Is sex with an attractive person any different from sex with a not so attractive person?

Apart from psychological factors?

I understand that someone who is obese or doesn’t keep good hygiene would be a turn off for most people. Sexual pleasure is determined by things like orientation of the individual, smell of their partner…but attractiveness?

I don’t believe that attractive people have more nerve endings than the average or below average person or that they’re better in sex. But from an evolutionary point of view it signifies that they have good genes. So having sex with a hot person means that you children will most likely be healthy. And biology says sexual pleasure is a way to get us to reproduce.

What do you think? Is it just the perception that sex with a hot person is better or is there some logic to it?

Paper or plastic?

Makes a difference.

Perception is reality in most cases.

What kind of low-self-esteem would it take to have sex with someone you are not attracted to?

IMHO, yes, it’s better. But also worse. I get more turned on when I’m with a hot girl.* So I enjoy the sex more, although that also leads to complications. For example, I reach orgasm more quickly, which is not always a good thing and sometimes means I have to work not to finish.

*I’ve only had sex with one woman for the past 12 years, so my frame of reference is a bit dated. But she’s hot anyway.

Its not low self esteem driving that particular bus.

Yes, it’s better, to a point. I mean, you’re going to be waaaaaaay more excited about boning Sophia Vergara/Hugh Jackman than you are Rhea Perlman/Steve Buscemi. That’s just the way it is. However, sometimes you’ll run into “Well, I’m hot, so I don’t have to put any effort into this.” which is a total buzzkill. (I mean, I’m no Wilt Chamberlain but that’s been my experience.)

Depends on what you mean by “attractive” but usually, yes.

Sexy people move sexier. They function better at sex, like a football player functions better at football than a non-football player. There are people who look sexy in pictures but not in real life, because their bodies don’t move the right way. But usually, people we think are sexy look that way to us because they can move and position themselves in ways that reveal how they’ll act in bed.

There’s also the fact that the biggest and most important sexual organ is the brain, and if you aren’t attracted to the other person, the sex will be bad. There’s other things besides body shape to be attracted to, but you can’t find the other person unattractive and expect the sex to be good. It will just be a chore.

If a person is within the range I find attractive, then other variables count more for “better sex.”

Enthusiasm, for example, will make sex better than looking a little hotter.

From the female perspective, I wonder if I might have the opposite problem of RNATB: that I might have difficulty orgasming with a really gorgeous guy, if only because I might be self conscious and not be able to relax.

I have been with two guys in my life whom I would consider drop dead gorgeous and both of them were diametrically opposite: one of them def. had the “I’m hot so clearly just thrusting is more than enough” and the other was…an amazing lover. Just amazing…!

I’ve also been with only one guy for the past 20 (!) years, and while he’s not a Daniel Craig or a Jude Law, I think he’s pretty hot, too. But we know each other well and I find for me being comfortable with him is way more important than his hotness.

Ceterus paribus, yes it is better with a more attractive partner. But in my experience attractiveness definitely is not among the most important factors… and somehow the “size” of the effect is usually less than you would expect beforehand.

So all other things being equal, it is better… but not by that much (or as much as you’d think);).

I think it must be pretty rare for a person to have enough sexual experience to answer the question meaningfully.

How many people have slept with, say, a dozen 9s and a dozen 5s? It’s rare to have more than a couple dozen partners, and rarer still to have such a significant divergence in their attractiveness. And then you’ve got to wonder…since people with the experience to answer are already quite atypical in their sexual behavior whether they wouldn’t also be atypical in their assessment of sexual satisfaction.

Like Anaamika, my anecdotal experience points in different directions, which is unsurprising because there’s just too many variables.

I’ve heard the opposite. Attractive people take sex for granted while uglier people try harder in bed.

I don’t consider myself to be particularly attractive, but at times, when I’ve aimed a little low in physical appearance, the biggest issue was that the women were particularly self-conscious. I’m guessing it was weight and body issues. From my perspective, nothing ruins sex more then being too self-conscious. At some point there is nothing left to hide so you need to just let go.

Its 99% inspiration.

If that person inspires you, yes it works. If they don’t, then that’s that. Yes, there’s the 1% (and all the little extra-credit stuff that you can do too) but that’s really what it comes down to: are you or aren’t you inspired?

As for third parties, they aren’t there. Who honestly cares What they think!?

*This also assumes no cock-blocking or negative/positive PR campaigns. Those people are assholes anyway so why give them print space?

Remember the old saying: Think of the most beautiful woman in the world and there’s some guy that’s tired of fucking her.

Well, since you asked…


…not me.

My boy, they’re all th’ same when you turn 'em upside down.

Thank god. I’ve been waiting YEARS for an opportunity to use that line.

Carole Lombard confided to her friends that Clark Gable was lousy in the sack. Done in three minutes, then rolled over and started to snore. He probably figured “why bother putting in any effort? I’d never be able to screw all the women who’d line up for it.”

I got divorced in 2014 after a very long marriage and ended up back on the market. I didn’t start dating until early 2015, so my experience in the sack has been just a few partners. Two items:

  1. There was one particularly attractive lady I dated for a while. 8 years younger than me, really charming, great dresser, great figure, killer smile and eyes. And in the hay it was… just okay. There wasn’t a lot of passion, and she didn’t drive me crazy like I would have expected. It was just sex. Also she was a fairly marginal (ok poor) kisser. I wonder if she was attractive enough that she just never learned to be hot, if that makes any sense.

  2. There was another woman who was attractive enough, though a bit unconventional and a little overweight. Nice face, big ass :slight_smile: And she was just the hottest person to be around. Even if we just made out for a while, I felt like I was floating around the room both during and after. Great kisser, great makeouts, and eventually sex that was so good it was unreal.

I don’t know what my point is here, but I perhaps hotness and sexiness is only loosely coupled to abstract attractiveness.

When you’re in mid-coitus you can’t see much. Depending on your position of preference you may get to see the other person’s face, which counts for a lot. If you’re emotionally involved you’re going to be reading more of the emotional content being expressed on the other person’s face and paying proportionally less attention to facial symmetry and complexion and other components of beauty.

I find somewhere between 80% and 90% of the female people betwixt the ages of 16 and 90 to be enticingly delicious. I think that makes me something akin to a slut or something, but I’m not ashamed of it.
My “Won’t Go There” List* breaks down categorically roughly as follows:

People I won’t hook up with because we don’t communicate / martians to each other: 60%

People I won’t hook up with because the erotic behavioral chemistry doesn’t work: 30%

People I won’t hook up with because they don’t look hot enough: 10%

*This fails to include “Don’t Get the Opportunity To Go There”. That would be a different list, and I’m not privy to the categories involved there.