would have beat you to it, but I had to google “Beef Bologna” to remember who sang it.

20

Loreena McKennitt: To Drive the Cold Winter Away
The Dead Kennedys:Holiday in Cambodia
Kathy Mattea: Emmanuel
Gregory Jbara/Julie de Benedet’s O Holy Night from the most recent Broadway Care’s Christmas CD, which along with Mattea’s Emmanuel warms my atheist soul and make me almost wish I was a believer again so that I could take them to the next level.
[unknown artists]: Snoopy’s Christmas (my favorite as a child- takes the religious taste out of my mouth)