What's the nastiest thing you've ever accidentally done?

[bump]

What's the nastiest thing you've accidentally done?

Mine has to have been this morning... I woke up, got dressed, and wandered through the kitchen on the way to check my email. I saw a bottle of what I thought was Diet Pepsi on the counter, and thought I'd just left it out overnight. So I decided I'd take a swig, and put it back in the fridge.

I'd forgotten that I'd cleaned out the old deep-fryer oil and put it in the bottle the night before.

So I took a big gulp of old, rancid used fryer oil, complete with weird little fried up black chunks, and swallowed it before I realized it.

I didn't barf, but I came awfully close.

[Gatopescado]

I hit a dead mouse with a golf club to hit it out of the yard. It exploded all over me.

[Tamerlane]

Probably in common with more than few young males hanging out with friends that used chaw/"snuff", I once grabbed the wrong coke can and ended up with a mouthfull of someone's tobacco spit ( my stepbrother's in this case ).

*shudder*

[takehomenanny]

That's gross, man!

A couple of months ago, visiting my grandparents, I came in from working in the garden and went to the kitchen for something to drink. On the kitchen counter was a mostly empty gallon of apple cider. "Great!" thought I, "That would sure hit the spot."
Since it was almost empty, I took a big ol' swig straight from the bottle, only to find that it was apple cider VINEGAR. I swallowed it, all right, but 10 seconds later it made it's return appearance and I puked all over the counter, in the kitchen sink, and on the window sill behind it.

[Leaffan]

Am I the only one, as a teenager, who drank freely from a beer can, only to find a cigarette butt swim up and grace my lips on the last swig?

[Avarie537]

I didn't check the expiration date on the milk. Thank heavens I was in the kitchen, right next to the sink so I was able to spit it out instead of swallowing it. Blech!

[billfish678]

Hi

As a wee youngster I took a big swig of still liquid fiberglass resin....probably why my sense of taste and smell aint so hot as an adult.

As an adult...its a long story with many important details omitted here..but I drank a large quantity of my own urine mixed with gatorade.

The bad part was this.

In this location gatorade was as valuable as gold.

So was the water.

Therefore both valueables were wasted.

The mixture couldnt just be dumped.

This event cause me to throw up in my mouth. I did not either re-swallow it or spit it out, till I found a temporary container.

That too could not just be disposed of just anywhere.

So in addition to get to carry around tons of heavy gear for several days, and the more normal human excrements in storage containers, there were additional containers of a urine/gatorade mixer and a large mouthful of vomit.

The things I've suffered to ecologically responsible....

Blll

[HongKongFooey]

Watchin' TV in my easy chair, eating peanuts. Drop a peanut which falls down beside my leg. Dig around blindly, fish it out, pop it in my mouth.....yeah, not the peanut.....bleah

[Hokkaido Brit]

1) I trod in a still warm semi disembowelled baby rabbit which the bloody cat had left on the stairs. She would usually catch three and four a night in the season and only eat the heads. I still remember the guts squishing up between my toes. EWWWW! And my dad was livid with ME because I'd been so selfish to wake him up with my screams of shock. (It was the middle of the night and I was going for a pee.)

2) My mother and I had just gutted a huge catch of fish for the freezer, then I made us all a cup of tea. On the last swig, a bean-shaped bit of fish guts swam past my tonsils and back again as I spewed it out. We kept our mugs in a row on the back of the work counter, and a bit of gut must have flicked up from a knife. Yuuuuuck.

Since I have had my own house with neither cat nor sea anywhere near it, I have had no truly horrible experiences....

[Red Stilettos]

Originally Posted by Gatopescado

I hit a dead mouse with a golf club to hit it out of the yard. It exploded all over me.

Along the same lines: I found a dead rat in a horse's turnout pasture. Not wanting this particularly feisty young colt to find a new toy, I carefully picked up the rat by the tail and flung it out of the pasture. Apparently, it was longer dead than I thought, because the skin of the tail separated from the body. I was left holding rat tail skin.

[Spezza]

Originally Posted by Gatopescado

I hit a dead mouse with a golf club to hit it out of the yard. It exploded all over me.

Reading this caused my beer to explode all over me.

Gold!

[ErinPuff]

When I was eleven and my sister was a baby (~10 months) we went to the park for Fourth of July fireworks. While we were waiting, I lay down on the ground and held her above me... and she threw up in my mouth. My dad had to go all the way across the park to the concession stand to get me some water.

Every "no, she started it" fight we've ever had has come down to this incident. She insists it doesn't count because she was a baby and couldn't help it, which means that I started it because I accidentally dislocated her arm when she was two. Whatever.

[HMS Irruncible]

Originally Posted by bump

What's the nastiest thing you've accidentally done?

Mine has to have been this morning... I woke up, got dressed, and wandered through the kitchen on the way to check my email. I saw a bottle of what I thought was Diet Pepsi on the counter, and thought I'd just left it out overnight. So I decided I'd take a swig, and put it back in the fridge.

I'd forgotten that I'd cleaned out the old deep-fryer oil and put it in the bottle the night before.

So I took a big gulp of old, rancid used fryer oil, complete with weird little fried up black chunks, and swallowed it before I realized it.

I didn't barf, but I came awfully close.

I've done something like that... actually, as a child, I saw a lemon-lime Fresca can sitting on the countertop, and I thought "Hey, free lemon-lime Fresca", only to find that someone had drained that morning's bacon grease into it.

Second runner-up is something that someone else already mentioned, taking a swig of a beer with a cigarette butt in it.

Third runner-up is using smokeless tobacco. I was in the Army, a nicotine addict, and smoking was prohibited in the field but smokeless tobacco was fine. I feel all dirty when I think I used to carry around a chaw of Skoal in my lip.

It should be no surprise that after these things, I can eat natto, Marmite, all sorts of supposedly "distasteful" things with no problem at all.

[NurseCarmen]

Originally Posted by Leaffan

Am I the only one, as a teenager, who drank freely from a beer can, only to find a cigarette butt swim up and grace my lips on the last swig?

I was in my late twenties, and I had set my beer bottle down on a stage behind me at the club. Only a few seconds, and I grabbed it to take a nice big chug.

I didn't feel the cigarette butt hit my lips, I felt it going down my throat. At the exact moment I tasted it. I projectile vomited on my girlfriend's roommate. I didn't even have a chance to turn my head, it came out with such force.

[River Hippie]

Nastiest I ever did was the cigarette butt in the beer trick.

[astro]

Thought someone was kind enough to put out little bars of white chocolate in a presentation bowl and took a bite. They were teeny-tiny bars of soap.

[gallows fodder]

What I thought was a Brazil nut sitting on the counter, waiting so patiently for me to feast upon its creamy tender flesh, was actually a raw clove of garlic. (I was a kid, okay? Stuff mouth first, ask questions later.)

More recently, I returned from vacation and poured four-week-old milk over my cereal. My brother had house-sat for me in my absence and I had assumed he had replaced the milk in the meantime. The smell alone was enough to put me off dairy for a good while. Cottage cheese, GROSS.

[treis]

Originally Posted by Gatopescado

I hit a dead mouse with a golf club to hit it out of the yard. It exploded all over me.

How far do you think you can hit a dead moose with a golf club?

[HongKongFooey]

Originally Posted by treis

How far do you think you can hit a dead moose with a golf club?

psst....mouse

[Crown Prince of Irony]

When I was in high school I lived with my aunt and uncle in the SF Bay Area (San Leandro area, specifically). They had a flat gravel roof on their house as was common for houses built in the 60s, and it was always getting fresh tar on it because my uncle was too cheap to get a new roof - if there was a leak, he'd climb up there with me, and we'd patch it with fiberglass tape and emulsion tar.

One very hot summer, a few weeks after we had patched a big section, I was playing catch with one of the neighborhood kids. Ball lands on roof, I figure, no problem - I climb up the side of the chimney onto the roof to get it.

As I'm climbing down the chimney, the kid says, "Hey there's a head stuck to your foot!". "What?" "A head stuck to your foot!"

Huh? I look down, and there's a bigass f*cking rat head (and neck, and spine, and a couple legs, and some internal bits) covered in tar, and stuck fast to my brand f*cking new Chuck Taylors. A huge rat had somehow gotten on the roof, and gotten stuck in the tar, then (urp) fermented up there for a while. I swear, the damn thing looked like a gorram Chihuahua. Or rather parts of a Chihuahua.

Needless to say, I ripped my shoe off and threw it away from me (with such force, as it happened, that it landed in the back alley never to be seen again) then ran into the bathroom to puke my guts out. I almost made it. In fact, I'm feeling a bit peakish just relating the story.

[Santo Rugger]

How about the nastiest thing I -almost- did. I was hiking in the mountains, and saw what looked like a tasty mushroom. I picked it, and was going to pop it in my mouth. I thought better of it, and tossed it on the ground, instead. The nastiest green ooze/slime came out, at least a teaspoon worth. Ugh.

And I'd recount the nastiest thing I've done on purpose, but that's not what this thread is about, now, is it?

[betenoir]

What I almost did....my ex SO/current roommate has a thing for rum. And leaves glasses around of it. So I've on occasion come across one and thought "Oh how nice" and gone to take a sip...only to find....it's his piss.

Ewwwwwwwww....ick ick ick ick.

I have no idea why he wants to piss into cups when we have two very viable toilets in the house. And he doesn't have any other disgusting habits. Per se. Fortunatly I can tell the difference between rum and piss pretty quickly.


But ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by Leaffan

Am I the only one, as a teenager, who drank freely from a beer can, only to find a cigarette butt swim up and grace my lips on the last swig?

When I was a kid, we were at the beach having a big family picnic. My little sister took a sip of a Coke and got a mouthul of half-drown bees.

[GorillaMan]

Originally Posted by Leaffan

Am I the only one, as a teenager, who drank freely from a beer can, only to find a cigarette butt swim up and grace my lips on the last swig?

No.

[Tristan]

I've realted the tale before, so I'll keep it short.

I used to have long hair. Really long.

I used to work as a Nurses Aide.

Nothing I have done before or since is as gross as getting the results of a twice weekly enema on your hair. Save, of course, jerking back in horror with a yelp, and getting that same hank of hair to fly up and land right in your mouth.

I did not puke. I am not the puking type.

But it was a close thing.

[Hypno-Toad]

Never confuse a gumball and a paintball. Just sayin'.

I stepped on a slug in bare feet as a child. It was right up amongst the toes so it squished and flowed into all the little crevices.

[Dung Beetle]

Personally, nothing too bad. There was that one time Mom was making a cake and my brother and I saw a can of beautiful white frosting open and unguarded on the counter… We both stuck our fingers in and got a nice big gob. I managed to keep mine in my mouth just long enough to make sure my brother tasted his too. It was Crisco, of course.

This happened to my son: Once, I had brought in an empty cardboard box from the garage and it was sitting on the living room floor. Paul crawled into it to explore and found what he thought were Nerds (little crumblike candies). Unfortunately, they were little crumbs of rat shit. Or possibly bug shit. We still tease him to this day about the time he tasted the "mystery Nerds".

[Walpurgis]

No exploding corpses or slime, but it still makes me cringe thinking about it:

I'd worn shoes that were too tight. The nail on my right big toe turned blue. After a few days, I was walking over a high threshold and slipped. The blue toenail caught on the threshold and flipped up like a toilet seat, allll the way to the root. Man, that hurt. And was really disgusting. Especially when I had to fold it down again.

[Really Not All That Bright]

Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad

Never confuse a gumball and a paintball. Just sayin'.

Seconded. They look delicious, though, especially when you keep them in the fridge, and you're drunk...

I once drank a large mouthful of Dutchboy brand latex household paint. Yellow paint. Not really on purpose. That's how I got my original user name on here.

[Ellen Cherry]

Well, I've raised a number of children, so nasty experiences are par for the course. The only thing that comes immediately (apart from being puked upon, repeatedly) to mind is noticing, hours later, the remains of the last poopy diaper change beneath my fingernails. I try not to think about what I may have eaten in the time in the interval and any finger-licking which may or may not have occurred.

[ShelliBean]

I picked up what I thought was my beer bottle. Hmm, it was an awfully funny tasting warm beer - what the hell? Yeah, that was the bottle the two nasty guys were spitting loogeys (I have no idea of the preferred spelling) in.

I drank loogy.

I threw up a little in my mouth just remembering it, and it's been at least 15 years.

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally Posted by Walpurgis

No exploding corpses or slime, but it still makes me cringe thinking about it:

I'd worn shoes that were too tight. The nail on my right big toe turned blue. After a few days, I was walking over a high threshold and slipped. The blue toenail caught on the threshold and flipped up like a toilet seat, allll the way to the root. Man, that hurt. And was really disgusting. Especially when I had to fold it down again.

You just reminded me of this commercial - the flip-top toenail. Just looking at that picture again gave me a cold shiver.

Just this morning I sat on a hairball on the couch. I got up after a few minutes and my leg felt damp. "That's funny," I thought, "my leg shouldn't be damp." I looked at the couch, and sure enough, there's a nice, flattened hairball where I was sitting. Another gross experience was stepping in a big, fat, juicy hairball on the floor with bare feet. Little rotters.

I also made a rotten fried egg once, and ate a bit of it. If you've never tasted rotten fried egg, I don't recommend it. It put me off eggs for a long time, and next to nothing puts me off any food. I smell all my eggs before cooking them now.

[jjimm]

When we were teenagers, my next-door neighbor was screwing his girlfriend in his back yard.

She was on her period.

He flung the tampon over the fence into the driveway.

I walked out into the driveway. Not looking where I was going. In my bare feet.

Fill in the rest of the details yourself, my friends.

[Sigmagirl]

I'll tell one on my late uncle -- he and my aunt used to recycle plastic margarine tubs by preportioning ice cream into them and freezing them. When they wanted some ice cream, they'd just take a tub out of the freezer.

They came to our house for dinner, and when I was clearing the table, my uncle noticed a plastic tub he hadn't seen before. "Ice cream for dessert!" he thought, and took a big spoonful. Of course, it was margarine. We never let him forget.

[Dung Beetle]

I don't know how I could have forgotten to mention the time I stepped barefoot on a live roach, which was lying on its back with all its horrid evil legs waving in the air. Pardon me while I get busy trying to forget it again…

[Ellen Cherry]

Originally Posted by Sigmagirl

"Ice cream for dessert!" he thought, and took a big spoonful. Of course, it was margarine. We never let him forget.

Ha! This isn't terribly gross, but my grandparents used to save what was left of the morning coffee in the refrigerator and at lunch, re-heat it in a pan on the stove. My grandfather, who had failing eyesight, did this very thing one noon -- except he selected a re-used glass jar containing leftover canned beets! So, he re-heated beet juice, and poured it into his and my grandmother's cups. It was a shock, taking a sip of nice hot beet juice!

I never did hear how he managed to overlook the beets which presumably were there in the jar as well.

[Malthus]

Originally Posted by featherlou

You just reminded me of this commercial - the flip-top toenail. Just looking at that picture again gave me a cold shiver.

What is that a commercial for?

[Really Not All That Bright]

Originally Posted by Malthus

What is that a commercial for?

Toenail fungus stuff.

[Hypno-Toad]

Saving the morning coffee and reheating it later. Interesting habits folks developed in the Depression Era.

[Snarky_Kong]

I've clipped my nails and put them in an empty coke can. Then I distract myself with whatever I'm doing, get thirsty and drink my toenails. I've done this on two or three occasions.

[1stFusilier]

Hello I'm new and this is quite personal information I'm giving here but hey ho - when I was little I saw what I thought was a chocolate on the floor and I picked it up and popped in my mouth. Turns out it wasn't chocolate but hey! - not everybody is lucky enough to know what poo tastes like

[FlyingRat]

Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad

Saving the morning coffee and reheating it later. Interesting habits folks developed in the Depression Era.

My parents do this...but they actually make really good, rather mild coffee, so when they reheat it a few hours later (and I dump a metric assload of cream + sugar in, as I am wont to do) it is not bad at all.

[Dung Beetle]

Originally Posted by 1stFusilier

Hello I'm new and this is quite personal information I'm giving here but hey ho - when I was little I saw what I thought was a chocolate on the floor and I picked it up and popped in my mouth. Turns out it wasn't chocolate but hey! - not everybody is lucky enough to know what poo tastes like

Word.

Actually I'm told my dad did the same thing, back in the days when my brother and I wore saggy little diapers.

[olivesmarch4th]

The first and last time in my life that I ever got sloppy drunk. I was 21, at a party and vastly underestimated the quantity of alcohol in the fruit punch. I threw up -- copiously -- on the 2nd floor of a slatted spiral staircase. It was all over the walls downstairs. Like a veritable waterfall.

It would have been the most humiliating moment of my life if I'd have been remotely sober, but it's all a fuzzy dream. Also, and possibly more disturbing -- I wasn't even the most fucked up person there. Nobody batted an eye. I ended up crawling into the bathtub and eventually somebody drove me home. I swore off drinking for over a year, and now I won't have more than one or two. I am disgusted beyond belief that there are people who have experiences like that and then go out and do it again and again.

[ErinPuff]

Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad

I stepped on a slug in bare feet as a child. It was right up amongst the toes so it squished and flowed into all the little crevices.

One of my earliest memories is of reaching into my kiddie pool to touch what I thought was a leaf, but it turned out to be a slug. My parents tell me I spent the rest of the day washing my hands.

Edit: Oh yeah, and a kid in my fifth grade class ate a paintball on purpose (at school, in front of all of us).

[Ellen Cherry]

I'm positive it was a Depression-era habit; good call, Hypno. Currently I have a most awesome Cuisinart coffeemaker that brews it directly into a thermos, so at lunch it's as piping-hot as it was in the morning. I often think of my (now departed) grandparents when I drink from it later in the day.

However, right now I may just go quietly puke from all the wonderful grossness this thread has offered.

[dactylic hexameter]

Originally Posted by Santo Rugger

How about the nastiest thing I -almost- did. I was hiking in the mountains, and saw what looked like a tasty mushroom. I picked it, and was going to pop it in my mouth. I thought better of it, and tossed it on the ground, instead. The nastiest green ooze/slime came out, at least a teaspoon worth. Ugh.

And I'd recount the nastiest thing I've done on purpose, but that's not what this thread is about, now, is it?

C'mon Santo - You've never shot the boot? What kind of rugby player are you?!

[Mahna Mahna]

Ariel the Wonder Cat jumped up onto the bed at 3am one night with a toy and started playing rather rambunctiously with it, waking me up in the process.

In my half-asleep state, I grabbed the toy and threw it into the hallway. Ariel dashed off after it, and then scampered back into bed to play some more. So I grabbed it again to continue our little game of catch when the sleep-haze cleared just enough for my brain to process the fact that the cat's toys aren't normally limp... or squishy.. or wet... or.... hmmmm...

...so I reach onto the nightstand, turn on the light and grab my glasses to better see what it is I'm holding (though by now, even in my half-asleep state, I had a good idea of what it might be).

And discover that I'm holding a very dead and somewhat chewed on mouse. AAARGH.

It took me a while to fall back asleep that night.

[gigi]

Originally Posted by astro

Thought someone was kind enough to put out little bars of white chocolate in a presentation bowl and took a bite. They were teeny-tiny bars of soap.

I took a bite out of a hard cinnamon heart I was supposed to take home as a Christmas ornament.

[gravitycrash]

Worm inside of an apple. Yep, I bit into the worm and swallowed. I haven't eaten an apple in about eight years.