Who is hotter, you or your partner?

[Orville mogul]

The humility expressed by a number of guys in this thread surprised me and got me thinking of a statistic I heard somewhere that 75 percent of guys think they are above average looking. (sorry, no cite for this). So along that line I got to thinking, how similar are the partners in a couple in terms of (perceived) hotness? Do 8s usually go with other 8s? Are 3s stuck with other 3s? Is a 9 with a 2 a crime against humanity?

So I thought I would offer up a little poll

1. what is your gender?
2. how do you rate your own physical attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being hottest)
3. how do you rate your partner?
4. if there is a large difference, has this ever been an issue with either of you?

I'll start:
1. Male
2. I would say that I am a 6
3. my wife is a 7
4. not much difference, though I am pleased to think that I am punching above my weight

(yes, I know some people will be reluctant to publically post that their partner is low on the scale, but let's see)

[MeanOldLady]

I'm hot, my husband isn't. I married him because he's rich and has a large penis. Sue me - I can afford it.

[pravnik]

Honey, I asked you not to discuss my huge penis in front of the others.

[Hockey Monkey]

Both of us together barely appoach lukewarm.

[ZipperJJ]

LOL I love your username/post combo MeanOldLady.

This is kind of hard because when I'm with someone I find them to be a 10 on the hotness scale, in my mind at least. I'll try to be objective, tho.

1. what is your gender?
Female

2. how do you rate your own physical attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being hottest)
3

3. how do you rate your partner?
6 or 7

4. if there is a large difference, has this ever been an issue with either of you?
It's a new relationship, but I've noted the difference from the beginning. I used to be terrified of dating guys who were better looking and/or smaller than me (I'm a pretty big girl). But so far it's been great because he's really into me (and vice versa) and makes me feel great. My looks not being important to him have made them less important to me.

[Antinor01]

I'm male and would give myself a 7. My partner, also male probably an 8-9. He has the advantage of being 6 years younger and looks about 17.

[tdn]

Male, maybe a 6. 7 on a good day. 11 on a fantastic day.

Most of my past partners rated around a 5 or 6. My last partner was a good 7 or 8. I had a drink with her last night and I swear she shot up to a 9.

[MeanOldLady]

Originally Posted by pravnik

Honey, I asked you not to discuss my huge penis in front of the others.

Well it's pretty obvious I'm not with you for your looks.

[Asimovian]

1. What is your gender?
Male

2. How do you rate your own physical attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being hottest)
2 or 3

3. How do you rate your partner?
6 or 7, although I agree with ZipperJJ about *personal* views of my wife's attractiveness. Hard to be unbiased about such things.

4. If there is a large difference, has this ever been an issue with either of you?She doesn't seem to mind, which is strange to me, but after a while, you learn to not knock it.

[mnemosyne]

1. What is your gender?
Female

2. How do you rate your own physical attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being hottest)
4 or 5 - I have some nice features, but overall I'm rather plain

3. How do you rate your partner?
Trying to be objective, I'd say he's a 6 or so. He definitely seems to attract more attention than I do!

4. If there is a large difference, has this ever been an issue with either of you?
I don't think the difference is that large, and we are generally seen as being a good match by our friends and familly. In over 9 years together, I don't think our relative attractiveness has ever come up other than in joking, and even then, it's just acting silly and not actually talking about it!

[pravnik]

Originally Posted by MeanOldLady

Well it's pretty obvious I'm not with you for your looks.

Touché, dear, touché.

[Kalhoun]

1. what is your gender? Female
2. how do you rate your own physical attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being hottest) 7 apple
3. how do you rate your partner? 7 orange
4. if there is a large difference, has this ever been an issue with either of you?
N/A

[corkboard]

1. what is your gender?
Male
2. how do you rate your own physical attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being hottest)
I think my body's about an 8 (steady attendance at the gym for about a year); face is about a 5
3. how do you rate your partner?
Her body's a 7, face is a 9.5
4. if there is a large difference, has this ever been an issue with either of you?
The large difference in our faces is something I think about a lot- it's one of the reasons I work on my body so much, so I can approach her overall attractiveness. When we dress up to go out, she's a knockout and I'm the guy feeling lucky to be with her. At the beach, I can hold my own.

[filling_pages]

1. male
2. 3 or 4. I'm a short, fat guy in my early 30s. I have good eyes and "a cute smile", but I'm no one's idea of a looker.
3. 8 or 9. She's an artist and makes me laugh, too, so I have no complaints all around.
4. It's never been an issue between us, but we get the odd stares out in public. Strangers have literally asked me, "You're with her?" as if we're playing some sort of joke on them. We look like we just walked out of a fat guy/hot wife sitcom.

[MissIntent]

I have a hard time with this rating thing. I'm a 25yr old female, boyfriend frequently compliments my body, tells me I'm gorgeous and describes in detail particular parts of my body that he's crazy about.

Boyfriend is 26 and he is the hottest guy I know, according to me.

Rating is hard because I can very easily see where others wouldn't be interested in either of us, because we don't exactly line up with the touted ideals. But according to each other we're both nearing 10's I guess, no matter what we personally think of our own looks.

Just realized that might sound full of myself. I think I'm pretty average looking, just trying to make the point that in his eyes I blossom.

[Coldfire]

I'm a bit like filling_pages.

I'm male. I'd rate my own looks at about a 6, perhaps. I have no issues really, just could stand to lose a bit of weight. But even in my slimmer days, I never attracted girls on looks alone.

My wife - well. For those who know her (and some people here do), they'll agree that she's a 9 or a 10 or so. Hard to be objective, she's a 10 to me, but let's just objectively make that a 9 or so.

It's not an issue for me: I think it's awesome. And she likes me for my sense of humour or something.

[Anne Neville]

Mr. Neville is hotter than me, because he has a Ph.D. in astronomy and I don't, plus I'm pretty sure he's smarter than me.

[Malacandra]

Me. And I'm a 6, tops. Sad, isn't it?

[gwendee]

He is...especially with his fresh summer haircut. Rrowr!

The truth is that right now, speaking as objectively as I can, we'd both come in at around a 5. Neither of us is taking the best care these days. Poor nutrition sporadic sleep...

I think if I were to get into great physical shape I could advance to a solid 7. We're probably about even in terms of appearance, but he is far more confident and therefore (I think) more attractive to strangers.

I'm female. The only way it's been an issue is that I go through bouts of "you could be with anyone you wanted why on earth are you with me???" It's all in my head...and I know it, but sometimes it still gets to me.

[Sunspace]

Memo to filling_pages and Coldfire: how did you do that?

[Coldfire]

Honestly? I dunno. First time I laid eyes on her, I thought, "I want some of that!". Two seconds later, followed by, "Who the fuck do you think you're kidding, she's way out of your league".

Fast forward a few hours, turns out I was wrong about the latter. And I really don't know why. But, it's worked for nigh 8 years now, married for 5+, and she moved halfway 'cross the globe for me. I've stopped wondering why, and started to just enjoy it.

[Sticks and Scones]

There are those who look at our relationship and wonder why my boyfriend would be interested in someone who is clearly not as 'hot' as he is. (For the duration of our relationship I have been significantly overweight.) And while we both agree that I would feel better if I weighed less*, I find in our case that my weight is beside the point of what makes us work so well together.

*I have lost some and am over 25% of the way towards my overall goal.

[EmAnJ]

This is hard to answer, because my fiancé's personality makes him so much hotter to me.

Me: Female, 28

I guess I'd say I'm a 7.5.

He's a 7, strictly in looks.

Not a huge difference I suppose. We've never had any problems, though his friends often bug him - "how'd such an ugly guy get a hot chick" type stuff.

And I'm surprised no one is asking for pictures! Here's ours.

[salinqmind]

1. Female
2. For middle age, averages out to a 6
3. Partner - 5 (gave one point for having all his hair, deduct one point for overweight)
4. After jockeying for position in the 'looks' department somewhat when we were younger, we've made peace with what we are now! (Though I'm still ahead!)

[Moirai]

1. Female, age 41 and I doubt I have ever looked better (except for the boobs getting a bit out of shape)

2. I am a solid 8, maybe 9 (or so I am told)

3. He is a 6 or 7

4. Nah, no big deal

[EmAnJ]

Damn it you people, I want to see pictures!

[voguevixen]

I think we're equally homely; but he's more book smart mathwise, I'm more practical/streetsmart and wordwise. We're very Yin/Yang.

[Rigamarole]

You tell me, but I'm gonna go ahead and say her.

[Renee]

We're both pretty cute, I think. The actual rating would depend on who you ask, no doubt. I always find threads about physical atractiveness fascinating--who people think are good looking often clash with my perceptions, which is awesome: someone for everyone.

He looks hotter with a beard, but is in the military which limits that. This is a pretty good photo of us together.

[Jennyrosity]

Funnily enough, we were just talking about this the other day. We agreed that on an usual, average day, we're both about a 7. On our good days, if we really make an effort, we can push that up to an 8. On slobby, lazing-round-the-house, not-going-to-see-anyone-but-each-other days, we're more like 5 - 6s - not winning any beauty contests, but not going to make anyone recoil in horror either.

Photo - admittedly one taken on a day when we could both be said to have made more of an effort...

[devilsknew]

1. Male
2. I would say that I am a 6.5 to a 7 from a physical attractiveness standpoint...simply looks. Full package physically, maybe a 4 or 5. Totally straddling average. My Other is a 9.5, however.
3. my girlfriends and fiances have been all over the spectrum. Playboy bunny measurements to plus sizes, models to wall flowers. ... all erotic, and never judged convenionally.
4. I have had women that I by no means deserve.

[VunderBob]

She is. Runs the air conditioner all the damned time, too.

[Orville mogul]

some interesting responses here. I note that there is a pretty strong tendency for a person to rate their partner hotter than themself.

This could be due to the bias I mentioned in the OP, but it occurred to me that many people may naturally think their partner is more attractive than they themselves are. Perhaps that even plays a role in the success of the relationship -- both parties think they are getting the better deal.

So it would be interesting to hear from some Doper couples to see if each partner's rating agrees with the other.

[Clothahump]

Originally Posted by Endemic

The humility expressed by a number of guys in this thread surprised me and got me thinking of a statistic I heard somewhere that 75 percent of guys think they are above average looking. (sorry, no cite for this). So along that line I got to thinking, how similar are the partners in a couple in terms of (perceived) hotness? Do 8s usually go with other 8s? Are 3s stuck with other 3s? Is a 9 with a 2 a crime against humanity?

So I thought I would offer up a little poll

1. what is your gender?
2. how do you rate your own physical attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being hottest)
3. how do you rate your partner?
4. if there is a large difference, has this ever been an issue with either of you?

1. Male
2. I'll go a 5. My days of being a boytoy for the ladies are long gone.
3. SWMBO is an 8 on her off days, and when she dolls herself up, she's 9+.
4. Nope. I definitely got the better deal on our partnership!

[tdn]

Originally Posted by EmAnJ

Damn it you people, I want to see pictures!

Fine. Whatever.

We broke up three weeks ago. We met the other night for a drink and the feelings are still there.

*sigh* Maybe I should just give in and marry her. After all, happiness isn't everything.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Renee

He looks hotter with a beard, but is in the military which limits that. This is a pretty good photo of us together.

He looks like a dork. You should leave him immediately.

And then you need to send me your phone number. And a list of your ticklish spots.

[Ellen Cherry]

I think my husband is HANDSOME with a capital H, but this sort of thread is sorta amusing, since he and I are both on the backhill slope of attractiveness, age-wise. He's 57 and I'm 46, so you know we're not particularly hottie material. Here's us about six years ago, right before we got married, c. 2003 I don't appear to have anything more current of the both of us!

Now, he's a little grayer and I've put on a few pounds. I'd say simply on aesthetics, though, he's better looking. If you take a look at genetics, his parents were both extremely good looking when they were young; his mother in fact was the homecoming queen of her school in 1947-ish. My side: average joes and janes!

Hm, here's one of me by myself (at work) and another of him at work. Eh.

[Dung Beetle]

Female.
I’m going to generously award myself a 6.5.
Husband I’m not so sure about. When I first met him, I actually didn’t think he was attractive at all, but over time his looks have grown on me. I know a lot of other women find him attractive as well, but I’m not sure how much can be chalked up to intelligence or charisma. He’s got me way outranked in that department.

Us dressed up: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7428938@N08/1041314111/

Us not dressed up: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7428938@N08/3025431934/

[Really Not All That Bright]

1. what is your gender?
Male

2. how do you rate your own physical attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being hottest)
Over time, 7.5. Right now, 5. I've kinda picked up this beer belly thing and I'm not sure what county agency I need to call to get them to come and take it away.

3. how do you rate your partner?
8

4. if there is a large difference, has this ever been an issue with either of you?
No- both of us think we're fighting above our weight classes, which is pretty awesome I guess.

[shiftless]

1. what is your gender?
Male

2. how do you rate your own physical attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being hottest)
Maybe a 6 when I was young, a 4 now? I never had a huge problem getting dates but I rarely got hit on either.

3. how do you rate your partner?
9.8 when very young (I've seen pictures), 9.3 when we marrried, 7.6 on the absolute scale, now that we are old. Still a 9.8 "for her age". She could be a cougar if she wanted.

4. if there is a large difference, has this ever been an issue with either of you?
Not really. It is obvious that her ex still has a thing for her 25 years later. Once her boss wanted her to drop everything and move to the islands with him ... Would have been a problem if she had considered it. Every now and then a friend feels the need to tell me my wife is hot ... that's sort of uncomfortable in a cool sort of way.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Dung Beetle

I’m going to generously award myself a 6.5

You forgot to say "With a margin of error of 3.5."

[Dung Beetle]

tdn, you are making it very difficult for me to ignore post #35! I can think of no appropriate responses.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Dung Beetle

tdn, you are making it very difficult for me to ignore post #35! I can think of no appropriate responses.

Oh, I can think of a few. Several involve fur-lined handcuffs.

[Telperien]

1. Female

2. About a 5. I weigh far more, and make far less of a dolling-up effort, than is permissible for a female person to be considered hot, but I'm not so hideous that people run in fear from my appearance.

3. He's a 6 to 7. He's quite cute in a sort of teddy bear way.

4. We're fairly well matched so there haven't been any problems. In the past, I dated one guy who was far more attractive than I--the kind of person who honestly gets asked, "Why the hell are you with her?" It bothered me a lot; it might have bothered me less if he didn't feel the need to keep telling me when people asked him this.

[EmAnJ]

Originally Posted by Dung Beetle

Female.
I’m going to generously award myself a 6.5.
Husband I’m not so sure about. When I first met him, I actually didn’t think he was attractive at all, but over time his looks have grown on me. I know a lot of other women find him attractive as well, but I’m not sure how much can be chalked up to intelligence or charisma. He’s got me way outranked in that department.

Us dressed up: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7428938@N08/1041314111/

Us not dressed up: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7428938@N08/3025431934/

I would put you higher then a 6.5! 7.5 or so is more like it!

(Straight female here, btw)

[An Arky]

Well, if we were competing on Miss America criteria, I'd probably win the Talent part , but she'd win the Swimsuit and Evening wear parts in a landslide. Personal Interview and Onstage Question would be a toss-up.

But to answer the OP:

1. Male
2. Somewhere in the middle
3. I rate her 9, and so would the rest of the world, if they saw her naked
4. As long as it's not an issue for her, I'm loving it!

[Heckity]

1.Female
2. In my younger days 9 (I modeled a lot - so I rely on other opinions) Aging isn't for sissies. Today I'd probably be a 7 or 8 (for my age).
3. My husband is handsome to me but I think he'd say he's a 3 or so. (Funny aside - on "Rate my Professor" his students gave him a 0 for hotness- he was crushed) His face is open and honest and he's charming and funny and that shows.
4. I've only heard someone ask "How'd you get her?" once - otherwise we are who we are I guess.

[filling_pages]

Her. Me. Her and me at our joint birthday party last year, a little tipsy.

How did I do it? I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm a bit of an artist. When I asked her out and she said she had to think about it (we'd been friends for a while), I didn't press or stress her, and I meant it when I said it was quite okay if she wanted to just stay buddies. In other words: self-confidence goes a long way.

[Saintly Loser]

Male.

I have no idea how to rate myself. A 5, at best, although there does seem to be a subset of women who find my ridiculously skinny, bony self attractive.

My partner is definitely an 8 when she gets herself all dressed and made up. And a 9 when she doesn't (yes, you read that right).

No issues.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Saintly Loser

My partner is definitely an 8 when she gets herself all dressed and made up. And a 9 when she doesn't (yes, you read that right).

Are you saying she looks even better when she's not dressed at all?