My boyfriend’s ex-wife has mentioned that she may be looking to move to another city. They share a daughter so my boyfriend is now very worried. Real quick, some background:
Their divorce did not involve lawyers. She has custody but they attempted to make custody and visitation as equal as possible. He has 180 days visitation a year and has final say over educational stuff. Recently, she moved about a hour and a half away with her husband to an area both she and my boyfriend are from. Both’s extended family are from this area as well. The agreement (verbal) was that if either moved with the daughter to an area other than where we live now (SC), they could only go to NC as they have family support there. He goes to NC every weekend and spends the weekend with his daughter at his parent’s house.
Well today, his ex-wife told him she wasn’t going to live in NC forever and would be looking to move. She didn’t say where and because he saw it was about to lead into a fight, he dropped the subject after saying he would go to court if she attempted to move with their daughter. She seemed to indicate that she was frustrated at her job, but her career is very common and she would easily find something else without having to resort to moving.
So, my question, lets say she moves, where does that leave my boyfriend? Would he have any luck if he took her to court? While I think the fact that all their extended family reside in this area is a plus (assuming she moves to a place where other extended family aren’t), I don’t believe he would have much luck in court since their agreement to stay in a certain area didn’t make it into the divorce decree. I also suggested he start saving up his money because if it goes to court, it’s gonna be expensive:/.
So any Dopers out there with any experience in these matters?
He absolutely has rights. If he takes it to court she will have to prove that moving out of state would be in the best interest of the child in order to move out of state against dad’s will. In most cases I’ve heard the court deems that it’s more important to keep both parents in the child’s life than it is to get the child into a nicer neighborhood unless you are talking a drastic difference like taking the child out of the ghetto and moving them into the suburbs with white picket fences etc. The only problem that dad may have is that regardless of the arrangement that they currently have for support the court upon getting the case in the system will assign him child support payments and arrears, retroactive to the day that he moved out or to the child’s birth if they never lived together.
Before anyone bashes me about saying that child support is a negative thing. I am all in favor of caring for your children, financially and emotionally, however I feel that the American family court system is biased and flawed to the point of uselessness and it is in need immediate and severe reform.
Source: I’ve been dealing with family court on my own case for the past 5 years. Also I’ve seen all of the dealings my brother has had with the family court system and his ex.
Edit: I just reread OP… Out of state he has a say, but just to another city in the same state doesn’t matter. If they all were in CA she could go from the top of the state near Washington down to the bottom near Mexico and it wouldn’t matter.
Their divorce decree outlined that neither would pay the other child support. They split medical cost and each keep an account for her for when she gets older. I don’t see the courts going back on that or doing anything about child support unless one of them make it an issue.
From what I read, he could contest it, but I think his case is hurt by the fact that she already lives in another state technically now or he could file for custody, but she is a good mother, remarried and makes better money. He is great father, just moved in with me and makes ok money, but we don’t make near what they make. Also, the school district we live in is horrible. I send my kids to another district and am seeking alternatives since they are about to age out of the arrangement we have now:/. Nothing is happening yet, but if it’s real possibility, we need to prepare.
The court doesn’t care about arrangements. The law (here) is that if you split up and they find out they assign payments. It’s non negoitable and non waiveable. Alimony on the other hand is whatever the parties agree to on the divorce decree. Child support wise they will turn you into an instant felon, over clerical errors, arrangements between the parents, basically any varience away from their formula over $1000.00 is enough to cancel all of your state issued licenses and certifications, garnish your lottery winnings/income tax refund and in the worst case they lock you up. Prison. Prison where you lose your job yet the meter keeps running and you accrue arrears that you can’t pay because you are now unemployed so they lock you up again, ad infinitum.
Laws vary from state to state.
That being said, he should just call and get a free legal consultation. Lawyers don’t take cases that they know will lose, so if he has a shot to stop the move, any lawyer will tell him for free that there’s a case and that they will represent him.
No, they don’t have an arrangement, the child support matter is set up and part of their divorce decree. It’s processed through the court along with all their other agreements in their divorce. Unless she seeks to change that or she starts seeking benefits from the state, like food stamps or something, the courts won’t mess with that. I’ve told him to go speak with an attorney and at least have her informed of the time frame she must inform him of a move so he will have time to object. We will see though. I don’t believe SC has a certain time indicated.
Well then please pardon all of my doom and gloom. Lol I need to move out of NJ. Anyway I wish you and the bf nothing but the best and I hope you guys find the solution you are looking for.
We are trying:) I know the system doesn’t do a whole lot for Dads which is one of the main reasons why I worry. He was heart broken when they moved to NC because he wouldn’t be able to get her during the week like before. Though Dads are getting more consideration that before, it’s still not enough.
That’s what I’m telling to do. At the very least, he can provide her the documentation that states his rights in the situation so he can tell her and express his intention to fight the move or fight for custody. I don’t think he would win if it got that far, but maybe if he makes a big enough stink about it, she will back off.
My divorce agreement addressed the issue. If she wants to move with the kids out of state she needs my permission. It’s pretty standard. Also if she wants to move a certain number of miles away within the state.