I’m a single male and I’ve stumbled upon this website called “www.loveme.com”. On this site are many many “ads” from women from the eastern European/Russian/Asian countries. I’ve gotten a very good response so far from females I’ve messaged, and there are very many personal video uh “recommendations” about this site from men (mostly older, but some as young as myself) that makes me reassured about the site. It is very expensive though, eg one must pay $10.00 to either read or send a message to a particular female. They also offer actual tours going to major cities in Russia/Ukraine/Asia, but these 11 day tours they’re charging about $4100 per person.
Anyone have any experience with these websites? Is there a better, less expensive option out there?
Of course I must add that I am still considering local females, but I feel I can’t really pass this up without seeing what is out there.
I must also add that the reason that I’m raising this question at all is that I think this information can benefit other men in similar situations, ie 40-something years old, still single, not really any good prospects in the local area and the biological clock is TICKING louder with every passing day.
If you just browse through the ads, there are some very very beautiful women here that seem to be very highly motivated to become a spouse. They seem to be sincere in terms of trying to establish a strong lasting relationship, not just wanting one’s “passport” or a green card out of it.
Has anyone any experience with these tours at all that can shed light on whether this is a viable alternative to the dating hell in some areas of the US?
I mean alot of women go to Alaska right because there are so many single males there. Wouldn’t this be similar?
Dean.
I dunno, man … the brutal truth is that this kind of thing just can’t be legit from top to bottom. The world doesn’t work like that.
Even if the whole set-up is relatively legit, they certainly can’t promise what your prospective bride will do once on American soil. You certainly can’t buy (companionate) love. If you’re not really concerned about love, you really can’t even buy loyalty or trust.
Well, the only way would be to actually fork over the $4100 for a tour, actually meet the girl and see how things go from there.
It would at least be a way to meet alot of marriage minded women, start “something” with the ones you like, spend a little bit of time with these women to get to know them better before one leaves. It would be just a “start” though, and most likely the rubber will meet the road at the long distance communication phase to see if it lasts or not.
I dunno. This option seems like one opportunity out there, albeit an expensive one.
Has anyone any real life experiences with these “romance tour” sites?
I was interested in similar things a couple of years ago. Happily, one Elena Petrova, through her website, explained the cost of pursuing a woman from Eastern Europe: the visa fees, travel, hotels, etc, etc. And as the suitor, you would be responsible for everything. She estimated the cost of meeting, romancing, and immigrating someone from Eastern Europe to be at least $20,000. Since I was broke at the time, I abandoned the idea.
I still have her book, which was called something like “How to Meet a Girl Like Me”, and explaned cultural differences between Westerners and Easterners. It was an eye-opener though. All sorts of little differences that would never have occurred to me.
These days, I get the impression that the Wild East time when Westerners were automatically Teh Hawt in Eastern Europe is long gone. Russia is becoming richer on a tide of oil revenue, and North America is strained and becoming poorer. We have to compete on our individual merits again, alas, and anyone who claims otherwise is probably a scammer.
Similarity - Female American Citizen goes to Alaska (an American State) to find a guy because there are a lot more of them up there than women. Guys she finds in Alaska will have (at worst) an ulterior motive to talk about marriage but really just want to use her for sex and maybe money.
Difference - Male American Citizen goes to Russia (a non-American State) to find a woman because women where he lives are somehow unsuitable for marriage. Women he finds in Russia will likely have the ulterior motive of wanting his money and obtaining citizenship for themselves and subsequent (or previous) children. Once they move to the States and get married, they’ll ask the husband to send money to their family back home. Once all their goals are obtained (few years, tops) they’ll leave their (probably older) American husband for a younger man. Almost every damned time. Also, the ‘single women’ on these sites aren’t necessarily unmarried. It’s not like a Russian marriage licence is going to turn up on Google, is it?
Ever met a girl here on American soil where things go well for the first few months and then incompatibility rears its ugly head? She has no reason to keep you around; there are plenty of other dudes out there, she can date another, she calls it quits (or you do). At least there both of you walk away clean.
In this case, that girl has a big green reason to fake it, cheat on you, ferret away whatever you give her, cheat on you, divorce you, take half, and laugh.
No offense, dude, women don’t flock to older, less attractive dudes. They flock to older, less attractive dudes’ STUFF.
You can gussy it up any way you want to, but if you’re essentially being charged (once you read enough e-mails, meet enough women to “justify” the trip, and do whatever "courtship rituals will certainly be required of you when you go over there) a ten-thousand-dollar cover charge just to meet women who would have no objective reason to come running to you… well…
you know what they say in poker. Look around the room and try to spot the fish. If you can’t spot the fish, the fish is YOU.
ETA: Nawth Chucka’s last paragraph in his post is not as Southern-fried-cool as my post, but as valuable if not more so.
Personal experience:
Friend from England, good looking in a Hugh Grant kind of way, went to Russia on business trip and met a gorgeous woman. She said and did everything right and they were married in less than a year. Fast forward three years and she has taken his money, sent for her boyfriend back in Russia who has come to England to live with her, and my friend’s daughter with her, leaving him in debt and miserable. He is convinced it was planned from the beginning to get him to foot the bills and get her the papers to live in England, and then send for the boyfriend.
American friend in Berlin, decent looking, met cute Eastern European woman who again, said and did everything just right. They were married, she got her papers, divorced him about two months later and within weeks, her boyfriend from back home had moved to Berlin and brought her “surprise!” child she had had with him and never bothered to mention previously. He too is convinced that was the plan all along.
Both of those guys were highly educated, neither of them exactly losers in the looks department, and still - they were both scammed.
Just my two cents.
If I pony up $4100 there better be some goddamned prostitution. I want bisexual Estonia triplets in cheerleader outfits for $4100. Otherwise just buy your own ticket to Russia and do tourist shit and maybe you meet some nice babushka and things work out. If you think she’s gonna turn out to be a faithless whore, you just do what you’d do with any other girl in that situation: no pre-nup, no ring.
I’m a woman, but I guess I need to work on my Southern-fried-cool, as you say. I am blunt when it comes to advising male friends, as that seems to be the only thing they might listen to when it comes to matters of the penis.
I mean HEART, that’s the ticket.
Which leads me to reiterate my most famous and repeated piece of advice - never put your penis in a crazy person. It may or may not apply in this situation, but you never know.
I think the problem is, let’s just say you can find a sincere female interested in marrying you and has no ulterior motive. Do you really think you can establish a genuine relationship with someone via email, phone or a relatively short visit toa foreign country?
I dated my wife 6 months before I was sure I wanted to marry her. And during that time we spent hours sitting and talking and getting to know each other. How can someone do that with a really long distance “relationship”? Forget that she may have ulterior motives, may not speak perfect English, isn’t familliar with our customs, will have difficulty getting a job in the US etc.
If you are really fascinated by Russian girls , and there’s nothing wrong with that, you should think about relocating to Russia for a few years and meet women there just as you would meet them here. I don’t think there are any legitimate shortcuts one can take that aren’t a scam on at least some level…
My brother is very happily married to a Russian woman (who I love), but they did not meet in a dating service or anything like that. They met in Germany, at university, and she was already established there as an instructor. Indeed, you could say she took a little bit of a step down marrying him for a couple of reasons.
So don’t think all Russian women are scammers–just meet a nice Russian girl who already has her own life outside of Russia and isn’t desperate to get out of the country. (Say what you will, life is still pretty difficult there.)
Nawth Chucka, that is very wise advice. Which I have struggled to remember at times. Fortunately, I did remember in time.
I think part of the danger with such long-distance introduction services (let’s give them a more accurate name) is cross-cultural differences in body language and non-verbal communications. Add that many men who are looking for a long-term relationship and have to resort to such measures may not be all that good at picking up subtle cues even in their own culture. They’d be at a double disadvantage when faced with cues from a different culture.
I do know three couples who married cross-culturally (one of each couple from the West, one from Eastern Europe), but they did not meet through such services; they met at international conventions conducted in Esperanto.
Esperanto tends to attract somewhat idealistic people who at least at first align with its hope of open communication across borders for all; I suspect that this tends to reduce the chance of marriage-scammers somewhat. (It doesn’t eliminate it entirely, of course; Esperanto-speakers can be assholes and idiots as well. I’ve even gotten advance-fee-fraud spam in Esperanto.)
The point is that these couples met though activities they were doing independently, not through some sort of introduction service. And they met a while ago, when they were younger, and lodging and long-distance travel was cheaper than it is now, and they could spend more easily time overseas getting to know each other.
It occurs to me that in a large multicultural city like Toronto, one could get good practice in cross-cultural communications simply by dealing with the people one meets every day.
