Not sure if this is GQ or CS, but lately the mamboman has been inundated with e-mails from nubile young Russian girls who would very much like to meet the man of their dreams for friendship, marriage and life in a new country. I suspect naturally, there is some sort of scammery, flim-flammery and/or bunko artistry going on here, but I have been amused by the similarity of each girl’s MO in every case - no access to their own computer, absent father, much the same mangled Rocky-and-Bullwinkle grammar, “good” job usually involving a college degree and the all say they are really good cooks (and overwhelmingly blonde).
So what’s the straight dope on lonely Russian Internet gals - do they even exist, do they just roll off a dating agency production line, are lonely western men lured to gruesome deaths behind the former iron curtain, are they pawns in the game of vicious Russian mafiosi - or are they real life love stories waiting to unfold, with happy endings, sunsets, noodle salad etc?
I think the scam is that they establish an email relationship with the unsuspecting gent, then offer to come marry them and love them forever. But first they need a few grand for the plane ticket/paying off debtors/whatever.
Those are probably scams but there really are hoards of Russian and Asian brides to be ready to come to the U.S. and satisfy your desires. I don’t think you find the real ones through Spam but there are agencies that specialize in this sort of thing. You have to pay the agency thousands to get one but they are real.
One of my friends just married a very nice Russian woman a few months ago. They’ve spent a few years getting to know each other & he visited her several times & got to know her family. Everything about it seems on the up and up, and she’s a well-educated woman who wants to meet a guy who isn’t an alcoholic, has employment prospects and doesn’t look at women like livestock. She wasn’t likely to find that at home.
I imagine there are as many happy endings as scams if one uses some common sense, puts the time into it and has realistic expectations.
Those are probably scams but there really are hoards of Russian and Asian brides to be ready to come to the U.S. and satisfy your desires. I don’t think you find the real ones through Spam but there are agencies that specialize in this sort of thing. You have to pay the agency thousands to get one but they are real.
There’s a site run by an Elena Petrova (google the name plus “Russian bride”) that seemed reputable when I looked into this a couple of years ago.
It offered a lot of advice and information on the cultural side of things, and made it very clear what kind of resources, travel, etc are necessary to find an overseas bride. The resources are significant: around $20,000 and up for several trips to her homeland, accomodations for both yourself and candidate women in the city where you meet, etc.
The site ended up convincing me out of such a search; I simply didn’t have those kind of resources.
If your spam is not revealing potential downsides and difficulty as well as rewards, then it’s a scam, definitely. And it’s so easy to just fabricate identities: just take a picture from the internet, add a likely-sounding name and some random stats, and voilà! Instant bait. Elena’s site has a lot to say about the scams as well.
Me, I’m going to the Congress of the Esperanto-speaking peoples in Italy next year. Given that many Esperanto speakers are from eastern Europe, I figure I have a better chance there than on the internet, and I already have something in common with potential wives: the language!
I know a guy who went through one of those expensive agencies - met her family, got to know her, the whole nine yards. The girl was beautiful, and things seemed to go well for a few years. The only problem was that she wanted to have a baby immediately, while he wanted to wait until he was more established in his career and making more money. Finally it’s time for baby and they have a beautiful baby boy. Six months later she divorces him and takes the child - doesn’t move back to Russia but to another state where his chances to see his son are small, but he does get to pay loads of child support.
My brother is married to a woman from St. Petersburg. He met her through one of the well-known agencies on line for Russian women. They have been happily married now for four years.
I put myself up on a legit (well, as legit as it gets) internet dating site*. A Russian woman contacted me and for fun I’ve been corresponding with her. I have no doubt she’s completely genuine.
I should break it off sooner rather than later. I really don’t want to break her heart. Of course, maybe she has a dozen names on her email list.
—self serving footnote----
interested NYC female dopers in their late 20’s or 30’s are welcome to email me to ask for the link.
I understand that Russian internet dating/marriage scams are HUGE. Don’t even think about it.
This is just reference to the problem. There are lots more. I remember reading last year about a bunch of Russian gangsters who were making a FORTUNE sending out fake letters purporting to be a young female dentist from Russia. Inevitably, she needed money for plane tickets to come and visit her beloved…
Now, I ain’t no movie star. My first reaction to some Russian women gushing all over me by letter before we’d even gotten to know each other would be suspicion.
Check out the bottom link posted by engineer_comp_geek below. There are several posts in that thread by Eva Luna, who is an immigration specialist and lived in Russia for some time. Several others had some experience in this area as well.
