I was just eating some peanuts and one of them popped out of the shell & fell under my desk. So I leaned over & grabbed the first thing under my desk that looked like the peanut. It wasn’t.
What’s the last thing you put in your mouth that wasn’t what you thought it was?
Erm. What did you really put in your mouth?
You eat stuff that’s been on the floor?
As long as its only been there for 5 seconds…
Obligatory Simpsons reference:
$20, I wanted a peanut.
Sure, and I’m not even a woman.
Not sure, but it may (I hope) have been an old Cheeto.
Sometime after a recent snowfall last winter, my mother woke me up to help shovel the snow. I immediately went upstairs to get something to drink, as my mouth was really dry. The night before, I had left a glass of Hawaiian Punch in the 'fridge, so I just reached for that. Now, this is within minutes of my having just regained conciousness, so I wasn’t really paying attention. I took a big swig and to my immediate shock, this fluid was not Hawaiian Punch! It was thick, almost grainy, and odd tasting. Upon examination of the offending fluid (post expulsion from my mouth), I saw that it was V8 juice. ::shudder::
When I was little, I was playing with a piece of play-doh while eating a roll at the same time. At one point, I absentmindedly bit into the wad of play-doh :eek:
Homer’s Brain: $20 can buy lots of peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer’s Brain: Money can be used to purchase goods and services.
Homer: WOO HOO!
This isn’t exactly what the OP had in mind, but…
My grandmother makes chocolate candies every Christmas. They’re kind of like the type you get in Valentine’s candy boxes–a little ball of some tasty substance (peanut butter, coconut, what-have-you) covered in chocolate.
My folks brought a batch of them home one time, and they ended up sitting on the kitchen counter for a while. One day I grabbed a peanut butter candy out of the bag and bit into it. Immediately, I realized it didn’t taste quite right, so I pulled it out of my mouth…
It was a peanut butter candy, all right…but it was full of mold. :eek:
I brushed my teeth for about 15 minutes to get the taste out.
Fits the OP close enough for me! Anything you’ve put in your mouth that wasn’t what you thought it would be.
I swear to God, she looked like a woman when I met her at the bar.
You want to taste something odd? Eat an M&M when you think you’re eating a Skittle.
As soon as it hits your tongue, you know there’s something wrong, but you can’t quite place it.
Hmm, skittles don’t go bad, do they? Still thinking, you start chewing. Uh-oh…DEFINITELY something weird about this Skittle. What the hell? You spit it out into your hand in shock and disgust.
:eek: *BROWN??? How the hell old ARE these? What kind of chemical process turns…*and then you look down at the candy dish. You notice that where the little S should be on the Skittle, there is instead a little M (or W, as the case may be). You think about this for a moment, and…
:o Well, duh. M&Ms. Embarrassed but relieved, you go wash your hand and return to eat some more.
It’s quite the experience. I highly recommend it.
I love you!
How about biting down on a peanut, almond or Brazil nut only to find it’s gone bad? That intense bitterness is awful.
But you put it in your mouth anyway, so you get no sympathy from me. I mean, some things don’t end up in your mouth completely by accident. 
Couple years ago I reached for a beer around lunchtime on a hot summer day. Cold six pack in the 'fridge, grabbed the first bottle and cracked it with a bottle opener and took a hearty swig into my mouth. Just as the cold “fluid” started to pour across my tongue, my brain started saying “hey, you didn’t hear the ‘pfffst’ sound when you removed the cap from the bottle”. Damn good thing I was standing right by the sink. Twelve ice cold ounces of wretched, moldy, nasty, bitter, repulsive unforgettable lager… a good quarter of which is now in my mouth. F****** awful.
It was an hour before I could even think about beer. Even then, I reached for one that my wife preferred as opposed to my favorite brand. It was probably a month before I had another one of those.
Well, I didn’t acutally put it in my mouth since it was already there…
I was eating popcorn one day and I bit down on something that I thought was an upopped kernel. Turns out a back molar had cracked and it was actually part of my tooth!
I once had a mouthful of coffee, thinking that it was tea. Luckily we were outdoors because I immediately spat it out in the belief that there was something horrendously wrong with my cuppa.