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  #1  
Old 05-31-2008, 06:33 PM
gaffa gaffa is offline
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Things you wish you had never learned

Inspired by this thread, what bits of knowledge have you acquired that might warrant a visit to Lacuna, Inc or a house call from the Men In Black?

My list:
  • Font kerning
  • The "anti-vibration" wire across the middle of every Trinitron CRT.
  • The reel change marker (cigarette burn) every 20 minutes in a film.

I've made a living as a video engineer, and my knowledge of compression artifacts has made it nearly impossible for me to just sit and watch TV.
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  #2  
Old 05-31-2008, 07:35 PM
CairoCarol CairoCarol is offline
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I learned that something like 90% of the weight of an old pillow is actually the biomass of dead mites. (I am not sure about the exact percentage, but if you think I'm going to google the topic and risk learning more, think again.)

Going to bed at night hasn't been the same ever since.
  #3  
Old 05-31-2008, 07:42 PM
NinetyWt NinetyWt is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CairoCarol
I learned that something like 90% of the weight of an old pillow is actually the biomass of dead mites. (I am not sure about the exact percentage, but if you think I'm going to google the topic and risk learning more, think again.)

Going to bed at night hasn't been the same ever since.
What I found said 10% "could" be dust mites. If you have good laundry practices (and follow some of the other tips about controlling dust mites) it's probably a lot less.
  #4  
Old 05-31-2008, 07:43 PM
chacoguy chacoguy is offline
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Anything specific about the Spanish Inquisition. YEESH
  #5  
Old 05-31-2008, 07:47 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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I can handle almost any gross thing. I shouldn't have even looked this up because I have been terrorized by this for 3 months and the image was starting to fade.

I give you, the man who turned into a tree:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DStwXsmZ3OE

I guess I get to start over my count now.
  #6  
Old 05-31-2008, 08:10 PM
Koxinga Koxinga is offline
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What happened to the children of Lidice, Czechoslovakia.
  #7  
Old 05-31-2008, 08:15 PM
Gatopescado Gatopescado is offline
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Wished I never had to learn how to remove the distributer on my Jeep, replace the drive gear, re-install and hand-time using only a 1/2 wrench and a nail while "in the field".

But then again, re-creations of the Baatan Death March are no fun either.

Last edited by Gatopescado; 05-31-2008 at 08:19 PM. Reason: "JEEP"- stands for Junk Each & Every Part
  #8  
Old 05-31-2008, 08:56 PM
Spice Weasel Spice Weasel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chacoguy420
Anything specific about the Spanish Inquisition. YEESH
This. And everything Elizabeth Bathory did. I pretty much would be a much happier person if I didn't know torture existed.
  #9  
Old 05-31-2008, 10:58 PM
Nars Glinley Nars Glinley is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shagnasty
I can handle almost any gross thing. I shouldn't have even looked this up because I have been terrorized by this for 3 months and the image was starting to fade.

I give you, the man who turned into a tree:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DStwXsmZ3OE

I guess I get to start over my count now.
Well that was about the saddest/grossest/weirdest thing I've ever seen.
  #10  
Old 05-31-2008, 11:48 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gaffa
[*]Font kerning.
Beat me to it. For a number of years my job was kerning every single font that existed at that time (about 6,000). I wish I could pound a white-hot spike into my brain and burn out whatever part knows about kerning. It's my life's continuous curse.
  #11  
Old 05-31-2008, 11:50 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shagnasty
I can handle almost any gross thing. I shouldn't have even looked this up because I have been terrorized by this for 3 months and the image was starting to fade.

I give you, the man who turned into a tree:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DStwXsmZ3OE

I guess I get to start over my count now.
And don't forget that poor woman who grew onto her toilet after sitting there for years.
  #12  
Old 06-01-2008, 02:40 AM
Don't fight the hypothetical Don't fight the hypothetical is offline
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How they make Pork Rinds. Especially in Mexico.




On second thought... Pork Rinds, mmmm.......
  #13  
Old 06-01-2008, 02:53 AM
Raguleader Raguleader is offline
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The fact that a rabbit screams when you beat it to death (which I learned from a friend of mine who went through aircrew survival training with the Air Force)
  #14  
Old 06-01-2008, 03:50 AM
Bosstone Bosstone is offline
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That is not dead which can eternal lie.
  #15  
Old 06-01-2008, 05:23 AM
CairoCarol CairoCarol is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shagnasty
I can handle almost any gross thing. I shouldn't have even looked this up because I have been terrorized by this for 3 months and the image was starting to fade.

I give you, the man who turned into a tree:

[URL]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DStwXsmZ3OE[URL]

I guess I get to start over my count now.
Why, oh WHY did I open that link? Because, you know, that guy is from INDONESIA.

I'm starting to itch. And I'm never going out of doors again.
  #16  
Old 06-01-2008, 05:32 AM
CairoCarol CairoCarol is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by NinetyWt:
What I found said 10% "could" be dust mites.
And I found the best source of all although he's talking about mattresses, not pillows. But we can assume similar rules apply.

So now I don't have to worry about dust mites. But I have to worry about turning into a tree.

I had a better existence before I read this thread.

Last edited by CairoCarol; 06-01-2008 at 05:32 AM.
  #17  
Old 06-01-2008, 05:50 AM
Koxinga Koxinga is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CairoCarol
Why, oh WHY did I open that link? Because, you know, that guy is from INDONESIA.

I'm starting to itch. And I'm never going out of doors again.
I didn't open the link but have read about him before. IIRC, his condition is caused by some kind of immune deficiency that makes him unable to combat human papillomavirus. So if you've ever had a wart, this is what it could potentially look like in more advanced stages.
  #18  
Old 06-01-2008, 06:33 AM
Surok Surok is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by panache45
Beat me to it. For a number of years my job was kerning every single font that existed at that time (about 6,000). I wish I could pound a white-hot spike into my brain and burn out whatever part knows about kerning. It's my life's continuous curse.
And for the rest of existence, I will be wishing that I had not looked up 'kerning'. I can see now that knowing this is going to be the bane of my life.

A little like when you learn a new word, and then within 24 hours, you will come across it again, usually several times. But this is gonna be worse, because we are surrounded by letters. And I'm gonna do the kerning twitch.

Thank you, SDMB, for derailing my life in new and unexpected ways.
  #19  
Old 06-01-2008, 08:56 AM
Cluricaun Cluricaun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raguleader
The fact that a rabbit screams when you beat it to death (which I learned from a friend of mine who went through aircrew survival training with the Air Force)
Even better, the scream of a rabbit dying sounds just like a a baby crying.
  #20  
Old 06-01-2008, 12:07 PM
metronome metronome is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shagnasty
I can handle almost any gross thing. I shouldn't have even looked this up because I have been terrorized by this for 3 months and the image was starting to fade.

I give you, the man who turned into a tree:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DStwXsmZ3OE

I guess I get to start over my count now.
Holy freakin' crap! I am far too curious for my own good, I think. Now I have a chill and I itch all over.

For my part, I wish my grandpa had never told me about some kind of seed that will work its way down into your skin and cause you terrible pain. (And once when I complained of aching nail beds, he asked if I'd played with any bamboo shoots lately. To this day, I have an irrational fear of bamboo. Thanks, grandpa! > )

Well! I'm off to show the tree-man to everyone I know!
  #21  
Old 06-01-2008, 12:25 PM
Pork Rind Pork Rind is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Don't fight the hypothetical
On second thought... Pork Rinds, mmmm.......
What?
  #22  
Old 06-01-2008, 07:59 PM
Lillith Fair Lillith Fair is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Koxinga
What happened to the children of Lidice, Czechoslovakia.
Thanks for that.
  #23  
Old 06-01-2008, 08:00 PM
Lillith Fair Lillith Fair is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Surok
And for the rest of existence, I will be wishing that I had not looked up 'kerning'. I can see now that knowing this is going to be the bane of my life.

A little like when you learn a new word, and then within 24 hours, you will come across it again, usually several times. But this is gonna be worse, because we are surrounded by letters. And I'm gonna do the kerning twitch.

Thank you, SDMB, for derailing my life in new and unexpected ways.
Great. Now I have to look it up.
  #24  
Old 06-01-2008, 09:46 PM
Sattua Sattua is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by metronome
For my part, I wish my grandpa had never told me about some kind of seed that will work its way down into your skin and cause you terrible pain. (And once when I complained of aching nail beds, he asked if I'd played with any bamboo shoots lately. To this day, I have an irrational fear of bamboo. Thanks, grandpa! > )
Hmm. Spanish needle grass, maybe? It's discussed in the Little House books--it's able to twist its way into flesh.

For *my* part, I could have done without learning how to ice, behead, pith, and castrate a frog in order to squeeze the good stuff out of its testicles to make baby frogs.

The females get an injection of human chorionic gonadotropin, have the eggs squeezed out of them, and go home. The males aren't so lucky.

Their legs straighten out as you cut their heads off. The kitchen shears in the lab were kinda dull. You had to put your whole weight down on them and bounce a couple of times, to get through the spine.

Last edited by Sattua; 06-01-2008 at 09:49 PM.
  #25  
Old 06-01-2008, 10:02 PM
capybara capybara is offline
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I think I heard lately that the guy in Indonesia is doing well with a treatment based on vitamin C now (some doctor in the states heard about him and had a clever idea).
And I've decided that I don't want to think hard enough to come up with a good answer to the OP and unleash awfulness on my mind and upset tonight's sleep pattern.
  #26  
Old 06-01-2008, 10:16 PM
NajaNivea NajaNivea is offline
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That despite the ridiculous amount of money, public outrage and yuppie/hippie smuggery involved in the creation of the Davis Toad Tunnel, the air exchange isn't really sufficient and... they asphyxiate halfway through.

Poor toads. Someone smashed up their little hotel, too.

Last edited by NajaNivea; 06-01-2008 at 10:16 PM.
  #27  
Old 06-01-2008, 10:57 PM
GuanoLad GuanoLad is offline
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There's nothing wrong with kerning, folks.

It's a little irritating to see bad graphic design, aka "look what button I found in Photoshop", but seeing poor kerning is not a big deal.
  #28  
Old 06-02-2008, 12:01 AM
Omegaman Omegaman is offline
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The fighting technics that were developed by the British for the use of the Fairbairn-Sykes combat knife. Although the most effective hand to hand use of a knife in combat fighting ever developed by man, I now can't get it out of my mind when confronted by a physical altercation wether I have a knife or not.
I carry a Ka-bar knife with me every day, in favor of carring a hand gun due to the potential of using a gun when fear is present. I believe I have conquered that fear, but that slim chance that I will let fear ovecome me is everpresent. The use of my knife has not. I do not carry it in my pocket but in my bag, further extending the lag time before I am holding it in my hand. I have perfected the art of hand to hand combat but the speed and other advantages of ones opponent can never be underestimated.
This is a lesson I have learned through experience and with my age become ever more a factor to be placed at the forefront of confrontation.
Needles to say, avoiding any conrontation is always to avoided, and my skills as a man, and as a Christian have proven to be the first and foremost tool in avoiding confrontation but others actions and hate can never be discounted.

Last edited by Omegaman; 06-02-2008 at 12:04 AM.
  #29  
Old 06-02-2008, 12:52 AM
astro astro is offline
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Face zit guy
  #30  
Old 06-02-2008, 01:03 AM
Freudian Slit Freudian Slit is offline
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How could you? I will never eat again.
  #31  
Old 06-02-2008, 02:03 AM
nikenik2069 nikenik2069 is offline
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I am scarred. scarred for life. I am never eating pork rinds again.
I wish I could delete the memory from my mind the image of the 60 year old woman I work with talking about all she needs is a man in cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. Eww. Then another woman the same age and her were both having a discussion on their preferences. I think my ears started to bleed.
  #32  
Old 06-02-2008, 09:18 AM
Dead Cat Dead Cat is offline
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Reading the mouseover, I thought "Font kerning" was some illicit sexual behaviour performed in a church.
  #33  
Old 06-02-2008, 10:04 AM
MovingTarget MovingTarget is offline
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Man, half the crap I've stumbled across on the internet falls into this catagory. I'm not going to elaborate upon this as I don't want to subject anyone else to these horrors. But lets just say I have a few images in my head that can/do keep me awake some nights.

MT
  #34  
Old 06-02-2008, 10:12 AM
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Obudar Obudar-Sur-Glane
  #35  
Old 06-02-2008, 10:37 AM
metronome metronome is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sattua
Hmm. Spanish needle grass, maybe? It's discussed in the Little House books--it's able to twist its way into flesh.
Must... resist... urge... to Google...

(Might've been it, though.)
  #36  
Old 06-02-2008, 12:00 PM
Solfy Solfy is offline
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I wish I had never seen the nature program where in a surinam toad was giving birth, if that's what you want to call it.
  #37  
Old 06-02-2008, 12:44 PM
BaneSidhe BaneSidhe is offline
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I wish I'd never learned how to change the toner in the 2 printers we have in my section of the office, including the very cranky color printer. Or how to change the toner and troubleshoot misfed paper in the copy machine either.
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  #38  
Old 06-02-2008, 01:17 PM
Terminus Est Terminus Est is offline
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What happened to the children of Lidice, Czechoslovakia.
Son of a bitch!
  #39  
Old 06-02-2008, 01:54 PM
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I wish I had never learned that your tongue rests on the roof of your mouth. I might have learned that here. I can't remember.

Muahahaha!
  #40  
Old 06-02-2008, 01:57 PM
ArrMatey! ArrMatey! is offline
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Something refered to by my screenwriting teacher as 'Third appearance law', when dealing with seemingly innocuous minor characters in films. It has variants in anime ('third power-use law') and action films ('third (or fourth) nazi law'), but the basic root of it all has spoiled many a mystery movie for me.
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  #41  
Old 06-02-2008, 02:02 PM
Ice Cream Man Ice Cream Man is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ArrMatey!
Something refered to by my screenwriting teacher as 'Third appearance law', when dealing with seemingly innocuous minor characters in films. It has variants in anime ('third power-use law') and action films ('third (or fourth) nazi law'), but the basic root of it all has spoiled many a mystery movie for me.
So what is the law exactly?
  #42  
Old 06-02-2008, 02:06 PM
Freudian Slit Freudian Slit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ice Cream Man
I wish I had never learned that your tongue rests on the roof of your mouth. I might have learned that here. I can't remember.

Muahahaha!
Mine doesn't. At least, I don't think. Why is that disturbing?
  #43  
Old 06-02-2008, 02:08 PM
Ice Cream Man Ice Cream Man is offline
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Originally Posted by Freudian Slit
Mine doesn't. At least, I don't think. Why is that disturbing?
Not disturbing, but whenever I remember it I can't stop thinking about my tongue and then I can't just let it rest normally... kind of like thinking about your breathing.
  #44  
Old 06-02-2008, 02:13 PM
Zsofia Zsofia is offline
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Originally Posted by BaneSidhe
I wish I'd never learned how to change the toner in the 2 printers we have in my section of the office, including the very cranky color printer. Or how to change the toner and troubleshoot misfed paper in the copy machine either.
I worked in a real estate office the summer after my freshman year of college. After I graduated, they were still calling me when the power went out and the fax machine lost all its presets.
  #45  
Old 06-02-2008, 02:50 PM
Cat Fight Cat Fight is offline
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Rotten.com and most of its contents.
  #46  
Old 06-02-2008, 03:02 PM
SlowMindThinking SlowMindThinking is offline
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The existence of Candiru

wikipedia

The Master
  #47  
Old 06-02-2008, 03:33 PM
ArrMatey! ArrMatey! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ice Cream Man
So what is the law exactly?
The third appearance law happens in most lazilly-written mysteries for the screen. To wit: If you see a supposedly 'minor' character twice, it means that the third time they appear, they will either be killed or be the murderer, usually the latter. The week I learned this, I watched The Bone Collector and nailed the murderer on that alone.

The variants:
Anime- The third time a major power is used by the main character, it will fail, almost always because the target of the power is somehow resistant / more powerful than it. (Nailed some vampire-anime with this last week. "The scythe isn't going to work this time." "How do you know?" *pause* "Wow... How -did- you know?")

Adventure- (The 'third or fourth nazi' law). The protagonist will, in a chase, be able to take out the first two persuers easilly, but will be stopped by the third or fourth nobody, blossoming into a full-scale fight between said chaser and said protagonist.
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  #48  
Old 06-02-2008, 05:22 PM
Celyn Celyn is offline
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I'm glad you posted that, ArrMatey!, because I returned to this thread purely to ask. I have no idea why I cared but just couldn't stop wondering

What I hate learning is about stuff that I like but is VERY Bad in terms of environmental effects, exploitation of workers or whatever. Coffee, chocolate .... well, most things really.
  #49  
Old 06-02-2008, 06:45 PM
gaffa gaffa is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BaneSidhe
I wish I'd never learned how to change the toner in the 2 printers we have in my section of the office, including the very cranky color printer. Or how to change the toner and troubleshoot misfed paper in the copy machine either.
One of my personal mottoes is "Competence is it's own punishment". The incompetent are competence consumers. If you display competence, the incompetent will attach themselves to you like leeches.
  #50  
Old 06-02-2008, 08:50 PM
AngryIrishLass AngryIrishLass is offline
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The process the human body goes through when burned in a fire. I could have done without the pictures too.

Chemical burns don't seem to bother me as much.
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