Andy Dick: Dick

[Cervaise]

gets drunk, urinates in public, forcibly yanks down teenager's top to expose her breasts

So, yeah. Dick.

(Not worthy of a pit thread, IMO, and it's about a celebrity, so... Anyway, move elsewhere if desired.)

[World Eater]

His mugshot is seriously crazy looking. When did he morph into Sideshow Bob?

[MsWhatsit]

Andy Dick is a waste. Waste of oxygen, waste of time, waste of space. This doesn't surprise me a bit.

[Bosstone]

Yeah, that is an awful, awful picture. Not that Dick is good-looking on the best of days, but damn.

[Little Nemo]

A previous story about Jon Lovitz kicking his ass.

[Chimera]

Best Celebrity Truth In Naming.

Bets on how long before he's on the Sex Offender rolls?

Always love the Lovitz story. How low do you gotta be to make Lovitz kick your ass? How much of a pussy do you have to be if John Lovitz CAN kick your ass?

Definitely one for the Kerguelen Exile Policy, to be implemented when I become Supreme Overlord. (We don't have another Australia, but this will do.)

[ivylass]

I saw him in an episode of Trading Spaces with (I think) Sara Rue. He complained about everything and got his assistant to do the work, while Sara busted her ass.

[Cisco]

In other news, rumors began circulating today that the Pope is Catholic.

[want2know]

Tell you what, if he doesn't check out by the end of this year, he's right at the top of my Death Pool list for 2009!

[lobotomyboy63]

Lovitz/Dick: July 17, 2007
This: July 16, 2008

But for the leap day, it would have been exactly a year.

[DooWahDiddy]

I was in a bar in L.A. a few months ago and he came in already drunk. He was stumbling around, bumping into everyone (including me), grabbed my friend's breasts and laughed as we stood there dumbfounded. Glad to see he got what was coming to him.

[Rilchiam]

He was with David Strickland the night Strickland committed suicide. Which creeps me out a bit. Now, I'm not saying there's necessarily anything AD could have done, or that anyone can do if someone else is suicidal. But in light of everything else AD has done, it's not hard to imagine him making some callous remark like, "Not the curtain rod; it'll snap! You wanna use the chandelier!" and then skipping out in search of more blow.

[Hockey Monkey]

Originally Posted by Rilchiam

He was with David Strickland the night Strickland committed suicide. Which creeps me out a bit. Now, I'm not saying there's necessarily anything AD could have done, or that anyone can do if someone else is suicidal. But in light of everything else AD has done, it's not hard to imagine him making some callous remark like, "Not the curtain rod; it'll snap! You wanna use the chandelier!" and then skipping out in search of more blow.

Spending any length of time with Andy Dick would probably give me cause for suicide. That picture does not look like him AT ALL.

[Sampiro]

I remember wishing that soembody at the William Shatner roast on Comedy Central had had the common courtesy and "gentlemanliness" to kick his ass until he stopped moving just for the way he was harassing Nichelle Nichols. (You wanna go after a Courtney Love or a Lisa Lampenelli or even a Sarah Silverman perhaps, then fine- they're crude and media whoring [a lot more talented than Dick, but...], but Nichelle Nichols strikes me as a lady and has certainly never been crude or sexual in public and he should have had the bejesus knocked out of him).

I don't believe that his removal from Jimmy Kimmel during the Ivanka Trump incident was staged either.

[DrDeth]

He's rich and he's a celebrity and yet he has been thrown out of strip clubs.

[Chimera]

Originally Posted by DrDeth

He's rich and he's a celebrity and yet he has been thrown out of strip clubs.

Out of STUPID strip clubs that didn't have the intelligence to run up his credit cards and then kick his ass. Throw him out? *pffft* Someone in there had some roofies. Knock him out, drain his wallet, dump him in the gutter. Don't those people know how to deal with rich dicks?

[Cisco]

Originally Posted by Rilchiam

He was with David Strickland the night Strickland committed suicide. Which creeps me out a bit. Now, I'm not saying there's necessarily anything AD could have done, or that anyone can do if someone else is suicidal. But in light of everything else AD has done, it's not hard to imagine him making some callous remark like, "Not the curtain rod; it'll snap! You wanna use the chandelier!" and then skipping out in search of more blow.

He gave Phil Hartman's wife the coke she was on when she pulled her grand finale. And brags about it.

[Procrustus]

I'm so out of it not only have I never heard of him, I never heard of the show he was supposedly the star of. I'm glad he's in jail, however.

[Paul in Qatar]

Never heard of him. I check out his wiki-bio. Never seen him either.

[Shamozzle]

Donald Trump will kill both of us

[DMark]

Back when I was living in LA, the rumor mill was so full of stories about him that it got to the point that nobody even bothered listening to, or repeating the stories.

BTW, he is just as much an asshole jerk when he is sober as when he is wasted.

[Kythereia]

Originally Posted by lobotomyboy63

Lovitz/Dick: July 17, 2007
This: July 16, 2008

But for the leap day, it would have been exactly a year.

Clearly, the 'hex' rebounded...

[Shot Clock]

I've often had a misplaced tolerance for ne'er-do-wells. While I think people do need to be appropriately punished for breaking the law, I've felt that we should avoid locking people up for the crime of repeated jerkish behavior. To my thinking, such is the price we pay for liberty.

Well, Andy Dick has managed to change my whole political philosophy. This man is a goddamned menace and offers absolutely nothing positive to society at large. We, as Americans, tend to give the most creatively brilliant among us one hell of a lot of rope (example: Robert Downey) before we finally throw up our hands and say "The Hell with it! This fucker is beyond redemption!" Well, this Dick 1) has been given way more rope than anyone else I can think of, and 2) ain't even remotely creative or brilliant, much less humorous.

I would pay money to be the sentencing judge upon his convictions for assault, sexual battery, mayhem, etc. I'm thinking about 3 to 5 in San Quinten might straighten his ass out (so to speak). Alternatively, we could get an angry, torch bearing mob together to drag his punk ass down to the UPS Store and mail him to downtown Saudi Arabia.

But we all know how this is going to work out. He'll do some bullshit celebrity drive-thru rehab, pretend to be sorry for what he's done, throw some money at the 17 year old girl he accosted, and get probation. And Comedy Central will keep hiring him to ruin future tapings of Celebrity Roast.

[Little Plastic Ninja]

Originally Posted by Shot Clock

But we all know how this is going to work out. He'll do some bullshit celebrity drive-thru rehab, pretend to be sorry for what he's done, throw some money at the 17 year old girl he accosted, and get probation. And Comedy Central will keep hiring him to ruin future tapings of Celebrity Roast.

Maybe. There is such a thing as losing all your credit. Dick may find himself without any friends soon. And while my heart usually hurts for that sort of person -- heck, I even feel a little bad for Michael Jackson and don't like the idea of him dying alone -- Dick is the freakin' devil.

[Paul in Qatar]

Originally Posted by Shot Clock

IAlternatively, we could get an angry, torch bearing mob together to drag his punk ass down to the UPS Store and mail him to downtown Saudi Arabia.

OK, we surrender.

[Annie-Xmas]

Originally Posted by Paul in Saudi

Never heard of him. I check out his wiki-bio. Never seen him either.

You lucky, lucky man.

[lobotomyboy63]

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Dick#Public_incidents

On December 4, 2004, Dick was arrested for indecent exposure when he "mooned" friends at a local McDonald's. He claims that "getting arrested isn't too bad, since I'm Gay, I don't have a problem with angry men having sex".

In 2005, Dick stirred controversy in Edmonton, Alberta, at Yuk Yuk's comedy club when he dropped his pants and exposed his genitals to the audience.

On December 2, 2006, he angered an audience at the Improv Club in Los Angeles by shouting "You're all a bunch of niggers!" [referencing the Michael Richards incident...I guess he thought hilarity would ensue]

On August 29, 2007, Dick slapped a reporter in the face outside a Los Angeles nightclub

On May 15, 1999, Dick drove his car into a telephone pole in Hollywood. He was charged with possession of cocaine, marijuana, drug paraphernalia, and driving under the influence of alcohol/drugs and hit-and-run driving.

In 2006, Dick made a widely-publicized appearance at the Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner. He licked the faces of Farrah Fawcett, Carrie Fisher, and Patton Oswalt, and groped and bit the hand of New York Post reporter Mandy Stadtmiller backstage.

Um, yeah, I'd say he has problems.

[Elendil's Heir]

Sounds like Robert Downey Jr. and Mel Gibson need to stage an intervention.

[Baldwin]

I actually liked him on "News Radio"; guess it was a matter of an actor getting just the right part. Also, I knew nothing about him personally at the time (and working with really talented performers like Phil Hartman, Dave Foley and John Lovitz). Haven't seen him do anything else worthwhile.

[lobotomyboy63]

Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir

Sounds like Robert Downey Jr. and Mel Gibson need to stage an intervention.

Maybe they could also get Bobby Brown.

[Cervaise]

Originally Posted by Shot Clock

But we all know how this is going to work out. He'll do some bullshit celebrity drive-thru rehab, pretend to be sorry for what he's done, throw some money at the 17 year old girl he accosted, and get probation.

I hope you're wrong. I hope sexually assaulting a teenager gets the attention of a whole new level of official life fucker uppers.

[Cisco]

Originally Posted by lobotomyboy63

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Dick#Public_incidents

On December 4, 2004, Dick was arrested for indecent exposure when he "mooned" friends at a local McDonald's. He claims that "getting arrested isn't too bad, since I'm Gay, I don't have a problem with angry men having sex".

In 2005, Dick stirred controversy in Edmonton, Alberta, at Yuk Yuk's comedy club when he dropped his pants and exposed his genitals to the audience.

On December 2, 2006, he angered an audience at the Improv Club in Los Angeles by shouting "You're all a bunch of niggers!" [referencing the Michael Richards incident...I guess he thought hilarity would ensue]

On August 29, 2007, Dick slapped a reporter in the face outside a Los Angeles nightclub

On May 15, 1999, Dick drove his car into a telephone pole in Hollywood. He was charged with possession of cocaine, marijuana, drug paraphernalia, and driving under the influence of alcohol/drugs and hit-and-run driving.

In 2006, Dick made a widely-publicized appearance at the Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner. He licked the faces of Farrah Fawcett, Carrie Fisher, and Patton Oswalt, and groped and bit the hand of New York Post reporter Mandy Stadtmiller backstage.

Um, yeah, I'd say he has problems.

Ok, now that you put it that way, maybe he is kinda funny.

[Shoeless]

Originally Posted by Baldwin

I actually liked him on "News Radio"; guess it was a matter of an actor getting just the right part. Also, I knew nothing about him personally at the time (and working with really talented performers like Phil Hartman, Dave Foley and John Lovitz). Haven't seen him do anything else worthwhile.

My thoughts exactly. Was he as much of a dick back in those days?

[DudleyGarrett]

Originally Posted by Cisco

Ok, now that you put it that way, maybe he is kinda funny.

[Judge Smales] The man's a menace! [/Judge Smales]

[Exapno Mapcase]

Originally Posted by Procrustus

I'm so out of it not only have I never heard of him, I never heard of the show he was supposedly the star of. I'm glad he's in jail, however.

Aaarrrggghhh!

NewsRadio (one word) is simply one of the great all-time sitcoms. It's one of those few shows in where every cast member is perfect, yet totally unlike one another. They used actors from a number of different comedy traditions - sketch players like Dave Foley from Kids in the Hall and Phil Hartman from SNL, a stand-up like Joe Rogan, and the sui generis Andy Dick. Dozens of other comedy names made appearances as guests. Vicki Lewis was so good that Kathy Griffin slavishly copied her part on Suddenly Susan. Stephen Root's station owner is as magnificent a creation as Mr. Burns. Poor Khandi Alexander only had to talk sassy and look good because the writers never figured out her role, but she did both of those as fine as anyone could.

The show started out snarky and then got progressively surreal. (One season-ender had the show broadcast from space in the future.) When people today praise the quirkiness of the "one-camera" comedies like 30 Rock or Arrested Development, they forget that NewsRadio did it just as well, and in front of a studio audience.

It's true that in real life Andy Dick is a real dick. (Oddly, my freshman roommate's last name was Dick, and he was also a dick. Go figure.) But he was brilliant on the show, doing physical comedy in almost every episode that steals the scene from the great dialog.

I have to say a word about the dialog. There is a certain type of sitcom-y dialog that is clichéd and stilted and probably one of the reasons that sitcoms have been dying for a long time. NewsRadio never had that dialog. The standard set-up and punchline got twisted so that the punchlines were never predictable, but were funnier than anything you expected. That's a big point for me, since as a writer I can often see things coming because no one bothered to put the extra work necessary into improving the lines.

All five seasons are available on DVD. The show starts getting truly weird in the third season, so if you want to sample it you might start there. Phil Hartman was murdered just after the show was picked up for the fifth season and his friend Jon Lovitz took his place. Not his fault, but the show never recovered its rhythm.

Hate Andy Dick all you want. Go ahead. Please. But give NewsRadio a try. It's wonderful.

[Don't Call Me Shirley]

Originally Posted by want2know

Tell you what, if he doesn't check out by the end of this year, he's right at the top of my Death Pool list for 2009!

South Park did a joke about him, I think in about 2000, where Satan was making room for him in hell. The fact that he's lived as long as he has is miraculous.

[AlmondJoy]

Originally Posted by Little Nemo

A previous story about Jon Lovitz kicking his ass.

thank god- andy dick creeps me out!

[Paul in Qatar]

Just looking at the mug shot, if we needed a new Joker, he would need minimal makeup.

[jayjay]

Outside of Newsradio, I've only seen Andy Dick once, when he visited the Surreal Life house in the Estrada/Messner/Jeremy season and tried to escort a falling-down drunk Trishelle (from one of the Real Worlds) to her bedroom, ostensibly to make sure she got safely to bed...riiiiiight. It was possibly the creepiest ten minutes of television I've ever watched, even in a season that had Ron Jeremy sharing the house...

[jayjay]

Originally Posted by Paul in Saudi

Just looking at the mug shot, if we needed a new Joker, he would need minimal makeup.

This is exactly what supervenusfreak said, that someone should photoshop that mug shot into Joker makeup...

[Weirddave]

What I don't understand is how nobody except Lovitz has beaten the crap out of him. Apparently, he wheels around LA, stoned out of his gourd, and harasses people, especially women, like the 17 YO in the story. Hasn't he ever accosted one with a large husband or father close by? I mean, if he walked up and grabbed my wife's tits, I'd sure as hell bank his ass in a white hot second.

[Cluricaun]

Originally Posted by Exapno Mapcase

Hate Andy Dick all you want. Go ahead. Please. But give NewsRadio a try. It's wonderful.

This is also my favorite show of all time.....and it's mostly available for free on Hulu.

[Chimera]

Originally Posted by Shot Clock

But we all know how this is going to work out. He'll do some bullshit celebrity drive-thru rehab, pretend to be sorry for what he's done

Oh god, please no one suggest to this attention whore that he go on Celebrity Rehab. I'm sure he'd only last 2-3 episodes at best before he got removed or removed himself, but it would be a nightmare for everyone else involved.

[Annie-Xmas]

He did a guest shot as a hand model on "Just Shoot Me" that included these lines: Work is scarce right now. I don't know why, but since leaving San Franscico I don't seem to be getting as many hand jobs.

[3acresandatruck]

Originally Posted by Exapno Mapcase

...he was brilliant on the show, doing physical comedy in almost every episode that steals the scene from the great dialog....
Hate Andy Dick all you want. Go ahead. Please. But give NewsRadio a try. It's wonderful.

Tastes vary. Andy Dick was the reason I didn't watch NewsRadio. To me, he ruined the show. The only physical humor I ever wanted to see was the scene in which he fell down an actual elevator shaft, without a net or a stunt double.

[Beware of Doug]

Good Og, he's turned into a Martin Short character!
Short. Dick.

[bufftabby]

I like the Google ads I'm getting right now: there's about 4 Andy Dick ads...and one ad to buy meathooks. Is the devil trying to tell me to put Andy Dick on some meathooks? Or is that just the neighbor's dog?

[Annie-Xmas]

Originally Posted by Beware of Doug

Short. Dick.

Now THERE is an interesting combination of link names.

[Bryan Ekers]

Speaking of NewsRadio, this has always been one of my favourite conversations, between Beth (Vicki Lewis) and Lisa (Maura Tierney):

Beth: [Y]ou? Cute? Come on.
Lisa: I am not entirely uncute. I... I... Why are you being nasty about this?
Beth: I'm not being nasty. You're pretty. You're very pretty, in fact. But cute, I don't think so.
Lisa: Well, I wasn't aware there was a difference.
Beth: Well, of course there's a difference. Pretty means pretty. Cute means pretty but short and/or hyperactive-- like me!
Lisa: Uh-huh. What is beautiful?
Beth: Beautiful means pretty and tall.
Lisa: Gorgeous?
Beth: Pretty with great hair.
Lisa: Striking?
Beth: Pretty with a big nose.
Lisa: OK, you're making this up.
Beth: That's ridiculous, why would I make it up?
Lisa: Sexy?
Beth: Pretty and easy.
Lisa: Exotic?
Beth: Ugly.

[Elendil's Heir]

Dick Andy before he dicks you.

Bryan, that's some great dialogue. Thanks.