Things I've learned

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This is not the cheesy forward that’s circulating around. Nope, this is just US…what we’ve learned in the course of life. This is notsomuch the intellectual, educational pursuits, but rather just plain life stuff, from the mundane to the profound to the humorous to the painful.

And of course, I’ll start.

I’ve learned to feed the cat at night so he doesn’t harass me at 5am for a feeding.

I’ve learned that adding oil to boiling pasta prevents boiling over.

I’ve learned that Mom and Dad actually weren’t all that bad.

I’ve learned that just because a woman shares my parents doesn’t make her a sister.

I’ve learned to wait until the cat vomit is dry to clean it up.

I’ve learned that to give up on a kid is worse than a sin, it’s criminal.

I’ve learned to dust after I vacuum, when the new layer of dust has settled.

I’ve learned that if someone has to say “I’m the life of the party!” “I’m really smart!” “I have a big dick!”, the contrary is typically the truth.

Similarly, I’ve learned that anyone who says something tasteless or cruel and is called on it, then claims “I was kidding! What’s your problem?!” is a grade-A jerk.

I’ve also learned that admitting error and saying “I’m sorry” makes you better person.

I’ve learned reed fish like to swim into the filter.

I’ve learned never to ask a student, “Did you…?” but rather, “Why did you?”

I’ve also learned that when you ask “Did you hit him?” a child’s answer invariably starts not with “yes” or “no,” but with “Well, he was…”

I’ve learned that integrity is difficult to maintain and is often an extremely unpopular choice.

I’ve learned to use my hand and maintain eye contact when giving oral sex.

I’ve learned that premarital sex can be okay, and even more than okay…it can be ethereal, beautiful, and fun.

I’ve learned that people aren’t watching me as closely as I thought they were.

I’ve learned that my mistakes are forgiveable.

I’ve learned that it is easier to say “I love you” to someone than believe them when they say the same to me.

I’ve learned that love is both more imperfectly human and more miraculously wonderful than my naive self once thought.

I’ve learned a best friend makes a marvelous mate.

And finally…I’ve learned that not everyone on the internet is a socially inept loser, but that real people and real friendships can be found there.

2

I’ve finally learned that when I go out in public, nobody is looking at me. Yes, that’s right, DDG, every single person you meet at Wal-Mart is so totally involved in his own little life that he is looking right through you. You do not exist, as far as he is concerned.

I’m just sorry it took me 30 years to figure it out. But now I am free! Free! Nobody’s looking at me! Hooray!

(Also, you should let perma-press clothes go through the cool-down part of the dryer cycle, then they won’t get so wrinkled.)

3

These lessons came at high expense. Learning them I lost most hope in my life.
[ol][li]Doing the right thing doesn’t always have a good outcome.[/li][li]People who love you will lie about important things, even when it results in you getting horribly hurt.[/li][li]It is possible to not have a single person on the planet care about you. You don’t have to be a mass-murderers to get that treatment. It also happens to those whose life falls apart.[/li][li]Non-fat women don’t like fat men. They will tell you how they are just nterested on the inside of a man, but actually they are just as concerned about physical appearance as men are.[/li][li]When a woman’s life falls apart, other women help her through it. When a man’s life falls apart he is deserted.[/ol][/li]Obviously I have a bad attitude, but you have your life destroyed in the short period of a year and see where that leaves you.

4

I’ve learned that love can be found in the most unexpected places.

I’ve learned to always trust my gut instinct, that’s why nature gave it to me.

I’ve learned to keep spare rolls of toilet paper within reach of the toilet.

I’ve learned that I don’t get there any faster riding someone’s rear end on the road, and that by hanging back a little, I reach my destination much calmer and relaxed.

I’ve learned that broken hearts heal.

I’ve learned that men like women who at least have a basic understanding of and/or interest in sports. If you learn something about sports, you’ll not only find you enjoy it, but you’ll score lots of brownie points as well. :smiley:

I’ve learned that life simply isn’t fair, and there are often no answers for things that happen.

I’ve learned that my 3 favorite words are, “I love you,” whether I’m saying them or hearing them.

5

Sometimes presentations are best done without fancy posters or overhead projections.

Never wash dark green towels with white towels, socks, underwear, or other undergarments. The resultant lime-green color takes one year or more to come out.

Dating people you meet on the yearly band trip is not a good idea.

If you go to Europe, go nuts about taking pictures. If you don’t, you’ll regret it.

Just because you order lasagna in Italy does not mean it will be good.

Packing for your first year at college takes 3 weeks. Packing for your second year at college takes 3 hours.

If you have the chance to see a work of art in person, don’t let a photo of it in an artwork be enough for you. Go see the real thing.

For girls: Guys can be jerks and pigs. But other females can be even worse in ways that guys would never dare try.

“Can’t” is a dirty 4-letter word.

6

Dang it…grumble That art one should read:

If you have the chance to see a work of art in person, don’t let a photo of it in a book or magazine be enough for you. Go see the real thing.

7

Re art: It’s unbelievable, but the last time I was in Paris, I went to the Musee d’Orsay.

There are tourists there who have paid thousands of dollars and flown for seven hours to get to the queen city of Europe and are now standing in front of some of the most gorgeous and moving artworks in western civilization.

And they walk up to one, take a picture, and then walk away.

deep breath

LOOK AT THE FUCKING PICTURE! YOU ARE RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF IT!

Don’t go home and look at it in a bad 4 x 6 kodakolor reproduction!

LOOK AT IT NOW!!!

deep breath

Sorry. Please go on.

8

Shayna stole all my answers!

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I’ve learned:

To use the KISS principal. Keep It Simple Stupid. When in doubt about two choices, choose the one that is simplest. This is especialy true as an artist. Some times the simple designs are the best. Don’t try ro use all of the technological advances just because you have them.

To be nice to departimental secretaries. They really run things. They know where all od the bodies are buried. They can make things so much easier on you. OR harder if you piss them off.

Take time to really see the beautiful things in life. If you are driving in the country at night, stop and look at the milky way. Or stop ant the scenic overlooks. If you live in a city, go to the observation deck on the tallest building in town.

As an artist in the performing arts. Yes, it’s nice to create art, but dont forget that it is entertainment. You have to entertain your audience. Also, it is not brain surgery. If you fail, there is always another chance to be good. People generaly wont care six weeks later.

10

The similarities among people far outnumber the differences.

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  • that no one can give you happiness or self worth, but finding it for yourself is a wonderful thing.

  • that embarrassing or wrong decisions are usually forgotten in a day or two. Life continues.

  • that it won’t matter that you missed that movie/television show after all.

  • That taking a few minutes from watching television to listen to your grandad talk about his youth will provide you with wonderful memories and knowledge about “him”.

  • that parents and grandparents are PEOPLE. They went through puberty, they had hard times, they had hopes and fears. They are not omnipotent. You can hurt them if you are not careful.

  • that sometimes you have to let go of people to find new love and happiness.

  • that you should stretch before exercise

  • that the love of a cat is unconditional.

  • that sometimes you have to see and experience the worst before you can climb out and find something better.

  • that sunny days are meant to be enjoyed not ignored. (especially in London)

  • that stopping to smell the roses actually brightens your day.(nothing better than roses, although works with all flowers)

  • that sex is fun and good.

  • that distance sometimes “does” make the heart grow fonder.

  • that travel makes you learn.

  • that overnight trains while travelling in Europe save money.

  • that you can meet fantastic people on the train. And never see them again.

  • in other countries always have back up tissues/paper in your pocket.

  • that sharing your ideas is never a bad thing, no matter how eloquent or disjointed your expression may be.

12

-The unexamined life really isn’t worth living. Ask yourself some tough questions once in awhile.

-If you plant a garden (even just one plant), tend it, and watch it grow, you’ll feel good.

-I am not responsible for anyone else’s life or happiness. I am only responsible for my life and my happiness. That’s been a very, very hard lesson to learn.

-I didn’t think that I wanted to be a parent. I was wrong. My daughter is an absolute joy. I wish you all could experience the love I feel for her.

-Few things in life are more satisfying than a good night’s sleep.

-Friends don’t care how long its been since you last spoke. Pick up the telephone and give them a call. You’ll both be glad that you did.

-Turn off your computer and go outside, right now. Look around. The world is out there, not in here.

13

Mindless Pointless Stuff I Have Learnt.

  • People can change, and not always for the best.

  • You never realise how much you’ll miss a person until they’re no longer there.

  • Eating Disorders don’t just affect women.

  • Hope is something that we all have.

  • No matter how much we try to have an effect on our lives nothing can stop the moon coming out at night, and the sun coming out at day.

  • Trying too hard is guaranteed failure

  • Love isn’t something to be afriad of, nor is it about looking into each others eyes, it’s about looking to the future in the same direction.

  • If you look too hard for flaws in a relationship you will always find them

14

I’ve learned that no matter now much it feels like the world has fallen apart, the sun will rise the next morning, and I will be expected to get up with it.

If it won’t matter in 30 years, I shouldn’t worry about. That’s an easy lesson to learn, and a harder lesson to follow.

An active imagination can be a burden when you spend the majority of your life imagining what you want your life to be. The picture in your head cannot exsist without action.

Mac and Cheese is infinately improved with extra romano cheese and pepper. Mmmmm…

Don’t ask what feltching is.

As stupid as it sounds, when I get stressed, I find that if I concentrate on just breathing, I feel better. Removing everything from my focus but the most basic function of the human body makes me focus on whatever I’m stressed out more.

When I get angry at someone, it doesn’t matter if what they did was justified or not. It is my anger, it is my responcibility to figure out WHY what they did made me angry, and it is my responsibility to decide if this person is worthy of my anger.

Kozy Shack Rice Pudding is the best. No lie.

Asking people what they want is ineffective. Asking them if they want option A or option B is highly effective.

It is my responcibility to make myself happy. No one else can give me fulfillment. “Don’t compromise yourself – it’s all you’ve got.” -Janis Joplin. At the end of the day, I have my family and friends, but I have to answer to myself, so I damn well better be OK with my actions that day.

15

Things I’ve learned:

Stop and smell the roses

Life doesn’t owe you a thing, you get out of life what you put in it

Everyone that calls you friend, isn’t a friend. Choose your friends with care, for that is how people will judge you, by the company you keep.

Just when you think people can’t surprise you anymore—surprise

Love is to be given and shared, not held within

Not everyone thinks you are wonderful

Morals are not what they used to be

Be careful not to judge other people, you could be judged by the same standards

Not everyone shares your view on faith

Children keep you young, they are the future, treat them with love and kindness

A dog is a man/woman’s best friend

Material possessions will not make you happy

16

A wall built to keeps others out serves the dual purpose of keeping the builder in.

The most onerous phrase one can read on Christmas Eve is “Some assembly required”.

17

The greatest thing I’ve ever learned
is just to love
and be loved in return.
-Eden Ahbez

18

Living for NOW is much, much more enjoyable and exciting than planning for later.

Friendships generally start from pointless chatter.

People who ask “why?” and really want your answer are startling and interesting.

The most powerful person in a group is often the quietest, and least likely to want that power.

Some people thrive on conflict.

If you put cottage cheese through the blender and add an egg, it’s a very passable substitute for ricotta.

It’s very possible to have friends who hate each other. It’s also possible to keep them both.

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I have learned:

Nothing is worth getting stressed out over. I don’t stress about anything anymore. I can only do so much in one day and spending time with my kids is more important than getting the dishes done.

Bad things happen to good people. There’s no point in dwelling on it or thinking about the “What if’s.” Yes, it sucks but I can’t change it so I just have to deal with it.

Children are fascinated by everything! Leaves, feathers, rocks, bugs, animals… everything imaginable.

Sex is not dirty just because you’re not married.

There’s no such thing as being too tired for sex! Whenever you have the opportunity, GO FOR IT!! :slight_smile:

Chicken breasts can be prepared in a variety of ways!

Water the plants every 3 weeks and give them lots of sunlight!

Diaper Genies are a waste of money.

Baby wipes are good for cleaning bathroom sinks, mirrors, and car interiors.

There’s lots more that I learned but I will post it later.

20

Everyone is stupid once in awhile.

Authority is best earned, not granted.

You can totally ignore TV, and not be harmed in the slightest.

The best talent to have is to explain things simply.

Relax in traffic.

Never assume another person’s ideas are better than yours.

Winning the Rat Race makes you the #1 Rat.

Wives come before computers. The computer won’t be jealous.

If someone insists their ideas are better, make them earn it.

Never argue with morons, bystanders won’t be able to tell you apart.