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  #1  
Old 08-29-2009, 12:38 AM
Wile E Wile E is offline
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The Extreme Nipple Pinch - Ain't That a Kick in the Balls?

I know the anatomical references are a little messed up but the pain of an extreme full body nipple pinching has to at least come close to a kick in the junk.

How does one do the Extreme or Full Body Nipple Pinching, you ask? Wait, why would you ask that are you some sadomasochistic? Oh well, since you asked, the extreme nipple pinch is achieved in the following manner:
1. Lay facing your partner, each of you on your side.
2. Partner decides to hoist himself up on his elbow to lean over you for a kiss.
3. Partner's elbow ends up on your nipple.
4. Full weight of partner's upper body presses down on said nipple.
5. It takes several seconds of your screaming before partner realizes why you're screaming.
6. Partner realizes he ain't getting any after that, especially after he tries briskly rubbing it to make it feel better.

I'm sure the guys will tell me that it can't be near as painful as a kick in the balls but 14 hours later and this puppy still hurts. It's not quite bruised but it looks a little puffy.



and no, there will be no photographic cites provided.
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  #2  
Old 08-29-2009, 03:39 AM
EvilTOJ EvilTOJ is offline
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Yep, that nipple pinch does sound painful. No, there's no comparable pain a kick in the balls. Not even close. Closest type of pain to getting kicked in the store is punching yourself in the eyeball and that's still mild by comparison.
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  #3  
Old 08-29-2009, 09:39 AM
Wile E Wile E is offline
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But how long does the nut pain last? Would you object to your partner massaging it for you?
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  #4  
Old 08-29-2009, 12:29 PM
johnpost johnpost is online now
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sorry about your injury. you should have iced it immediately which is good for many bruising injuries during sports. it is bad to cause an accidental injury when your intent is to cause sensations on the other end of the spectrum, it is bad to both parties (and not just because he didn't get any).

nut pain can last a minute or two maybe a few more for a mild impact. you can't scream because you can't breathe. massaging it would do no good but nobody can get to them while you are doubled over.
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  #5  
Old 08-29-2009, 12:32 PM
Mosier Mosier is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wile E View Post
But how long does the nut pain last? Would you object to your partner massaging it for you?
You'll feel sick for days in the event of an extreme nut kick. You would certainly object to anyone coming within 9 feet of your sack until the sick feeling goes away.

Is there enough difference between male and female nipples that we can't just compare nipple pinches to nipple pinches?
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  #6  
Old 08-29-2009, 12:43 PM
G0sp3l G0sp3l is offline
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Strong men have vomited and fallen into a fetal position crying after a nad shot. Massaging it is the wrong thing do and difficult at any rate. They've probably retreated to your stomach so as to not be abused again.

Your partner should have poured chocolate sauce on the injury then gently but firmly. Oh so firmly licked it off.

Last edited by G0sp3l; 08-29-2009 at 12:44 PM..
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  #7  
Old 08-29-2009, 01:13 PM
Boyo Jim Boyo Jim is offline
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Not really a pinch, is it? More of a crush, or crunch.
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  #8  
Old 08-29-2009, 02:23 PM
DMark DMark is offline
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Originally Posted by Boyo Jim View Post
Not really a pinch, is it? More of a crush, or crunch.
Perhaps there is a federally funded agency you can contact to reimburse you for your pain - Cash For Crunchers?
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  #9  
Old 08-29-2009, 03:35 PM
Ruby Ruby is offline
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There's something very wrong with the image of a crunchy nipple.
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  #10  
Old 08-29-2009, 03:56 PM
Wile E Wile E is offline
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Originally Posted by Mosier View Post
You'll feel sick for days in the event of an extreme nut kick. You would certainly object to anyone coming within 9 feet of your sack until the sick feeling goes away.

Is there enough difference between male and female nipples that we can't just compare nipple pinches to nipple pinches?
Well, in order for someone to lean on a guy's nipple in that manner they'd have to have man boobs.
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  #11  
Old 08-30-2009, 05:32 AM
BigT BigT is offline
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Originally Posted by Mosier View Post
You'll feel sick for days in the event of an extreme nut kick. You would certainly object to anyone coming within 9 feet of your sack until the sick feeling goes away.

Is there enough difference between male and female nipples that we can't just compare nipple pinches to nipple pinches?
Well, I've never seen a guy's become erect when aroused.
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  #12  
Old 08-30-2009, 07:41 AM
Patty O'Furniture Patty O'Furniture is offline
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Then you're not doing it right.
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  #13  
Old 08-30-2009, 08:06 AM
billfish678 billfish678 is offline
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Originally Posted by Wile E View Post
and no, there will be no photographic cites provided.
I aint no doctor, but that puppy looks swollen to me
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  #14  
Old 08-30-2009, 12:43 PM
Mosier Mosier is offline
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Well, I've never seen a guy's become erect when aroused.
How many guys have you slept with?
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  #15  
Old 08-30-2009, 12:53 PM
Boyo Jim Boyo Jim is offline
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Allow me to introduce you to the concept of "rebound tenderness". Swear to God this is real, though I don't know if it will work on a nipple -- you'll see why.

Rebound tenderness is why stubbing your toe or finger hurts so much. It's not actually the impact that causes most of the pain. The initial impact squeezes the blood out of the tissue in the impact zone, and most of the pain comes in the next few seconds as the pressure comes off and the blood rushes back into the tissue. If you can slow down that flow, you can eliminate most of the pain.

In practice this means that what you should do when you stub your toe is immediately press it very firmly back against the wall or door or whatever, and then very slowly ease off the pressure. It really really works.

But with a toe or finger, you're generally crushing a very small amount of tissue between an external object and a bone just beneath the surface. With a breast.... well, how far do you have to press in to hit bone? Maybe there's too much tissue to deal with?
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  #16  
Old 08-30-2009, 01:16 PM
DMark DMark is offline
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Well, I've never seen a guy's become erect when aroused.
Wow - I think it is safe to say 99% of all Gay men will disagree. I recall reading an article in (Playboy?)where one of the unanswered questions was "why do men have nipples?"
Amazing to think so many hetero guys go through their whole life not experiencing one of the major erotic, erogenous hot spots. Granted, not in the manner Wile E experienced it, but trust me, nobody has to ask most Gay men why they have nipples.
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Old 08-30-2009, 04:15 PM
Ruby Ruby is offline
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Well, I've never seen a guy's become erect when aroused.
I have on more than one occasion.
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  #18  
Old 08-31-2009, 08:42 AM
corkboard corkboard is offline
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There's no comparison between a nipple pinch and a kick in the balls. For instance, many people willingly pierce their nipples. I reckon there aren't many guys that have driven a steel shank through their testicle (through their scrotum, sure, but that's just skin. I'm talking the actual nut here).

Oh- and my nipples become erect when my wife sucks on them.
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  #19  
Old 08-31-2009, 10:45 AM
Wile E Wile E is offline
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The thing that ticked me off about it was he decides to help by rubbing it quite briskly between his fingers then seemed annoyed when I pointed out it still hurt. Had I knelt on his nuts I doubt he want me to rub them for him. It seemed like because it wasn't a kick in the nuts to him it couldn't possibly hurt that much. Women have sensitve areas too, just because we don't have nutsacks doesn't mean we haven't experienced pain. I won't even mention cramps and childbirth, well except for that mention. ; p
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  #20  
Old 08-31-2009, 10:54 AM
kunilou kunilou is offline
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Let's try this. Compare the pain of a nipple pinch to the pain of getting a finger caught in a car door or some other type of pinch like that. Both men and women will agree that slamming a door on your finger is pretty extreme, pain-wise.

Now ask a man to compare slamming a car door on his finger to getting a really hard shot in the stones. I may be going out on a limb here, but I think most men who've suffered a really hard shot to the groin will agree that few things short of amputation without anesthesia can compare, particularly when the wave of pain radiates through the entire body.

It's like trying to compare labor pains with stomach cramps.
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  #21  
Old 08-31-2009, 10:54 AM
Freudian Slit Freudian Slit is online now
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Doesn't sound that painful to (female) me. Mine only really get hurt if you try hard. You have to squeeze pretty damned hard to hurt mine. They're so insensitive. But also surprisingly big I've been told.
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  #22  
Old 08-31-2009, 11:31 AM
lieu lieu is offline
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When you're a little feller, it reportedly takes from a couple of months to a year for your nuts to drop. As a guy, one well aware of how sensitive the testes can be, my question is "Hey, why the rush?"
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  #23  
Old 08-31-2009, 01:44 PM
G0sp3l G0sp3l is offline
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Originally Posted by lieu View Post
When you're a little feller, it reportedly takes from a couple of months to a year for your nuts to drop. As a guy, one well aware of how sensitive the testes can be, my question is "Hey, why the rush?"
Seconded. I would say this is an evolutionary failure, EXCEPT the neander/mags who took a nad-shot never procreated again
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  #24  
Old 09-01-2009, 12:37 AM
Noel Prosequi Noel Prosequi is offline
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One of the more cruel aspects of the nad shot is that it is hilarious. Seeing a man go down like a gut-shot polar bear and writhe in vomitous agony is hysterically funny - witness all the home video shows devoted to the concept.

Since we have all been trained to laugh when it happens, there is a tendency to laugh even when it happens to you. You're in howling agony, yet at some level still ecognising that to anyone watching, this is hysterical. So you find yourself laughing and in spectacular pain all at the same time.

This is just mean of Og.
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  #25  
Old 09-01-2009, 12:58 AM
tr0psn4j tr0psn4j is offline
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Originally Posted by kunilou View Post
Let's try this. Compare the pain of a nipple pinch to the pain of getting a finger caught in a car door or some other type of pinch like that. Both men and women will agree that slamming a door on your finger is pretty extreme, pain-wise.

Now ask a man to compare slamming a car door on his finger to getting a really hard shot in the stones. I may be going out on a limb here, but I think most men who've suffered a really hard shot to the groin will agree that few things short of amputation without anesthesia can compare, particularly when the wave of pain radiates through the entire body.

It's like trying to compare labor pains with stomach cramps.
I had a Game Boy swung into my balls once. You can feel it all throughout your body. You get nauseous too. But the worst part might be the pain you feel in your stomach. I rather have my ear gnawed off.
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  #26  
Old 09-01-2009, 10:55 AM
Mama Zappa Mama Zappa is offline
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do you know how haerd it is to9 type w bith arms cro9dded over yur cest?
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  #27  
Old 09-01-2009, 11:02 AM
Wile E Wile E is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kunilou View Post
Let's try this. Compare the pain of a nipple pinch to the pain of getting a finger caught in a car door or some other type of pinch like that. Both men and women will agree that slamming a door on your finger is pretty extreme, pain-wise.

Now ask a man to compare slamming a car door on his finger to getting a really hard shot in the stones. I may be going out on a limb here, but I think most men who've suffered a really hard shot to the groin will agree that few things short of amputation without anesthesia can compare, particularly when the wave of pain radiates through the entire body.

It's like trying to compare labor pains with stomach cramps.
I'm sorry, I couldn't get past the first sentence. Mentioning nipples along with slamming things in car doors ... Well, my brain made a bad connection and I just couldn't go on. I'm now wondering if a Kevlar bra might help protect the girls.
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  #28  
Old 09-01-2009, 11:16 AM
Redwing Redwing is offline
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If you could still think through the pain, then it wasn't as bad as a nut shot. If the pain alone causes you to black out, and for the next several hours you're nauseous, and the memory of the impact causes you to miss things going on close to you, then it's closer. If on reading this thread more than twenty years later makes your nipple ache with remembered pain, then we'll talk.

(oddly I got to witness a nut shot even nastier than the ones I've taken, guy's cup was cracked from the force of the blow)
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