Movie sidekicks that suck

Cafe Society
1

Which is the most annoying sidekick in any movie you’ve seen?

The following rules apply:

  1. The sidekick must not be the hero/protagonist. This should be obvious.
  2. The sidekick must be demonstratably more annoying than the hero/protagonist. Combined with rule 1 this means, as much as it pains me to say, that anyone in Red Sonja is out.
  3. The sidekick must accompany the hero/protagonist for at least 1/2 of the movie. I want real sidekicks, not one-off stunts. This means the robotic taxicab in total recall is out.
  4. The sidekick must save the hero/protagonist’s life at least once. Implied/referred saving of said life is allowed. (i.e. the sidekick may have saved the hero’s life sometime before the story of the movie). This is to sort the wheat from the chaff. I’m talking 80’s action/buddy movie style sidekicks.
    Were it not for rule number 2 I would have nominated the little prince from Red Sonja (i’m pretty sure he fulfills rule 4 but I really don’t have the stomach to check). Somebody please help me out by pointing out someone else.
2

Dan Quayle, I didn’t read the rules.

3

Apparently not. :smiley:

4

upon reflection, I don’t see why my nomination is not valid. Quayle made GHWB look good.

5
  1. See rule # 4.
  2. Look up the word “movie”.
  3. I’m now adding rule #5: Sidekick may not play him/herself in said movie.
6

I hereby nominate Jar Jar Binks.

I believe this is a self-explanatory nomination, so I will not bother elaborating further.

7

That would be a good nomination if only we could determine the hero. See rule #1 and #4.

8

Herman Ferguson from **Judge Dredd ** (Rob Schneider)

Short Round from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. (Jonathan Le Quan)

9

Seriously, you may have me on rule #5, but that’s it.

10

Ah now we’re talking!

Hmm, I see I may have missed something awful. never seen ToD

11

Hmph. I guess that you’re right on his disqualification based on lack of lifesaving moments. That said, he is still royally sucky.

12

I see your Short Round and raise you Willie (Kate Capshaw).

13

He’ll probably be #1 in any quest for the most annoying misplaced comic relief. Right above that “nobody tosses a dwarf” line in that movie I once saw.

14

I must really have missed something by not seeing Temple of Doom. Still, keep 'em coming!

15

Ah, but Willie is disqualified because she was the “Love Interest/Woman In Peril,” not the sidekick.

16

It pains me to do this, but anyone who has admittedly not seen Temple of doom cannot run such a thread.

Bring on the squids

17

What if I promise to watch ToD ASAP and report back? BTW have you seen Red Sonja?

18

Another vote for Short Round.

Willie didn’t technically seem to be a sidekick. I’d add a rule #5, the sidekick must not be a love interest of a main character.

19

Nope, I haven’t had cable TeeVee since I got bored at age 17. I do have friends and an antenna, I do remember a wicked Simpsons with a new committee approved dog. Shortround as diggety doggety.

(watch some indy quick)

20

Snails, played by Marlon Wayans. He is the sidekick of Ridley, from Dungeons and Dragons.

It is functionally impossible to be a more annoying sidekick. From the very first appearance on-screen, I had an intense urge to kill him. I can understand why the villains would want to send out the army to hunt the “heroes” down to the death, as their existence is so abominable that they pollute the soil with their total obnoxiousness, of which Snails is the absolute worst.