In this thread, Nyctea Scandiaca describes a situation where her boyfriend, father of three, has moved to Virginia and left his children with his Ex wife. It’s a complicated story but simply presented, it’s a situation where distance from his children is making it nearly impossible to have any sort of practical relationship.
My ex and I are redoing our current “Parenting Plan” at her request. There’s very little change from what is currently filed with the courts but we’re doing it anyway (long story).
The language in the proposed amended plan forbids a person to move out of state without approval of the other parent. Thinking about this, it’s occurred to me that “out of state” is too broad. Heck, just moving to the other side of Denver would be impractically far.
Right now, my ex and I switch custody of the children on a week-on/week-off basis. On Mondays we switch, using the day-care provider as the middle ground. It’s worked out pretty good so far, from a logistics point of view. This morning I dropped the kids off, she’ll pick them up.
Nyctea’s boyfriend’s situation has made me fear changes, though. Right now, it’s forbidden to change the kids’ residence outside Colorado without the other parent’s approval:
…great as far as it goes but Colorado is a big place. Right now she could move the children to Colorado Springs without my consent. That’s sufficiently far as to be out of state. Even moving the children to a southern suburb of Denver would be too far.
For example, during the summer months, the suburb of Parker might not be too far. During school months, however, it’d be impractical to drive the kids an hour south to the their school, then turn and drive 90 minutes back to the north edge to work, then reverse it all at the end of the day. The children shouldn’t have to spend hours in the car, losing access to homework time, family time, & activity time because their mother finds out it’s cheaper to live in the 'burbs (just hypothetical, mirroring Nyctea’s described situation).
On the other hand, I can’t put strong limits on what kind of job my ex can have or where she can live, either.
I need some language that will let us switch between jobs as needed but still protect the children from having to spend hours in the car every day.
Any suggestions?
Right now, I have an idea that we should add something like this:
*Neither party may establish a permanent residence that is more than 30 minute’s drive from the any minor child’s school. *
Also…
A parent who moves 50 miles from Denver (measuring from the Denver Courthouse) shall allow the renegotiation of the child custody agreement with the remaining parent having first right of refusal for primary custodianship of the children.
The goal here is to keep one parent from moving from Denver and taking the children from the other. Obviously, since I"m posting this, I think it’s more likely she’d move from Denver and try to take the children with her.
Suggestions, ideas?
Before I send anything off to her lawyer, I will run it past mine. I’m just looking for suggested language or other ideas.