Inspired by discussion in this thread. See post #14 and on.
Let’s talk about women who don’t give head.
Women: Are you one? Have you ever been one? Why don’t you do it? Do you know any? What do they say about it? Do they think it’s gross that other people do it? Have they tried it at all? Do they expect men to go down on them?
Men: Have you encountered any? Is this a dealbreaker for you when considering dating someone? Have you been partnered with one? Did she do it at first and then stop, or did she never do it at all? What reasons have the women given for not wanting to perform oral sex? Did they want you to do it to them in return? How were they sexually otherwise?
Everybody: Have you ever met a man who wouldn’t let a woman perform oral sex on him? Why? Are you one? And was this a dealbreaker for you women who do like to do it?
Any other thoughts, perspectives, and additional questions are welcome.
(Yes, this is a het-centric thread. Everybody’s participation is welcome, but this is specifically about female-on-male fellatio.)
ETA–please list your gender, (approximate) age, country, and any other factors you think might be relevant. Thanks.
I don’t think I’ve ever (knowingly) met a woman who doesn’t perform oral sex. I think I’d be really gobsmacked (if you’ll pardon the pun) if someone did tell me that she doesn’t do it, especially if she had never even tried it.
And I have met a couple of guys who claimed that they wouldn’t let any girl go down on them, especially if they respected her. In fact, one of them said that he thought it was unacceptable if she kissed him below the neck at all! We were freshmen in college at the time, so maybe their views have changed, but at the time, it pretty much wiped out any chance that I would have been interested in dating either of them.
I’ve heard guys tell me about a lot of women who won’t do it. One ex says he’d never gotten one and he’d been with two other women (yes, sounds like a lie - it was true tho, I swear). A male friend says his wife won’t do it. I’ve heard it from various other guys that they’ve been with women who won’t do it.
I am not one of those types of women who will not do it. I am a fan.
I have had two guys tell me they can’t get off from a blow job. I think it’s too much stimulation for them. I have also been complimented on the fact that I “fixed” that problem for them, albeit not permanently.
I’ve encountered it, generally it was just a selfish lover kind of thing. If they didn’t want to do it they didn’t. I’ve never dated anyone who is any good at it.
The first guy I was with thought the whole idea of oral sex was disgusting. He graduated from a very prominent high school in New York and was sophisticated in some ways but extremely naive in others. I guess we had other things to think about in the Heartland besides where to get the best Chinese food. I’m hoping he loosened up somewhat after we broke up about 6 weeks later. My next SO (and later husband) had no such qualms.
Sorta like Biggirl’s experience. It was unheard of when I was a teenager. When a guy in our crowd reported that his girlfriend went down on him, we didn’t believe him. “Why would anybody do that!” If we’d known the word “perversion”, we would have used it.
My first husband asked for a blowjob once, but our relationship was so bad by then, I wouldn’t have pissed on him if he was on fire.
Things changed with my second husband, probably because of the high comfort level (and a few beers that first time).
I was with my ex-wife since we were 18 for a total of 17 years altogether and she probably gave it to me less than 5 minutes total in all that time even after suggestions. She didn’t like oral sex for herself either.
I guess I’ll chime in here and lower the average age slightly.
I’ve never come across (heh) a woman that wouldn’t give oral sex. Some of them would require a guy give them oral first (a practice I encourage), but they’d still go down on the guy after he fulfills his end of the deal.
I’ve never even met a girl, that I know of, that even thinks twice about it. They do it and the only question is what they do with the results of the happy ending.
They also all seem to be quite bad at it. The aforementioned happy ending requires some “encouragement” from the receiver before there can be an explosion of happiness.
28 y/o male. I’ve had fantastic oral and mediocre oral, and the only difference is how enthusiastic the giver is. My wife isn’t particularly excited about doing it, but she will if I ask or if she thinks I want it. I don’t ask, because it doesn’t do much for me. We both enjoy when I do it for her, but when it comes to being satisfied myself, I’m a plain vanilla type of guy.
The fantastic oral I got was at the end of high school, by a girl who probably enjoyed doing it as much as I enjoyed getting it. I got it all the time, and it was great. If my wife suddenly developed that same kind of enthusiasm my current “meh” position on receiving oral would change pretty quickly.
Unsquare Dude is the first guy I’ve enjoyed… servicing. Other boyfriends had, er, hygiene issues. Problem is he doesn’t seem comfortable with getting one, and spends most of the time trying to pull me off so we can just have sex. He has said that it seems unfair.
Some friends and I were just discussing this topic the other day. Hopefully y’all won’t mind if I answer for one of my very best friends.
She’s 27 and from the US.
She says that she doesn’t like doing it and won’t unless she has been with the guy for a bit and even then she’ll do it very rarely. She said she just doesn’t really like it much anyway, but without being sure of his monogamy then there has to be a rubber involved and she hates sucking on a rubber.
We asked her if she expects a guy to go down on her she said no.
It hasn’t ever seemed to keep her from getting a man as she’s had several long term boyfriends who accepted it. Of course, she’s blazing hot (the bitch!) so there’s that.
I’ve met a few girls who wouldn’t. I didn’t stick around. Several that loved to and were spectacular at it, they didn’t stick around.
I actually had to teach a part-time girlfriend (lived a large distance away) how to do it. Once she got the hang, it was like a wind tunnel anytime I got near her.
FWIW, I don’t understand not doing it, but then I like it. A lot.
I’ve always enjoyed giving (to females) as well. I mean REALLY enjoyed it. When I was a young cub of 22, an older (33) year old woman took me under her tutelage and showed me the ropes and let me practice on her friends
Hygiene is key though. Funky junk is a deal killer
The only girl I ever dated who wouldn’t do oral was my steady in high school. Although she wouldn’t give head, she’d go anal if I had forgotten to bring a condom.
I tried it at the request of a former boyfriend (well, he wasn’t former at the time, he was current, but this is all in the past). In fact, I tried it several times. He said I did a good job. Me - I didn’t like it. At all. It does nothing for me, in fact, it’s a big turn off. I don’t like the smell of male crotches, even clean male crotches. I loathe the taste of sperm. I’m not saying never never never ever never again but there had better be a HUGE payoff for me subjecting myself to something I find very distasteful. There doesn’t seem to be any way to make it a pleasant experience from my viewpoint.
As for men who don’t want a blowjob - yes, I have encountered that, too. In that case, the man in question was squicked out by the notion of teeth being so close to such a delicate body part.
