I learnt that Herecles had a hairy butt.
That the little computer problem that I couldn’t solve wasn’t just one little thing that I didn’t know – our server needs to be rebuilt.
I learned that not having access to a computer 10 gazillion times a day causes me to be very unhappy. Damn virus. 
I learned that I could sneak off for an hour twice at work and no one noticed.
I learned that my parents must die…
I learned how to put a new blade on a bandsaw (I think that was it or was it a scroll saw?)
I learned that P=J/t and that Physics is not as easy as I first found it though I am not doing too bad in it.
I learned that I don’t like to get up in front of class to give presentations (I put mine off till today)
I learned I hate not having lots of access to the internet (I really need my own phone line or maybe one of those nifty cable connections…)
I learned that Pierre Trudeau died.
I learned that the film “Excuse me, darling, but Lucas loved me” is in Spanish.
I learned how to say “Fuck you” in madrileño.
I learned (again) that no matter how often I think to myself
“I am now officially talking to the dumbest fuckin person on Earth!”
I am always proven wrong within a few minutes.
I learned that sometimes the guys that you least suspect are the sweetest on the inside.
I learned that some guys are so sweet that they don’t need Hallmark.
I learned that my friends are there for me in the bad times and will celebrate with me in the good times.
I learned that science teachers only look evil but will coo over you sometimes.
I learned that sonnets are really special when others write them about you.
I learned that my ex is a complete and total idiot.
Kitty
I also learnt that van Gogh wants me to wear a hat when he accompanies me to the river.
I learned that I f**king HATE MS Word. I know it’s a powerful program that does just about anything, but I just can’t get it to do what I want it to do.
Grrrrrrr
I just learned that I have absolutely no idea what Mega is talking about.
I just learned that 10w40 is not a good marital aide.
I also learned that Manzanita branches will stop a Kawasaki klr 600 very fast when it becomes wedged in the chain (thats a big on-off road motorcycle in case you were wondering)
I just learned that the Russian Navy has sold two of it’s 4 aircraft carriers. One to China, which is now an amusement park, another to India, which will become a warship.
The other two are probably pretty cheap. 
I learned that when the Exorcist was originally released in the 70s, some people had heart attacks.
I learned that it’s a very good idea to keep easy to put on clothing by your bed in case there’s a morning fire alarm.
I learned that some profs are great in that they don’t mind if you’re late because of a fire alarm.
I learned that some people I’m becoming friends with are starting to ask me for advice.
I learned that I’m trusted enough to be named a co-chair of the dartmouth rainbow alliance.
I learned that I can buy flowers at 40 cents each on campus and they’re worth more than that in beauty.
Today I learned that China is an amusement park. (India, I knew about).
that’s not even remotely funny
If you’re serious, seek psychiatric help.
I learned that when you first play FFVIII you should not start at midnight. You won’t get to bed till after 3:30am. That combined with getting up for work at 7:00am allows to forget to pick people up.
My guess is that he probably meant this is the sense of “I realized my parents are mortal” rather than “I’ve decided to kill my parents”.