Why do so many women think they know how to give great oral, but don't? (NSFW)

In My Humble Opinion
1

Just curious. One of the things I learned after beginning to date again last year was this aspect of sexuality. I had never had any kind of oral satisfaction with my ex-wife, and became convinced I was just not the kind of guy who could enjoy being given oral. I loved giving it, and judging by the responses and the results, was pretty talented at this.

Most of the women I dated, and got to the point of being intimate with, wanted to reciprocate my efforts, but I discouraged them after a few minutes because it was really going nowhere. It was kind of frustrating, because I thought “Guys are supposed to think this is GREAT, but it’s just kind of ‘meh’, I’d much rather have my penis in a vagina than this.” It was a bit of a Catch 22 in that I really couldn’t give a woman instruction in this. in that I had no idea how to give satisfying oral to myself. So I resigned it to one of the mysterious “things other people like, that I don’t” category.

Until… I dated this one women. I told her I really wasn’t into receiving oral, but she looked at me as if she had heard that before, and said “Let’s give it a shot.” It began simply enough, but she … well let’s just say she REALLY knew what she was doing, and for lack of a better term really seemed to enjoy what she was doing, kind of like an artist or craftsman at a work they love. There were sliders, change-ups fastballs, rhythm, foxtrots, tangos etc. I anticipated “meh”, but that changed pretty quickly, and after a while I had a life changing experience. I actually thought I was seeing stars for a minute.

Anyway… I asked why she was so amazing at this, and in comparison other women were kind of mechanical, and clueless. She said no one had taught her, and it was like giving a massage, you either had the inborn feel or knack for it, or you didn’t. She also said that several of the men she had dated had approximately the same “It must be me” attitude until she showed them the light.

Having said all this, why are so many women convinced that give amazing oral when they really don’t. Are guys so grateful to get any kind of oral they’ll praise even pedestrian efforts? Is any response other than “that’s fantastic” simply unacceptable?

Also was she wrong or right? Can giving great oral actually be taught, or is the talent simply inborn?

2

You’re right in saying that the majority of girls that give “great oral” suck (heh) at it. It’s because positive encouragement gets them to do it more…I thought that much was obvious.

I think it can be taught. I’ve trained a few GFs over the years and improved them greatly, but I’ve still never gotten anything that’s more than “meh+1” though.

3

I thought everyone knew only another man can truly know what feels good to a man. :wink:

4

:wink:

5

Boy howdy. If I had a dime for every woman who claimed to give great oral but couldn’t get me off after 20 minutes of work, well, I’d have almost enough to buy coffee!

6

There’s no such thing as someone good at giving blowjobs and someone bad at it. There’s only people who enjoy giving blowjobs, and people who don’t.

7

Some women give better blowjobs than others, but I think it usually just comes down to how much she’s into it. Also, a lot of women seem to think that sucking extremely hard on the head of the penis feels good. It’s actually very uncomfortable, or maybe that’s just me.

8

**Why do so many women think they know how to give great oral, but don’t? **

It’s probably because every man told them, “Oh, baby, you’re the best!” :wink:

9

IME, many men just don’t give instructions. It’s like they’re so grateful they’re getting one that they just go with it and don’t say anything about how they like it. You just have to learn for yourself what pleases and what doesn’t, and some of us are faster learners than others. :wink:

At any rate, I’ve had the same lament about men. If he brags about how good he is at it, chances are he ain’t. Good cunning linguists are few and far between.

10

And for the exact same reason.

11

Some women may not give instructions, but it’s probably not because they’re just grateful to be getting it. Bad oral sex is not better than none at all, to me and any of my friends that I’ve discussed this with. Women that don’t give instructions don’t give them because they’re too shy and/or it feels awkward to give them. I personally don’t* like *to give instructions, because I am shy, but since I’ve had the best possible, I now give instructions in an effort to recapture that.

12

Yeah, the same complaint that men often give about women–that they don’t say what they like–applies to men as well. If you want it differently, say something. Be polite and constructive about it, though, because telling someone that they’re flat out bad at giving head is a great way to never get it again. (which may not be that bad, depending on how not-good they are) Then again, there are some people to whom all you’re ever allowed to say is, “Baby, that was wonderful!” because they won’t take any suggestions or criticism at all.

13

I think for some women it is just natural. I swear a few women that I thought would be horrible at it turned out to be mind blowing (heh). Other women would surprise me by how incredibly boring oral sex could be.
Its a combination of hands and mouth ladies, and no teeth please!

14

I also think women learn by cues. It is obvious when he says, “oh baby, this is amazing…” but still just lays then motionless and silent. Then it is pretty obvious he isn’t into it. A group of friends and I actually talked about this and how to make it better and I actually will stop and be like, “Okay, obviously you aren’t into this, so what can I do to make it better…”

Though I haven’t gotten many complaints, though with the OP in mind, I guess that doesn’t mean much.

15

Well, thanks. Now you’ve given me an anxiety complex.

16

I am a straight female. I am very bad at giving oral sex. So bad, in fact, that I once vomited on the poor shlub I was giving it to.

17

This puts me in mind of one guy who took a really long time, so that I thought perhaps I’d lost my touch, who only told me after he came, “Oh, I almost never come from blow jobs. Maybe I should have warned you.”

I gather you aren’t this kind of guy, though.

18

Actually, I almost never come from blow jobs. But I suspect that’s because of the skill of the people involved–there’s one girl in particular who could get me off in 30 seconds flat if she put her mind to it.

19

Hmm, impressive, but I don’t think I ever want to be quite that good–it wouldn’t give me time to enjoy doing it.

20

You’d be surprised how many gay men give lousy head, yet think they’re experts. Believe, me, I know.